This is one of the most inspiring stories I excited for you guys to hear. Please meet Myles, 28, a real estate person, who lives in Henderson, Nevada. He was a little taken aback by the amount of interest he has been receiving and never thought he would get much when he started working with me. He said he was only expecting 2 matches over the course of a couple of months but was surprised that he was able to get two matches in his first two days of working with me. Myles feels like he’s the one who’s getting all the interest and thought that it would be the other way around. The following is the verbatim of our conversation and edited for clarity.
A little bit of who he is
Ruby: Hey, guys, and welcome to another one of these videos where I have one of my clients here share his story. I’m really excited for you guys to listen to this one. This is Miles. Hi, Miles. Thank you so much for being here. How are you doing?
Miles: Oh, thank you so much for having me. Doing fine, best I can in these times.
Ruby: Right. For those of you watching, no matter when you’re watching this, when he says these times, this is during the pandemic, so things are a little different during this time. Even during, he found his own dating success in it. Really excited for you to hear about the story. Let’s just hop in. Can you tell everyone a little bit more about who you are, where you started, your experience, and where you are now?
Miles: Hello, everyone. My name is Myles. I’m 28 years old, I live in Henderson, Nevada. In my career, I am a real estate salesperson, but I’m studying to be a broker at the moment.
His experiences beforehand
Myles: As far as dating experience before all this started, and before I got into the program, it’s a mix, I had a serious relationship that didn’t quite work out. A couple of flings, a lot of times I’ve been put in the friend-zone because I don’t think I’ve made my intentions quite clear. Now, wherever I’m at, I’d say I’m constantly matching with quality women. So many, in fact, I’m having have a little trouble keeping up with it all.
Ruby: It’s not a bad problem to have, right?
Myles: Definitely not, I’m proud of it.
Ruby: Always remember that time you asked me, like, “How do I make sure I don’t say the wrong things to the wrong person?” Or, “When do I take a break? Do I have to talk to–”
Myles: Yeah. I even had to ask my friends for advice. I even asked Ruby, “At what point do I stop taking applications?”
The most helpful knowledge he gained during the program
Overthinking, mindset, reframing.
Ruby: Yeah, exactly. Applications, that’s right. Awesome. I’m so excited that you’re here, talking to her quality ladies. I’m curious, what was the biggest obstacle that you’ve overcome or the most helpful knowledge you gained during our time?
Myles: For me, it would have to be learning about how to curb my overthinking through changes in mindset and reframing my thoughts. I kept asking myself way too many questions, and I wouldn’t take any action as a result, that definitely got in the way.
Ruby: What kind of overthinking or constant mindsets would you have? Would you be like, really down on yourself? Or would you think the girl is not interested? Do you remember what big barriers that were?
Myles: I literally told you my first one was, I didn’t see myself as worthy. I even said, “I’m not worthy.”
Ruby: Yes, you did say it just like that as well. That’s awesome. It feels like mindset, overcoming reframing is a big one for you.
Ruby: Give us a summary of how my guidance has helped you to get these qualities that you have now, the ones that you’re texting?
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The most important part of the program
Finding out my desirable traits.
Myles: I think the most important part for me was you helping me to find my most desirable traits, which in turn had a boosting effect on my confidence, self-esteem, much needed, wanted that. Now, I don’t question whether I’m good or not anymore. I just know I am.
Ruby: That’s awesome. I think one thing that I’ll always remember when we first started talking is, you would actually sit there and be like, “Yeah, I’m awkward. I don’t know.” Do you remember you said that? You’d even describe yourself as so.
Ruby: You would really be down on yourself a lot of times, but you kept saying like, “Oh, I’m just awkward,” even with your first virtual dates. Speaking on that a little because during this pandemic you have to do video calls, phone calls, things like that, so not even meeting in person right away. What was the experience like for you to go through something that’s so already uncomfortable, and you have to do a video call and you felt really awkward? How’d you own the awkwardness in all that and continue able to do it?
Awkwardness & owning his mistakes.
Myles: Yes, video calls, I’ll just preface by saying, even with my own family, it’s awkward. There’s no easy way to do them. When you’re mixing it with strangers you’ve never met before, becomes a lot harder. One of the ways Ruby’s helped me get over it is owning my mistake. I can be awkward in person, I can be awkward over video. I just have to own it and say it is as it is.
Ruby: Exactly. Even us doing this, which I’m so appreciative of you hopping on camera right now and doing it, even though after– this will all be edited, you can see that, but it’s you owning, “Okay, maybe that wasn’t right. Okay, that was weird. Oh, let me do it again.” But owning it is still important. You showing up today doing this, that just says a lot about where you’ve grown from the beginning. Really, really happy for you in that, and I can see it. Do you feel like you are worthy now?
Myles: Definitely. No doubt about it. 110%
Ruby: Also. Tell everyone a little bit about how you’re feeling now in general
How he feels right now
Myles: In all honesty, I’m a little taken aback by the amount of interest I’ve been receiving. I never thought I would ever get this much when I first started. I was expecting one or two matches at most over the course of a couple of months, and I was literally able to get one to two matches over the course of the first two days.
Ruby: and girls were coming to you. Remember that? Is that what happened? You were like, “Whoa, I didn’t even try to–”
Myles: It’s true. I feel like a woman right now because I’m the one who’s getting all the interest. I thought it was the other way around and a lot of trouble.
Doing an online dating course again
Ruby: That’s awesome. Just so the audience knows, we did an online dating course, because that’s what we can do during this pandemic. We did a lot of talking about strategies and going through your profile, putting up the right photos, and all of that. It’s quite a task, but as you know, because you’ve only dated before because that’s what you said.
Myles: I’ve done it before.
Ruby: How was it before?
Myles: I had nowhere near as much success as I did now. That’s the one thing I can tell you.
The more you do it the more chances you to find a right woman
Ruby: What I want people to hear is, it doesn’t matter if it was a fail in the past, because I feel a lot of people think, “Oh, it didn’t work out for me before. It’s not going to work again.” But at the end of the day, it does take someone else coming in being like, “Hey, this is what you got to do to fix things up, and then being open to it,” which is what you did. Online dating can be a hit, guys, even during a pandemic, I’m just trying to say.
Myles: I see it as a numbers game. The more you do it, never give up on it, the more chances. Eventually, I’m hopeful I’m going to find the right woman for me at this rate.
Myles: Just be yourself
Ruby: Exactly. Do you feel more confident in keeping up these conversations? Even via text or phone calls, or virtual dates, do you feel pretty confident in that now?
Myles: Very. Only you have to try, just be me, it works.
Ruby: There you go, the advice of just being yourself. Once again, going back to I, owning it. If you feel any different to just own it and say how you feel. As we said, this is different because it’s during a pandemic. People always talk about, I guess you would say the cons of this all happening, and how dating might not work during this time. What we’ve actually talked about is how this actually can be good, like talking to people before even meeting them. What would you say is an actual benefit of talking to them for so long before meeting in person?
Myles: Well, I’d say the benefits, I can weed out in advance before even talking or meeting with them virtually and get a good idea of whether or not we’re going to be compatible, whether it’s going to work out, whether we have the same goals, whether we have the same aspirations and all that kind of fun stuff.
Seeking dating help
Myles: It’s not shameful
Ruby: Right. Exactly. Talking first actually allows you to emotionally connect before just the physical. It’s always good things about it. The next thing I want to ask is, usually many people who are too scared to get this kind of help because it’s such a vulnerable topic, it can feel shameful. Can you speak to that? What would you say to the people that are thinking, is this weird? Is this weird to do? What would you say?
Myles: I never viewed it as shameful. I just didn’t know it actually existed. Had I known sooner, I would have been on board. Anyway, to give some backstory, I was browsing through Reddit and I saw an AskMeAnything, and Ruby was giving answers. I looked at them like, “This can’t be real. It’s got to be some kind of joke.” Sorry, no offense to you. It’s just what I thought at the time. Then you came back on again, and I read through some of your responses, and like,
“Man, this woman, she knows what she’s talking about. I’m really interested now.” I just said, “You know what? I’m not getting any younger. 28th birthday present to myself, let’s do it.”
Ruby: That’s awesome. As you said, you don’t see it as a shameful thing, why is that?
Then and now
Myles: Given where I am now, as opposed to three months ago, it’s pretty good in terms of self-improvement. I can definitely see all the stuff I’ve learned throughout your program helping the other areas of life too.
Ruby: That’s awesome. You’re saying that, why is it shameful to just improve your life? Because that’s what it will do.
Myles: Of course not.
Ruby: It’s just a very specific area in your life, of course, but why is dating a shameful area you shouldn’t improve on versus career or fitness or health? That’s awesome.
Myles: for the most things. The more you work out, the better you get at it.
Ruby: exactly. What are the reasons you noticed that this investment– because it’s obviously not a light investment, what are the reasons you noticed that this investment was worth it when you first said yes?
A very clear picture of who is he
MYLES: Just do it
Myles: Not long after starting, I was learning a lot about myself and what I wanted. Now, I have a very clear picture of who I am and what I want. I couldn’t say that before. The overwhelming amount of success I’ve gotten with online dating is just icing on the cake.
Ruby: Yeah. You’re saying that no matter what you are going to learn, you’re investing and just learning about yourself, and wherever that takes you, it’s only a really positive route.
Myles: Yeah, if you have any apprehension about it, just do it. I’m kind of a tight ass and I don’t regret it one bit.
Ruby: That’s awesome. Yeah, so usually when people listen to this, they’re kind of on the edge. They’re usually on the edge of considering whether they want to jump into it or not. What would you say to those guys that are on the edge?
What pushes him to get the results
Myles: I was skeptical at first too. Just do it. I’m not afraid of many people, but I am afraid of Ruby.
Ruby: I don’t know if you should say that because now people are going to be scared to work with me. I’m just kidding. It’s just because you took this seriously and you knew by having someone, I guess, coach you, every person that has some kind of coach, you want to be a little scared by that because that’s what pushes you to get your results.
Myles: Yeah. You’re intimidating in a good way. You push me to try harder and be my best self, and that’s what I appreciate most about working with you.
Ruby: Aww. That’s awesome. The great thing about you is that you took it on. Every time I give you feedback, every time I said, “Miles, you’re doing it again, you’re self-deprecating. You’re being mean to yourself.” You take it, you’re like, “Oh, yeah, shoot, I’m doing it.” You recognize it and you’re aware, but I think that’s one of the qualities that made you successful is that you do these, I guess, you say mindset– you have these mindset barriers, you vocalize it, but when you catch it, you’re very aware and you step back, and you make a change.
The qualities you need to be successful in this journey
The last question here actually leads to it, what quality do you think one needs to be successful in this like you, where you are right now? What kind of person, what advice would you give to someone that is going to be working with me, the qualities that they want to have to make this work for them?
Myles: Starting out, it’s a little bit tough. Having homework isn’t always the best. If you try your hardest, give it your all, and power through it, then it’ll be well worth it in the end.
Ruby: As you said, it’s just about powering through it.
Myles: You never give up, that’s the important part. It gets hard. There are times where I’m like, “You know what, what am I doing here?” I’m like, “You know what, no. End of the day, you need this.”
Ruby: Yes, perseverance. I can’t even say that word. Perseverance, and obviously–
Myles: Perseverance. Such a phenomenal word
MYLES: I see the light at the end of the tunnel
Ruby: It really is. That word, and also resilience. Like you’re saying, I love that you mentioned it’s not easy. I tell everyone that, even when I hop on an inquiry call, I say just because we work together, I don’t say it gets easier. It gets harder because you’re doing things that are uncomfortable, but you don’t give up, like you. You didn’t give up. I’m curious, what was your reason for not giving up? What did you tell yourself? What was your why?
Myles: Well, when I first started, I saw where I was heading. I’m like, “I see the light at the end of the tunnel here, and I want to go to it.”
Ruby: Yeah. There you go. That’s awesome. All right. Thank you for sharing all that really, really helpful. Before we wrap up here, any other last words for everyone listening?
Don’t be apprehensive
Myles: I’ll repeat myself. I don’t like repeating myself. I feel like it needs to be said, if you’re apprehensive about it, don’t be, just sign up, you won’t regret it.
Ruby: Yes, I love your– It’s almost just like Nike, “Just do it.”
Myles: No, I don’t want to get into copyright or trademark–
Ruby: Oh, yeah.
Myles: Those are your words, not mine.
Ruby: That’s true. Thank you so much for being here. It’s such an inspirational story. You came from a spot where you felt awkward, you felt like you didn’t really have what it takes, you didn’t think online would work. Now, it’s so nice to hear every time I talk to you, you’re like, “Oh, yeah, I’m talking to these ladies.” “Oh, I’m going to have a virtual date later today or phone call.” All we can hope for is that this pandemic is over soon, and you can actually meet them in person easier. That’s all we can hope.
Myles: for now, it’s still really exciting in a way.
Ruby: exactly! You’re making your situation work for you. I’m very happy for you. Thank you so much for everything. You’re awesome. Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you everyone for listening. All right, see you in the next video, guys.
Myles: I’m going to miss you, Ruby.