Humor in Online Messaging

I am going to discuss using “humor in online messaging.” Because, well, laughing, humor, fun is important in dating, and it definitely catches anyone’s attention when another person makes them laugh. I’ve been getting a lot of screenshots and questions about two different things that I’ll answer today in regard to humor.

One, when can you show your humor over online dating apps and messaging? And then, number two is, when you do get a response, because she does find you funny, where do you take the conversation? Because most of the time, she’ll respond, she’ll say, “Oh, that’s funny” or she laughs. But then, you don’t know where to take it from there, because you just realized you didn’t really ask about anything or you didn’t really get to know her. Those are the two things we’ll be talking about today. So, let’s go over the first one.

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Use Humor If It’s a Cold/Initial Message

When should you use humor in an online message? Well, there are only two points. It’s either during an initial message, cold message on hinge or during the conversation. In regard to a first message, I always suggest to be playful and funny if she talks about humor in her profile. If she talks about how she likes sarcasm, if she likes roasting people, if she loves dad jokes, anything like that, there’s already a gateway there, because she’s saying that she loves funny people, she appreciates it, and she is telling you and describing to you what her humor is. That is key.

If she does that and you align with that humor, or you have a lot of dad jokes, or anything like that, you can definitely message her playfully as a first cold message. And it should be received well, because you already know what her humor is.

 

Now, however, if she does not say anything about that, I would not suggest to crack jokes and compliments already, just because you don’t know her. You don’t know her humor. There’s so much lost in text, because you don’t have tone, they don’t see your face or facial expressions. She doesn’t give you any clue on her profile about how she likes to laugh, or what makes her laugh, or humor. I would suggest not to do that.

 

Build Rapport Before Humor

Then, that’s when the second part of it comes in. If you start messaging someone, because the first message was the message that I have advised you in another video of mine in regard to what kind of first messages to send. If you send that and then she responds to you, and you start having a good conversation, and getting to know each other, well, then you can later down the road, throw in some humor.

Basically, allow there to be rapport built before cracking jokes. You want to see how she texts, her language, and see if she cracks jokes at any point, but I would say text for a little bit, at least to a day or two, and then, you can start showing your humor to see if she aligns with you or not. But in that way, you do need to build at least some rapport before randomly throwing in jokes, because we don’t know if she will align or understand it yet. All right, those are the two moments to use humor.

 

Pivot

Now, on to the second part, what do you do when she does tell you, “Your joke is funny,” or tells you like, “I got the joke, ha, ha” or “Thanks for the compliment.” What do you do from there? Well, you pivot. After you get a response, you want to pivot. There’s two ways to pivot and two topics, basically.

One is going back on the profile and asking her about another interest or something you read on the profile and expanding on that. Secondly, you can talk about her day or her highlight of the day. Basically, something very basic, and low key, not too hard to answer, but you’re just trying to get some information from her so you can expand the conversation even more.

If it was the first option, where you’re asking about her profile, you could pivot and say, “So, I see that you are a consultant and I’m just curious how you got into that.” Or, you can ask about her other interests, if she likes wine, “I see that you like wine. Do you like red or white?” Basically, pulling something out of the profile and asking more about it, because remember, the goal here is to get to know her. So, we can’t just keep throwing jokes. We’ve got to ask her questions so you can actually see who she is.

Acknowledge to get information

Secondly, because you sometimes profiles are so bare. There isn’t enough to really work off of or maybe you don’t find anything that stands out or intriguing to you. You could just say, “So, glad you like the joke.” You always want to acknowledge. “Glad you liked the joke. What’s been the highlight of your day.

How’s your Friday going so far? Any fun plans for the weekend?” It is basic, but it allows you to get some information and hopefully with whatever she says. If she says, “Oh, I worked a lot today and I plan to relax later.” Then, you can respond to that and ask about the job or how she’d like to relax. In regard to keeping the conversation going, there is another video on that. So you can check out that video if you have trouble keeping the conversation going but that’s a different topic.

I also have courses about messaging. Check them out here! But other than that, that’s how you use humor in online messaging. Remember, I can’t coach you in humor, because this is your own. The way you are playful and the way you use humor in everyday life is your own. That’s the hardest thing to coach. But know and I encourage that you use it, because laughter is important in a relationship and in dating.