First date set. How much should I text her?

In reality, getting a date is a big deal so today, I’m going to be answering for you, If and how much you should text after you’ve already planned the date in the future. So, there’s days in between from the moment you set the date into when the date will happen, and you wonder, “Should I text? Should I not? If I should, how much?” I’ll be answering that for you today.

Please subscribe to my channel to get new dating advice weekly 

Let’s talk about this because I’ve seen many times where dates end up not happening because people are unsure of the best strategy when you plan and set the date until when the date actually happens. Because when you begin texting someone, with someone that you’re excited about, you finally ask for this date, she says yes, and then you plan the date, you’re texting about that and it’s exciting. And you finally have the date set, the time set, and the location set. But then what you realize, the date isn’t happening until four days later you’ve set it, or that date is not happening for a week later.

 

How frequently you should keep in touch

Obviously, we all have busy lives, we can’t all have the date happen tomorrow. So, you wonder, “Well, should I just stop texting her completely?” Because you want to make sure you save all those topics and conversations for in-person since we know in-person conversations are so much more important and probably better? Or, do you still text and ask her all these questions about herself to potentially keep the excitement? But, what if it’s too much? Which is it?

Let’s go over that, and also I will go over the frequency of it and what to talk about because there are really two questions to this. One, how frequently, and if you should even text, but also number two, what you would text about because you don’t want to get into deep, deep topics before the date. To answer the first part of this, should you text?…Absolutely, 100%, no doubt.

She will forget about you if you don’t text her at all, especially because normally up to this point of planning the date, normally you have kept in touch. Almost every day, maybe every other day, but you’ve been getting to know each other to build that rapport in order for her to even say yes. And if you just coldly stop, if you just coldly say, “Yeah, I’ll see you in four days,” and then nothing happens after that.

It’s very possible, that she probably (unless she’s very organized, but not everybody is this way) may forget about the date altogether because you’re not on the top of her mind every day. And also, it doesn’t build excitement anymore. It doesn’t build curiosity anymore if she doesn’t hear about you.

 

Maintain the momentum

She’ll then be reminded, maybe, that she has a date because you reminded her the day before or the morning of, but then that excitement isn’t there. She’ll then start to doubt and hesitate and think, “Do I want to go on this date with you? Who are you again? What was interesting about you?” And that’s where you see people kind of last minute back out. So, yes, you want to keep texting her to keep that momentum going. Build that excitement for the date. Hopefully, day by day, as the date gets closer, she gets more and more excited to see you and to continue this texting conversation you guys have together.

Well, then it comes to the second question. Usually when I tell my clients, “keep texting her, keep the momentum going,” they’ll ask, “Well, what do we even talk about?” Here’s the thing, I challenge you to continue to text as you have because I’m assuming you’ve at least texted for a week before planning this date. Continue to text what you’ve already been doing, like asking her the questions you’re curious about, getting to know her more.

If you know she likes a certain type of interest, let’s say she likes her books, anime, Let’s say you both love the outdoors, still keep each other updated on what you’re doing that day. Let’s say you like hiking, you went on a hike that morning, you can text her and say, “Look at this view that I just experienced. Have you been to this place?” Or, “I thought of you because we mentioned this and this before.”

 

Be sure to keep her updated

Still keep her posted on potentially what you’re doing and what you’re up to, and continue to still get to know her. But here’s the additional key that keeps it exciting, so that she wants to meet you in person: Ask the questions, but the bigger questions or the bigger answers that you want to provide, save it for the date. Tell her, “Oh, I want to answer this now, but wait till our date.” Or, let’s say she answers one of your questions, and then you say, “Oh, I want to hear more and I actually have more questions to ask you about that topic, but I’m going to save it for our first date because I feel that it’d be better to talk about this in person.” .

Leave it at that– Keep that mystery, that curiosity a bit there, so she’s wondering and she’s curious about what you will say, what you will ask. But it keeps that excitement there to go to the date, so she can find out and hear the story. It also keeps the intrigue there.

By giving those little hints and making those kinds of statements, you’re saying and reminding her, “Hey, we have this date and I’m excited to continue this texting conversation on this date with you”. It’s not like you have to continue these very deep conversations and have these very lengthy texts or anything like that before the date because I do agree, you want to save some of these very personal important topics to actually be in person to talk about it.

 

Save big responses

Save those kinds of big answers for the date. If she asks you a really big question like, “How did you start your career? Why did you choose to be in this job?” You can answer her by saying, “Well, let me tell you, I’ll wait for our first date to explain that because it’s a really long story.” I know I personally did that when I was single. You guys know, my career as a dating coach, so that causes a lot of questions, and explanations when I was single hah.

So I always wanted to save talking about my journey for in-person conversations. But that’s it. So, yes, please text, please, please do not avoid her. Please don’t. It’s so easy to lose a date when you avoid her. It’s very easy for her to ghost. Remember to text her. You don’t have to text her all the time, but continue to get to know her.

When certain big questions or certain answers come up, make sure you add that mystery, excitement, and a reminder of the date that’s coming up and save it for that. That’s what keeps the momentum going. It keeps the rapport going but it keeps the excitement and curiosity there. I hope that helps you guys. Have fun on these dates that you have planned. And I hope this helps in answering so that you don’t lose another date again because you didn’t text her.