How often you should text a girl

How often you should text a girl you like? This is an important and popular question because you don’t want to scare her away by bombarding her with too many texts. But you also don’t want to not text enough because that shows a lack of interest and that causes her to ghost you. So, is there a perfect balance? Let’s talk about that then!

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Mirror Her Response Time

There are really only two steps to this process that will help you find that kind of rhythm and balance. The first step is to mirror her response time. Now, normally, in this scenario, when people are asking this kind of question, they’ve normally met online. So, they have a mutual match, and then you ask a question, she responds, and at that point, what you’re hoping is to get to the date, right?

So, in this case, it is important to mirror her response time, just because you’re trying to build rapport right now, you’re just trying to get a feel for each other, have just a little warmup, and you don’t want to put out anything that she can quickly judge. Just like what I tell you guys, I hope you don’t quickly judge someone either, just because she’s not doing the behavior you expect or hope to. 

 

How to mirror her

When I say mirror, if she responds three hours after your first text and you wait maybe two hours, and then maybe the next time she’ll respond in the next hour. Okay, maybe the next time you respond the next hour, and just see how that dance goes. Now, normally, you start to see a pattern, you can tell when people text faster at a certain time of day or text slower. This is just something for you to learn because you’ll start to recognize depending on the type of work they do or what they do at night, they like to relax, that’s why they’re texting a lot, you’re just learning about each other’s rhythms at this point. So, don’t put so much thought into the sense of, “Oh, if she’s interested or not” in this case.

What we’re trying to do is get to the date. That’s what matters. Once you get to the date, it’s confirmed whether you have a connection or not. If you don’t, that’s done. Done deal. Nothing else to do. If you do have a great connection, that’s perfect. Because that’s what matters the most. In-person connection matters more than texting chemistry. 

 

Remember Everyone is Different

Now, if you really like her in person, and then you go back to texting and realize, “Wow, she’s really slow,” or she’s not at the speed you would hope texting would go in a dating ship, then that’s what leads to step two below. At the end of the day, I want you guys to remember that everyone is different in texting and how they feel about phone calls, even how they feel about dates. Like how many times and how many times they want to see you in a week or in a month, everyone is different.

So, what’s important in this stage is to understand her preferred communication in a dating ship and also future relationship. It’s also important for you to have the relationship you want. So, if texting really matters to you, if a person who texts full responses every day and updates you every day is important, that’s okay. I want you to be in a fulfilling relationship and it’s important to know what that is to you. So, if texting matters, but she’s really bad at it, then at some point, try to understand and ask her how she feels about texting, how often she would hope to text when it comes to a relationship, and what preferred communication she enjoy. Maybe she’d rather stop texting but see you every day or have a phone call with you at night. 

 

Let her know your thoughts

At that point, it’s important for you to talk about that so that you guys can see who’s willing to adjust or who’s not. You can just decide you want to continue from there. Either way, it is totally okay. If you tell her I really appreciate texting, and in a relationship, I hope we keep each other updated throughout the day, have good morning text. Even when we’re living with each other, still have those good morning texts, and you go to work.

If that’s not in her preferred style, then talk about it. See if you’re willing to not have that or if she’s willing to adjust. This is probably one of the first times you see whether you guys are compatible or not. That’s it. Once again, when you’re dating, you want to build the communication style and the dates in looking forward and making sure that this is how the relationship is going to look because it shouldn’t change too much later. So, have that discussion. 

 

Remember to Check In

The last thing I do want to mention is if, let’s say, she stops responding to you and it’s been a day or two, remember that you can check in with her. Check in with her and say, “Hey, how’s your Friday going, how’s your day going?” But if she just doesn’t answer after that, I would say let it go. I’ve talked about this in another blog before, but I just want to reiterate in this blog since we’re talking about how often you should text her.

If she doesn’t respond to you, try one more time just asking her, “How are you doing? two or three days later. If she doesn’t respond to that, let it go. Do not continuously bombard her with, “How are you doing? How’s it going? What’s up?” every week. If she’s not answering you, I don’t know why she decided to let it go, but she just decided to let it go, and you don’t want to bombard her, or scared her away in that case. 

 

Find Clarity

But what you can do anything if she doesn’t answer the second time around, just send her a last text saying, “Hey, I thought we really hit it off, and I just want to know what I did wrong,” and find clarity there. But that’s only if you guys have dated quite a bit because I feel like, if you did date for quite a bit, then that makes sense why you want an answer.

I hope that helps you guys in forming the right rhythm for you in texting, just remember it’s all about communication, understanding, finding what you want, and seeing who’s willing to align with you, connect with you, and make it work.