Today, we’re talking about how to confirm a date without sounding desperate. It’s for those moments when you’ve already confirmed a date or time in the very beginning, but that date isn’t coming up for a week, or two, or even three weeks. You want to make sure that the date is still happening, but you don’t want to keep checking in all the time, or else, you’ll sound desperate, and then you will lose her, and then she stops answering you, and you don’t get the date. That’s what we don’t want.
How do you make sure the date happens? After you’ve already brought up the idea and confirmed it with her, how do you make sure it happens without feeling like you’re pressuring her that much to make it happen?
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Forgetting is Human
Well, the first thing I want to talk about is, remember that it is totally normal for people to forget about dates. I feel that it’s easy for guys to really blame ladies, when if they don’t tap in or check-in about a day. It’s very normal for some ladies not to have a calendar or to book things in. When something else comes up with her friends or her family, she prioritizes that and puts it actually into her planner.
It happens. Know that it happens and just come to a place of acceptance and understanding that humans make mistakes, and that not all of us are really good planners, and it should not affect if she’s really interested in you or not. Because it happens even when people are already dating or in relationships seriously. This is about making sure that you’re still on her mind.
The first thing to remember
When you first planned the date, the first thing to remember is what to do after you’ve planned the date. So let’s say you’re like, “Okay, next two weeks from now, we’re going to meet at a coffee shop at 3 PM.” Then she responds with a “Sounds good. I can’t wait to see you then.” The biggest mistake people make is they just drop the texting from there.
The texting becomes very little to none because people find the comfort of already having that date planned. So you might as well wait till that date to share anything else. What tends to happen is the interest completely drops on her side, because she literally does not think of you anymore.
Continue Communicating After Fixing a Date
After you’ve planned the date, initially, it is important to continue texting, continue that momentum.
Now, know, I don’t mean continue to share your life story and to talk on the phone for nine hours. No, I just mean those constant small check-ins daily or at least every other day, and seeing how she’s doing, what her day has been like, and just tapping in interest here and there, and sharing some stories, still getting to know her.
Don’t be afraid of asking questions about her journey still and who she is. Remember, the best way to keep her excited and have little reminders that date is coming up, is when you do share more about bigger things in your life.
Save the Big Ones for the Date
Let’s say, for example, career. Somehow, you guys talked about your job, you ask her a question, “How did you get into your job?” She gives a small answer, and she asks you, “How about you? How did you get into your job?” This is where you can not share. You can actually save it for the date. You can respond by saying, “That’s a really big journey and a really big topic. I’m going to save that one for our first date in two weeks 🙂 ”
You can add that if you like. It helps excite her, interest her, because she wants to hear. You are saying, it’s a big journey, but also reminds her of the date. It allows also important conversations to happen on the date because you do want to save those really big topics for in person. You feel the energy more, the way you talk about it, the tone is there, you don’t want to do that via text. Making sure that some topics via text, save it for the date, and tell her so.
The same thing for some big questions you want to ask her. You can even text, “Oh, there’s a really big question I want to ask you, but I’m going to save it for the first date,” or “I’ll share that” or “I want you to share that on our first date.” So, give that little tease. That’s the first thing you can do. Continue texting and making sure you save some things for the date and make that known. That’s probably the first and biggest, most helpful strategy and making sure the date happens.
See this text exchange that started with him checking in, then it lead to her excitement for the date:
A Subtle Reminder
But also, as the date gets closer, remind her once of the date coming up. I’ll say the day before, just once. You do not need to confirm it multiple times. Just the day before, as you’re texting, because as I said I would hope you’re texting. I would hope that you will say at some point in the conversation, just say, “Oh, by the way, I’m going to go to work now, or I’m going to head to bed, but I’m excited to see you tomorrow.” That is it. All right. You can make it a statement.
Usually, that’s okay, or you can make it a question if you’d like to.
“So excited to see you tomorrow?” Or, “Ready for tomorrow?” Or, “I’m going to head to bed early. Got a big day with you tomorrow. I hope you’re excited?”
You can make it a question, but it’s not necessary. As long as you chimed in that it’s tomorrow, then usually she would read it. At that point, she’ll usually say, “I’m excited, too. I’ll see you tomorrow,” or if her plans did change, she’ll be honest, say, “Oh, shoot, I forgot,” or “Can we reschedule?” But that way, either way, you will get some answer to how or what she feels about meeting you the next day. That is it.
Then, the next day, when you have the date, all you have to do is text her, “I’m on my way, I’ll see you soon.” But do not say, “Hey, we’re so good today? Are you still good? I’m going to meet you?” There’s no need. You just need to do that once the night before or the day before, and then the next text should be you just saying, you’re on the way or that you’re there at the restaurant. That’s it.
None of that sounds desperate. It’s all on the flow of a conversation, and that’s what’s most important is to keep the texting going, keep the momentum going, don’t lose that, because that’s how you lose it. I’ve seen so many people lose dates because they just stopped texting, and then the interest dies. She’s not excited. So, remember to have a balance of that. Keeping the momentum, keeping her excited, and just one little ping right the day before.
I hope that helps you guys. That’s how you confirm a date! Make sure it happens without sounding desperate. I hope that helps.
Being able to hold a conversation is what drives interest. If you have a hard time in figuring out how to keep the conversation, learn how to smoothly keep the momentum going below: Learn how here