Inexperienced in Dating & Don’t Know What to Do? Your First Steps

Feeling stuck? If you’re inexperienced in dating and unsure how and where to start in dating, the thought of putting yourself out there can be paralyzing.  You know you lack experience, but that very fact makes it hard to figure out what to do or where to even begin. You need a starting point, a launchpad to get your dating journey moving.

If this sounds like you, you’re in the right place. Let’s break down the steps to move from feeling stuck to taking action.

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Step 1: Shift Your Mindset – From “Lack” to “Action”

Before anything else, it’s important to tackle the mindset that’s holding you back.

Stop Fixating on the Past

Feeling insecure about your lack of experience is common, but dwelling on it is counterproductive. You haven’t had the experience yet – that’s okay! Now, acknowledge it, but recognize that that is the past. You can’t change it.

Ask “What Can I Do NOW?”

Instead of thinking, “I lack experience,” reframe the narrative. Empower yourself by asking, “What can I do about this now?” Okay, you’re inexperienced – so what’s the action plan? This shifts focus from a problem you can’t change (the past) to solutions you can implement (the present and future).

Don’t Let Insecurity Prevent Starting

This paralyzing thought often stops guys from even starting. Don’t let the insecurity about your past prevent you from building a different future. Remember, everyone starts at zero experience at some point—learning how to start dating is simply part of the journey, no matter your age.

Step 2: Take Action – The Only Way to Get Experience

The core answer to “What do I do?” is deceptively simple: Take action and get the experience. Now is the most important moment. Sitting around thinking won’t change anything. Here’s how to start:

Push Yourself Out There (It’s Non-Negotiable)

You have to push yourself out there. You cannot learn if you’re sitting on the sidelines twiddling your thumbs. This is the fundamental first step.

Where to Start Meeting People?

Putting yourself out there entails meeting women, it’s pretty necessary if your goal is to be in a relationship. So, let’s dive into that! There are really only two main avenues:

• Online Dating: Especially if you’re shy or reserved, download a free dating app (most are free!). It’s a low-pressure way to start interacting and learning. Use it as a tool – even seeing other profiles can help you improve your own.
• Offline Activities: Start getting out more. Practice talking to strangers (yes, anyone!) to build basic social skills. Get out of your comfort zone by joining events, Meetup groups, or classes based on your interests (check sites like Eventbrite). The goal is simply to get yourself in front of people and interact.

Build Confidence While Doing It

Don’t wait until you magically “feel” confident. Confidence often comes from taking action, even scary action. Work on your mindset and push yourself out there simultaneously.

Step 3: Embrace the Learning Curve (Yes, You’ll Stumble!)

Taking action can be scary, especially when you feel unprepared.

Accept That It’s Scary (and Okay)

You might feel like you’ll make mistakes or fall flat on your face. That’s a normal fear. Acknowledge it, but don’t let it stop you.

Mistakes ARE Lessons

If you do stumble? Great! That’s how you learn. You can’t learn if you don’t try. Falling flat helps you realize, “Okay, I won’t do it that way next time,” or “Maybe I need different photos/prompts for my online profile.” This trial-and-error is essential.

Be Open to Learning, Not Fearful of Falling

Shift from being fearful of making mistakes to being open to learning from whatever happens. Meeting people, getting experience (good or bad), and learning about yourself and others is the goal right now.

Step 4: Get Support – You Don’t Have to Do It Alone (Optional but Smart)

 

Feeling overwhelmed or terrified of stumbling alone? Just like someone wanting to get fit might hire a trainer or read books…

Why Seek Help?

Getting guidance can save you time and frustration. Instead of purely trial-and-error (which can be discouraging), you can start with a better foundation.

Types of Resources

Gather resources! Watch helpful YouTube videos (like, mine on the top of this blog), read books on dating or social skills, take online courses, or consider working with a dating coach (like meeee)

Benefits

Support helps you learn faster and provides personalized guidance based on your personality, lifestyle, and location. A good resource or coach can help pick you back up when you stumble, so you don’t feel alone.

Find the Right Fit

If you consider coaching, shop around to find someone suited to your personality and circumstances. But whether it’s a coach, a book, or a video series, seek out support if you feel you need it.

The Bottom Line: Just START

If you take away only one thing, let it be this: Start somewhere. If you don’t know what to do, the answer is to START.

• Get out there.
• Try something (online, offline, joining a group).
• Get resources.
• Get support.

Do something. Any action is better than staying paralyzed by inaction. Be excited to finally begin, get that experience, and launch your dating journey. Good luck!