Ghosted? The Text to Send To Get a Reply

Being ghosted is frustrating. You thought things were going well, maybe you were even planning a date, and then… silence. If you’re looking for a way to get a response, or at least some closure, you’re in the right place. While there are initial “check-in” texts you can send (which I cover in other videos), today we’re diving into an updated strategy – including a “key secret ingredient” text that has a high success rate for getting a reply. It’s important to approach this calmly. These texts aren’t about being angry or demanding; they’re about getting an answer so you can move forward.

First, The Standard “Check-In” (A Quick Recap)

After a good conversation, if she suddenly goes quiet, don’t panic. Give it a bit of time, then send a casual check-in like, “Hey, how’s your week?” or “Hey, how’s it going?” It’s a simple way to give her the benefit of the doubt—maybe she really just missed your last message.

If the Check-In Fails: Two More Texts to Try (After 2-3 More Days)

If that casual check-in goes unanswered for another two to three days, here are two other approaches you can consider, depending on your style and the situation.

Option 1: The Playful Poke

This approach is about acknowledging the silence in a light-hearted, non-serious way. The goal is to alleviate any fear she might have of a negative confrontation, making it easier for her to respond.

• Purpose: To playfully acknowledge she stopped responding, without pressure.
• What to Send: Craft something in your own tone, using emojis to emphasize playfulness. For example:
  • “Oh no, did I scare you off already? 😱”
  • “Whoops, did I say something wrong? My bad! 😅”
  • “Did my amazing text skills finally overwhelm you? 😉 Just checking in!”
• Why it works (sometimes): It’s non-threatening. If she was just busy or avoidant, a playful nudge can make it easier for her to re-engage without feeling like she’s walking into an argument.
• Important: If you just send the words without playful emojis, it can come across as serious or needy, so make sure the tone is clearly light.

Option 2: The “Secret Ingredient” – Your Final Last Chance Text

This is a more direct approach that I’ve found has a very high response rate (around 98% with my clients) because it appeals to a person’s desire not to be seen negatively. This is your “final last chance text.” If she doesn’t respond to this, it truly says a lot.

This text has two key parts:

Part A: Express Your Genuine Feeling. Acknowledge that she hasn’t responded and state how that makes you feel. This is where you show emotional honesty.

• • Examples: “I’m feeling a bit disappointed I haven’t heard back…” or “Honestly, I’m surprised I haven’t gotten a response…” or “I have to admit, I feel a bit taken aback by the silence…”
  • Why this works: When a man genuinely expresses a feeling, women often register it on an emotional level.

Part B: Gently (but Clearly) Call Out the Ghosting. You’re not being aggressive, but you are naming the behavior.

• • Examples: “…especially since it seems like you’ve ghosted.” or “…and I’m surprised you would ghost, especially after our conversation.” or “…and I’m disappointed you chose to ghost.”
  • Why this works: No one likes to be labeled a “ghoster” or to think of themselves as someone who does something they probably wouldn’t like done to them. When called out (even gently), people often feel compelled to respond, if only to clarify their actions or deny the label.

Putting it Together (Example of the “Secret Ingredient” Text):

“Hey [Her Name], I’ve got to say, I’m feeling pretty surprised and a bit disappointed that I haven’t heard back from you, especially since it looks like you’ve ghosted. If you’re not interested, that’s okay, but I was hoping for a response.”

(Remember to use your own words and maintain a calm, non-accusatory tone.)

Here are some real texts that were sent from clients!

             

Why These Texts Work (Especially the “Secret Ingredient”)

• The Playful Text: Lowers her guard and makes responding less intimidating if she’s been avoidant. Many women fear a man’s reaction when rejected (trust me, as a female — some men are mean, angry, and rude after rejection), so we want her to feel safe to respond.
• The “Secret Ingredient” Text:
  • Emotional Honesty: Sharing your feeling creates a human connection.
  • Calling Out the Behavior: Most people don’t want to be seen as “the one who ghosts.” It prompts them to address their actions, often leading to an apology, an explanation, or at least a clear statement of disinterest.

What to Expect (And When to Walk Away)

The primary goal of these texts isn’t necessarily to “win her back,” but to get an answer so you can gain clarity and closure, or, if the circumstances were a misunderstanding, potentially re-open the opportunity.

• She might apologize, explain she’s been busy, and re-engage (e.g., “I’m so sorry, it’s been crazy! Yes, I’d love to meet.”).
• She might admit she’s not interested (e.g., “So sorry, I’ve been busy, and to be honest, I’m just not feeling the chemistry.”). This still sucks, but an answer is better than silence.
• If she still doesn’t reply, especially to the “Secret Ingredient” text: Let it go. Seriously. If someone can’t offer a few seconds to acknowledge your direct and respectful message after they’ve ghosted, it says a lot about their communication style and respect for others. Consider it good riddance. Good riddance 🙂 Better to know now than later.

Crucial Mindset: Respond, Don’t React

When sending any of these texts:

• Come from a good place: Don’t send them when you’re angry, hurt, or feeling reactive.
• Respond, don’t react: Take a moment to ground yourself first.
• Be respectful: Avoid meanness, rudeness, or accusatory language. The point isn’t to make her feel bad; it’s to get information for yourself. Coming from anger will only look bad on your part and won’t achieve your goal.

Moving Forward

Ghosting is unfortunately common, but you don’t have to be left completely in the dark. Using a thoughtful approach like the “playful poke” or the two-part “secret ingredient” text can often help you get the response or closure you need. Remember to craft these messages in your own authentic voice and always come from a place of respect, both for her and for yourself.