Happy Holidays! Let’s talk about my top five Holiday dating tips. The holidays are quite a time, there is a lot going on, and you start having some questions in dating. You dread only one thing about seeing family….their questions about your love life.
You wonder if you should even date during the Holidays. What are events you can attend during New Year’s that aren’t at a club? I went through the top 5 Holiday tips, answering those frequently asked questions, and got your answers here! Let’s get started.
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Why are Holiday Romances so Intense?
One of the Holiday dating tips, the biggest one, has to do with answering to your family. It’s known that one of the top issues during family gatherings for the Holidays is the intrusive questions. How do you answer when your family asks you during the holiday parties and New Year’s “So, do you have a girlfriend yet?” Or, “Why are you still single?” Because of all those questions, it seems like you come to these holiday parties almost dreading it because you know you’re going to have to answer it.
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My answer to that is…be straightforward. Yet a bit vague, but adding hope, and asking for help. I know, it’s a mixture of things. The best way to answer is it start with “I’m trying. I am dating.” You can say that. You are dating! Even if you don’t have anyone serious, even if you haven’t gone on a date in awhile, but hey — you’re talking to people. At the end of the day, you are trying and you are trying to date. A great answer is “Oh, I would like to have a relationship. I’m trying. I just haven’t found that right person yet.”
Give them a direct and simple answer
That answer tells the family members that you are doing something. Because when families ask that question, at the end of the day, they’re just concerned. They want you to find that person, and they wonder if you’re doing anything about it. Then, they wonder if you need help. That’s why I say giving them that answer, saying you’re trying, already answers it for them. They don’t have to convince you or push you to do anything different if you don’t want to.
By saying, “I’m trying. I’m just not finding the right person yet,” then that also gets them to think, “Okay, so obviously you’re trying and maybe the right person just hasn’t come their way, so I’m not going to pry and I’m not going to push.” Also, when you add a little hope in there, in a sense of, “Yeah, I’m trying something different this time around,” or, “I finally tried this,” you’re giving them a little bit more information. It helps them understand.
Know your family’s intent with the questions
Remember, a family member’s intention isn’t to harm you or annoy you. Their intention is just wishing the best for you, and they know that with the right person and with the right love in anyone’s life, it makes life better. That’s all they’re really asking. So, if you seem very content, and you’re just saying, “I’m trying, I just haven’t found that right person yet, but I’m trying different things this year. I’m actually trying online dating. We’ll see how that goes.” That kind of answer gives them at least a little bit, especially if they’ve been asking this question year after a year. They’re just looking for something, any answer.
Making sure you’re straightforward that you’re trying and that’s what you want, and telling them that you are trying, you just haven’t found the right person yet is good enough! You don’t need to go into the whole spiel of, “Oh, I don’t know. I don’t know why women don’t like me, and I don’t–” There’s no need to go in a whole spiral of complaints.
Be open to asking your family for feedback and opportunities
If you’re open to it, sometimes you don’t know what knowledge or people your family members have. It’s okay to ask them for advice, not just on yourself and what you’re doing wrong. Because, well, they don’t know, they’re not dating you. They see you as their family member. But instead, you can ask them, “Anyone that you might know for me?,” or, “Any suggestions that maybe you’ve heard from other single people or coworkers that I could try?” That way, they feel really grateful that you’re asking for help.
So, that’s that on how to handle family members. It’s very doable. No need to to see as such a dreadful thing. Just remember that they do mean well and to give them an answer-filled with hope, and to not look so dreadful answering it. Because when you look that sad or mad about it, that’s when they keep asking, because they want to make sure you’re okay. Make sure they know that you’re okay.
How Common are Holiday Romances
Out of all the Holiday dating tips, a big question is if you should date during this time. People always think that during the holidays, it’s the time that you shouldn’t meet someone new or you shouldn’t be dating. That’s not the case. This is still the opportunity to shoot your shot. Why? Because people are more merry during this time. They’re more cheery! Yeah, sure, they’re more busy because there’s a lot of things going on, but because of the holiday spirit, they’re just more happy, they’re in a better mood, they’re usually more friendly. Because of that, I would highly suggest to still meet women. However, I wouldn’t suggest online, just because online during this time, people are busy and they’re not on their phones as much but go offline.
Places to meet ladies during the Holidays
There’s a lot of festivities going on, including Christmas tree lighting events or Christmas light spectaculars in neighborhoods. There’s, also, holiday parties! Start talking to friends to see what they’re up to. If they’re hosting a holiday party, see if you can come. Get yourself out there. You can even go to the mall! The mall is a packed place during this time. And yeah, everyone is shopping, but they really don’t mind giving a suggestion or recommendation for someone that will ask. So don’t think this is your time to stop dating! This is your time to still try because everyone is in a good mood, all the way into the New Year.
Stop putting pressure on yourself during the Holidays! I see, year after year, everyone starts to stress out during the holidays. They think that if they meet someone new during this time, they have to figure out what they want to do because they’ll need to invite them to holiday parties, they’ll need to see if they have New Year’s plans with them. Or, I hear frequently, they need to know where their relationship stands. No, no, there’s no pressure. Treat it like any other month! We’re aware that November and December isn’t like every other month, but try your best to shift your perspective in having to change your mindset during this time. Do not putt so much pressure and value into it.
Treat it like any other month
If you were to ask this person to a holiday party, and if you don’t, would they mind? It’s okay to just do what you want to do, just like you do every month. If you want to meet someone new, do it. If you want to ask someone to a holiday party, try. It doesn’t hurt. There’s no pressure to determine the relationship during this time either. Sure, it’s a more cuddly season or what they call cuffing season, but you don’t need to pressure yourself to doing anything. You’re only putting pressure on yourself. Do what you want to do and if the other person feels differently, that’s a discussion you will handle from there.
You control what bothers you
Don’t let your family put pressure on you either. Someone can only get to you as much as you allow them to. If you want to take a break during the holiday season, totally up to you. Do what’s best for you. But if you want to date, then date…and don’t put pressure on.“Oh, if I meet someone right before Christmas, isn’t that awkward? Don’t I have to give her a gift?” No. If you don’t want to, then you don’t want to. Quite honestly, if she asks, “Oh, are you going to give me a gift? Why didn’t you?” Then let her hear you out and help her understand how you view the relationship and how you view the holidays.
Why do Couples Break Up During the Holiday?
That actually goes into the next, out of my 5, Holiday dating tips — it’s okay if you start dating someone during Thanksgiving and then you recognize it’s not going to work and then three weeks in, you want to let them go. That’s okay. Some people think that, “Oh, it’s because of the holidays, I don’t want to let them go. Isn’t that mean of me? Isn’t that mean to let someone go during the holidays?” No. The worst you can do is drag on a relationship and keep it in limbo when you already know you’re not into it.
It’s okay to let it go! As long as you explain yourself, and help them understand why you two aren’t a good fit, the holidays have nothing to do with it. At the end of the day, that’s their own situation to process, but do both of yourselves a favor by not wasting each other’s time by being honest. Let’s give the gift of being honest and authentic every season, guys. That is the greatest gift you can give anybody.
Last but not least, we must talk about New Year’s even in the Holiday Dating tips. let’s talk about New Year’s Eve. New Year’s Eve, everyone has this pressure to go out, get a New Year’s kiss, and go to the club even though that’s not your scene. My advice is, do something different, but not totally out of your character. I don’t suggest to just stay at home if you’re a true introvert. Sure, you may enjoy that because you’re by yourself, but it’s the New Year. Get out there and celebrate with people!
Challenge yourself to do something different
Family counts, but really challenge yourself to see if you can join a New Year’s Eve party of someone else’s. if you can find a friend, a colleague or coworker that’s hosting one. They’re already in your circle so it’s not going to be an odd stretch. If you can find a more chill bar lounge, that’ll work better for your personality too. It doesn’t have to be a club that’s hosting a New Year’s Eve event, there are so many New Year’s Eve events that don’t have bottles popping and DJs. There’s so many other events! I challenge you, even though someone hasn’t invited you to a New Year’s Eve event, to be open and talk to your colleagues and friends asking around, “What are you doing for New Year’s Eve?”
It’s okay to ask others what they’re doing for New Year’s Eve
What I recognize with many of my clients is that they are too shy, they don’t want to impose. If you worry about that, know your friends/colleagues don’t know you even want to go to those events until you make it known. What if they thought of inviting you, but worry they’d be imposing because you never want to go.
It doesn’t hurt to ask someone, “What are you doing New Year’s Eve?” If you get their response and hear “Oh, we’re hosting a holiday party.” You can ask simply, “Well, can I join?” What’s the worst that can happen? They say, “No?” like “Oh, sorry I don’t think that’s a good idea, it’s only for my family.” That’s totally okay! Even if they said “ah sorry we have a limit and don’t have anymore room” That’s totally okay too!
Be careful about taking anything too personal
It’s not anything against you. Don’t take things personally. It’s just that they have a small, maybe apartment, and they only can invite a small group. They have every right to have that choice with their event. But at least they know that you are interested in that. Maybe Next Year, they’ll invite you. Once again, don’t take it so personally if they say no. It’s easy to be hard on yourself. Be proud that you did something different!
Look within if you feel fear and resistance
A lot of people don’t want to ask if they can come to a holiday party because they don’t want to feel the rejection and they fear that they’re imposing an invite. No, that’s not the case. If someone does not want you there, they’ll just say no. Usually, it’s because, like I said, some kind of limitation. It’s not because they don’t like you. If anything, usually when my clients think that, it’s all in their head.
It’s your own self rejecting yourself when you hear, “I’m sorry, my holiday party is already packed,” and you translate it to, “Oh, you must not like me.” That’s a very dangerous mindset to have, start to change that in the New Year. I challenge you to make that your New Year’s resolution! This is one of the biggest Holiday dating tips I can give to you. If you’re someone that’s shy and doesn’t really get out, but wants to find more opportunity, challenge yourself to talk to more people in the New Year. Make it known that you want to hang out with them at a simple lounge, for dinner, at their house playing games. Get out there!
Holiday Dating Tips Conclusion
And, those are the 5 holiday dating tips! Happy Holidays! Make some new goals for yourself, and don’t be afraid. This is your time to do something different. Because remember, you can only get something you’ve never had if you’ve done something you’ve never done.
The challenge around the Holidays and finding the motivation to date is all about mindset. The frustration of not being able to make the move, telling yourself “eh, she won’t like me, this won’t work”, and overthinking every detail is paralyzing and won’t ever get you results. Learn how to overcome these mindset obstacles below, because without it…you’ll stay exactly where you are.
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