I’m talking about another successful dating journey of one of my clients! Please meet William Hung. Does his name ring a bell? Well, William is an American Idol participant who performed Ricky Martin’s She Bangs, and today he’ll be sharing his successful dating journey and how he was able to meet her girlfriend after he sought my help and while owning his quirkiness.
After going through marriage twice with both marriages not work working out, leaving him with pain, he still wanted to find true love. He even came to a point of giving up his dating journey and thought of spending his life being single not until he saw me at Luisa Zhou’s program, Employee to Entrepreneur. He was so amazed by my working experiences and my background in helping good gentlemen finding their loved ones.
We have talked about the following topics.
- William’s identity
- How he was able to find me and what he realized
- He’s status
- The challenges he has faced
- The proper mindset
- My Guidance and my coaching style
- What are the important factors he learned from me?
- His successful dating journey
- Shame factors
- A worthy investment
- Qualities to possess to be successful in dating
Sharing a little bit of himself
Ruby: I have another great story of a successful dating journey of one of my clients. I’m so excited for this one because I just think his journey is one that a lot relate to and where he is, is where a lot of you hope to be, but I have my guest with us today, William. Hi, William.
William: Hello, Ruby.
Ruby: How are you doing?
William: Oh, I’m excited.
Ruby: Yay. We’re both excited. Let’s just hop right in and get this started. Can you tell us a little bit more about who you are, where you started, and where you are now?
William: Well, most people know me from American Idol, but what people might not know is that there were some crazy fans who had signs that said, “Will you marry me?” Of course, my answer is no, because I don’t know who they are. Also, I was just a 20-year-old back then, I wasn’t ready to get married yet. Throughout the years, I’ve been trying to find true love. Many years later, I tried to date and get married twice, but both times, they didn’t work out. It was very painful, both financially and emotionally.
How he found me and realization of asking guidance
Ruby: Yeah, I bet, okay. That’s when you started seeking my guidance. When did you realize, “I need some guidance in this?”
William: Well, I actually had the mindset of thinking about just giving up and be single for the rest of my life because I don’t want to– it feels like having the wrong person in your life, it’s like a burden. It’s like, “Why bother? Why try? There are so many things I could be doing that’s more fun, more enjoyable.” But then, I found you, Ruby, from Luisa Zhou program, Employee to Entrepreneur.
I saw one of the sample pieces, for marketing pieces that she shared with me, and that’s how I found you. Then I looked at your background, it’s like, “Wow.” You actually had a lot of experience working for eHarmony, you’re a total expert. I go check out your website, I see people just like myself, a nice guy, Asian guy, a bit on the geek side may not be the best at articulating of my value because I wasn’t that good at articulating my value, what I’m looking for in my mind, so that’s why I reached out to you.
Ruby: Okay, awesome. Where are you now?
William: Well, I’m excited to say I have a girlfriend that I love spending time with now.
Ruby: Yay, exciting. You just had a birthday too.
Ruby: It was perfect timing where we started to wrap up and you just had your birthday, and you were able to celebrate with her and your friends.
Ruby: That was really fun to do, and you’re already planning the next time what you guys are going to do next.
William: Yeah. I would say at least beyond anything I received for my material gifts and donations, the best birthday gift this year is definitely my new girlfriend.
Ruby: That’s so cute. All right, let’s talk a little bit more about how successful is your dating journey through this. What would you say was the biggest obstacle you overcame in this process?
The biggest obstacle he overcome to be successful on his dating journey
William: Well, the biggest obstacle is, I didn’t believe in myself. I didn’t see how people could possibly love me for who I am based on my background, based on my quirky things that I may like. Like unusual mobile games, it’s nothing wrong with playing those games, but it can be unusual. Or, the way how we need to be flexible in terms of, sometimes enjoying the nice trip, nice food. Other times, it can be very simple. The flexibility is also very hard to– it wasn’t easy to find, it took some time.
Ruby: Right. What was your journey in getting to where you are now? Do you feel valued? Do you feel confident? What was it like through that?
William: Well, now, I do. I didn’t know how things would work out. In the beginning, I did have first dates with about four to five other ladies. But none of those people, I feel, were the right ones for us to continue. Yeah, I wasn’t sure until I saw this new girl.
Ruby: Yeah. Well, the great thing is, is that even though those first days, some were okay. They’re not bad women.
A mindset that needs to keep going
Ruby: One particularly was a bad date. What mindset did you have to continue? To be like, “I’m going to keep going.” Was it built confidence in yourself at the end of the process? How did my guidance help you through that, and even through the tough times? It’s not always easy. I always tell people, it’s not always easy, you don’t find the right girl right at first. What helped you get through that?
William: Well, I think some of your feedback with the self-reflection exercises definitely helped me because I remembered the exercise where you took me through to write down the top three values, how I see it, what to look for, what they say, the way they behave, those were huge. It really is not just looking useful looking for girlfriends. It’s useful for life.
Summary of my guidance & coaching style
Ruby: Give a summary, I guess, of how my guidance, like you were saying with self-reflection, things like that, how my guidance helped you from point A all the way to get that girl you have now?
William: Well, one of the really hardest exercises that I did with you was figuring out what the top values are. I still remember you told me that I need to focus on connecting with the other person’s values and vision, do not focus on complimenting on the external beauty. That was a huge mindset change because before I get sucked in too easily when I see a pretty girl. There are so many pretty girls.
Ruby: That was great. How would you describe my coaching style and how that helped you?
William: Well, I like how you told me to try different things, like even talking to strangers, use different online dating apps and see which one works out the best. Yeah, that’s what it takes.
Also, the other thing that I want to point out that you helped me with a lot was the system. You definitely gave me a system. What to comment on? What to like? How to respond to their feedback? How to get them to tell their stories? That’s one of the most important factors.
What are the important factors?
Ruby: It laid it out for you because I know when you started, you were just confused, right?
Ruby: …information out there. I guess you’d say systemized, or I logically kind of structured it out, so it all makes sense. Usually, when I say that, it almost can feel robotic, but did you feel you had to change yourself at all? Or was it more bringing other parts of you out?
William: Well, it’s still not the most natural thing,
the way that you taught me how to ask questions, how to dig deeper. How to be a better listener actually, that’s another important factor.
Now I know it applies to human communication in general. We shouldn’t be talking all about ourselves, we need to just talk for a little bit, ask the question, talk a little bit, ask another question, and so back and forth, learn from each other. That definitely applies to dating and real life.
Ruby: Right. It’s just like a job interview. It’s how to structure the interaction.
Ruby: …till yourself. I feel you have come out more confident yourself, but it is unnatural and uncomfortable in the beginning because it’s new, it’s weird, it’s different, but it doesn’t seem you’re changing the core of who you are. Do you agree with that?
How successful his dating journey is.
Ruby: Awesome. Tell us more about where you are now, and that kind of journey when you went on a date with her, feeling confident, and a little bit more about her, how are you feeling right now? That’s what everyone gets excited to talk about.
William: Well, I definitely have another aspect of my life that I could get excited about every single day. When we text each other or sometimes I mix it up with a surprise call after work, let each other hear our voices, yeah, it’s been going great.
Ruby: Amazing. Do you feel– like in the beginning, you say you were afraid that you wouldn’t feel valued, or you feel someone isn’t connecting with you or would connect with you, go into a little bit more if you’re feeling that now and how she reciprocates and makes you feel valued and all that.
William: Well, I like how we are very grounded with the way we see life. We’re both extremely positive. One of my favorite response I hear whenever I ask her, “What are you most excited about?” Let’s say on a morning, just to say hi, “what are you most excited about?” She will say, “It is another opportunity to make it a great day.”
William: The reason I know that we are on to something great in terms of building this relationship together, it’s because we know how to compromise for one another. On the second date, she suggested that let’s go and painting together, and then I suggested that we have a vegan lunch together. So, we’re both open to try new things within each other’s world.
Ruby: Yeah, it’s like a partner and a teammate.
Ruby: Awesome. All right, so about the actual one-on-one program. Many people are usually too scared to get help on this because it’s such a vulnerable topic. It can feel very shameful, and as we know, you’re Asian, which can be more shameful to get this kind of help. I feel that.
Ruby: Can you speak to that? What would you say to people who are thinking like, “Isn’t this weird to get help?” What would you say?
William: I was actually brave enough to tell my parents about getting a dating coach.
William: Then both, my mom and dad, thought I was crazy. I was out of my mind.
Ruby: Okay, well, speak for that. Why did you do that? In your own mindset, yeah, why was it not shameful and things like that?
William: Well, I was definitely not sure about the reaction I would get. I thought about hiding it because I don’t wanna share that particular area of my life, however, I value honest communication, and the girl I found also shares the same core idea. Whatever you feel, be honest about it, let’s talk about it. I do the same way. I know there’s a lot of things that I’m trying, that my parents may not agree with, but you’ve got to be willing to try. It’s just like things in life. You’ve only got one life to live.
Getting over the shame factor
Ruby: Okay. You’re saying even if you had that feeling of shame, you’re telling them if this is a goal that you want, why not try and do something so that you can potentially get there?
Ruby: …that want for that kind of goal is higher to you than the shame. You’re like, “Fine.” If it feels shameful, “Oh, well,” but you’re like, “I’m going to go towards my goal.”
William: Right, in terms of the shame factor, I was able to get over the shame factor because I imagined myself spending time with someone I love to take them on the journey that I’m going. I’m still not sure where I’m going. I’m trying speaking, I’m trying eSports, I’m trying different things. But I want someone that could be there with the journey together and we support each other. I thought I could just wait until I get there when I’m making a lot of money, everything is successful, everything is wonderful in life, but I don’t know when that would be, and that’s not the right person either. The right person is someone that’s there for you when you’re trying to get on the foot, get on the gas pedal, try to get going.
Ruby: Yes. Okay. This falls into the next question I usually ask. This is obviously an investment, and you were on with me for three months.
Ruby: Not like an easy investment where you’re just like, “Fine.” What are the reasons you noticed that this heavy investment was worth it when you first said yes?
William: I don’t want to keep guessing, in terms of how to find the right person in my life. I’ve read some articles and general things to look out for, however, I don’t wanna waste my time guessing and sought a dating coach instead.
Ruby: Yeah, guessing takes up quite a lot of time. For someone like you who’s driven and ambitious and has all these other in his life, it’s like you don’t want to spend another five, six hours googling for yourself and you’re not sure if it even works. Like any one-on-one coaching, and as for you, you’re in the speaking world, if you have clients, you help them get to those results faster. That’s awesome.
Qualities to become successful on your dating journey
Ruby: Speaking of which, so last but not least, a lot of times people that are watching this, they’re on the edge, or they wonder if they should do this program. But first, before they join, they need to figure out what qualities do they need to be successful? What qualities do you think going through this process as a person need to be like you right now? Confident, knowledgeable, knows what he’s doing, and has dated or has a girlfriend? What do you think the qualities they need are?
William: Well, I would say you need to be willing to commit the time and energy and implement the things you learned.
Then, once you have the girlfriend, it’s only the first step. It’s important to continue to build a connection, really care for each other. Care for each other is not just good morning, good evening, I try to ask something that would let her tell a story. What are you excited about? What was the most wonderful thing that happened in your day? Something that will continue to build a connection, mix things up.
Ruby: Great! Well, what qualities does the client need to be successful in this program?
William: Definitely self-driven.
Ruby: Self-driven, and you said before, time and energy. Anything else? I feel like I want you to speak about– I think for you, you had a really strong mindset through this all.
Ruby: …you’ve got tough, even when it got busy.
Ruby: I think you’re a really good example of that, and how even through the bad date, you were okay after. Can you speak on the mindset that you’ll need in this program?
William: Well, just because the first four or five, six things don’t work out, doesn’t mean it’s over. It takes time, patience, and being open-minded, and it’s not because you’re doing anything wrong. It’s just that those types of people might not be the right person for you.
Ruby: Okay, awesome It is like being open to the process and, with whatever happens.
Ruby: Great. Last but not least, this is your last closing statement, whatever you want to say. As I said, people that are watching this usually are on the edge thinking if they should work with me or not. I’ll leave it up to you, what do you want to say to them? Anything else that you want to say?
William: Well, if you are someone that is really a nice guy but feel afraid to be very clear with your intention and your values– because that’s not easy to do. You could have these things sitting in your heart, but in order for you to put that out in the real world is not so easy with a complete stranger. Even this girl that I met was a complete stranger. So, I definitely recommend working with someone like you to make the whole process easier.
Ruby: Thank you so much for all the kind words and sharing of your successful dating journey. Check him out, guys. He’s doing a lot of great out there. I’ll probably link it in the bio as well, but he also has a book. What’s the book’s name?
William: Champion by Choice.
Ruby: Yes. He talks about, actually mindset in there. It may not be about dating, but it’s definitely relatable to dating because…
Ruby: …because you choose to be a champion. Do you choose that in your dating life too?
Ruby: …reach that success.
William: Yeah, you have a choice on how you show up to people, and that’s also another important thing because you have all the best systems in place, but if you show up groggy, you don’t show up positive in the right way, it’s going to be hard to attract the other person too.
Ruby: Amazing. Thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate you. Good luck in everything else, with the lady, and with all your greatest adventures. Thank you so much, William. Thank you, guys. Till next time.
It’s such an honor to witness William’s successful dating journey and how he was able to redeem his self-confidence to go out and try.