What is the difference between the nice guy, the bad boy, and the good guy, aka, I call him the good gentleman. I’ve been getting asked a lot recently of why my program is called A Good Gentleman. Why is it that I help guide my guys to be a good gentleman and what does that even mean? Maybe you’re you’re thinking, “I’m already a good gentleman, Ruby. I am.” Well, let’s talk about that and figure out the differences and what that all means.
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The Bad Boy Traits
Let’s first talk about the bad boy, because that’s the one that people love to talk about and complain about saying, “All women fall for the bad boys. Why do they fall for such awful people, and they don’t give me a chance?” Let’s talk about why these bad boys are attractive. Well, I’m pretty sure you know this and have seen it if you’ve ever could have come across a bad boy. They are confident, know who they are, unashamed, and unapologetically themselves.
When they want something, they go after it. The issue is that confidence usually turns into cockiness. If you think about it, where’s the line there? Well, cockiness usually comes from a place when people want to share how they’re better than you or they’re better than everybody else. Confident is just knowing who you are, and being accepting of who you are, and that’s that.
The issue with the bad boys though is that they’re inconsiderate, they don’t care about other people. They will step on other people to get what they want and don’t care what you think. They don’t care how you feel. They do what they want, and that’s the issue. This is why bad boys normally get into unhealthy relationships or more likely so, if a woman accepts a bad boy into her life, it becomes a toxic relationship. But why are women attracted to them? Well, because of their confidence.
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Confidence is sexy and it is so alluring when a man says he wants you and he’s not afraid to express that, because these bad boys aren’t afraid. But once again, the issue is, that they’re just not nice people. They’re not kind, they don’t care, and they treat people pretty badly. So, that’s the bad boys.
The Nice Guy Traits
Now, what about the other side? What about the nice guys? Well, nice guys are nice, but here’s the unfortunate part. Many times, they’re not as confident. They’re not. They are very easy to mold. These nice guys are usually known for having crushes on friends or ladies but won’t express their feelings. They’ll just go on a nice dinner, and hang out with them, and do actions that they think may be obvious but in reality, you can treat a friend actually the same way. But in their mind, they hope that all these actions are taking at some point the lady will notice and that you will then express your feelings to them or make it obvious.
That’s why nice guys stay in the friendzone for so long, because they don’t want to rock the boat by expressing feelings. They’re afraid to express what they want. That usually correlates to not having that much confidence in who you are, and there’s that uncertainty in yourself, and that’s why it’s very easy for these guys to be molded into a completely different person just because they have a crush on this one girl.
The issue with the Nice Guy
Now yes, they are nice. But let’s take away the word ‘nice’ and just be kind, because being kind is very important in a relationship, being thoughtful is really important in a relationship. But you have to know yourself, and be confident, and not be afraid to go after what you want, being confident knowing how you’re expressing yourself. The last issue here with nice guys, I want to say, is this is not for all nice guys, but many will even label themselves as nice and they’ll say, “Why don’t women give me the chance? I did this and this and she didn’t even return the favor. She didn’t even blah, blah, blah.”
Nice guys, some, like I said, not all, unfortunately, have these angry feelings inside that only gets released when an expectation is not met. In reality, they’re doing all these nice things but because they want something in return. And is that actually the definition of nice? I don’t think so. You don’t do actions because you’re expecting her to do something back. It’s like giving a gift. I like it when I give gifts, I’m not expecting something in return for my friends. I’m giving it because I genuinely want to give it.
The Good Guy Traits
Now, where does the good guy come in? The good guy is a mix of both. The good guy knows who he is, is confident in who he is, isn’t afraid to express his feelings, and go after what he wants. But he’s kind, considerate, respectful, will listen to you, and he will challenge you, but in a healthy way, because he wants to grow and he wants to help you grow. But he’s not inconsiderate on this side, he’s not disrespectful, but he’s also not going to mold for you, because he knows who he is.
He doesn’t think he’s better than you, but he knows how he wants his life to turn out and what he’s looking for in a relationship. That is a good gentleman. A person, who is super authentic, he’s just him. He doesn’t seek approval from anybody else and he accepts himself just the way he is.
That’s why many times in my program, most of my guys are the nice guys. I’m helping them build who they are, rebuild the confidence, gain hope in themselves in dating. That’s why I’ve always said the number one reward for me is not them getting into relationships. It’s seeing them find themselves and feel good about themselves and feel they deserve that love, the best. They just feel they’re at such a secure ground now.
Why do girls want the good guy
That’s why I call it A Good Gentleman, because I help most of my guys become that good gentleman. I’ve realized a lot of girls, by the way, they will say, “I want that good guy. I want that gentleman, that good gentleman.” Girls say that, at least the healthy ones who want a relationship. They don’t ever say, I want a nice guy or a bad boy. If that’s the case, she is not ready for a relationship. If she’s still falling for the bad boys, let her be. If she says, She wants a nice guy, that means she wants someone to have control over and to mold. You don’t want those ladies. If you want a quality lady who wants a long-term relationship, she would say she wants the good guys.
So, that’s where I come in and that’s why I call my program A Good Gentleman. If you’re ever interested in learning more or talking to me, it’s free. Book your free strategy call and let’s chat. See where you’re at in the scale, and if we can build your confidence, and bring you to being that good guy.
Being a good guy makes a lot difference because girls really want to end up with a good well manner guy to build a happy and healthy relationship with. If you feel that you are a nice guy and looking for a quality girl click and find them here