This blog is all about those moments we get really nervous around a girl. It could be during the first date, or during a cold approach at a networking event. You just have all these nerves coming up, and you don’t know what to say. Let me help you overcome that.
“Is there no girl out there for me?”
That’s what they feared…
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Understanding Where the nerves coming From.
The first thing is, where are the nerves are coming from? What is actually happening inside of you? Nerves are similar to anxiety, that the heart is beating really fast, you’re potentially having a harder time breathing, you talk really fast, there’s just a lot going on within you.
The first thing to do when you’re feeling this is to ground yourself, bring yourself back into that present moment because the only times we really feel anxiety or nerves is when we’re thinking in the future or the past.
Normally, in this case, it’s because of the fear of the future. Because you’re hoping she likes you, you want to know what she thinks of you, you wonder if you look weird or you’re being a creep. You’re thinking of the possible things that are happening but haven’t happened yet. It’s important to remember to ground yourself first.
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I go over grounding in another blog and also in my other course, but grounding is sticking to behavior that allows you to snap yourself back very quickly at the moment, to the present moment. For some people, it’s doing an actual behavior to themselves. For example, I always have a hair tie on me, and I usually get really anxious or nervous in big crowds. I don’t normally like big crowds. When that happens, I just snap my hair tie on my wrist. My attention immediately goes to that feeling, and then I snap myself back in the moment. I’m just grounded. I’m not thinking of the future, I’m not thinking of what I’m nervous about anymore. That’s one method.
if you can, catch yourself in your own narrative and tell yourself, “Okay, it’s happening. Calm down, ground yourself. Ground yourself.” If you can say that to yourself internally, and it’ll help bring you back, that’s awesome.
Either way, just find a grounding practice that works for you, that needs to just help you at that moment. Just breathe and be calm. That’s the first thing being calm because once you’re calm, that’s when you actually get to do what you want to do.
Stop Being Intimidated
Next, then it’s about the root of a lot of nerves is because you are viewing her on a higher level, you are viewing her and putting her actually on a higher pedestal than you, or you’re viewing yourself very low. That’s why these kinds of nerves come up in front of a really pretty lady because all you see is that she’s pretty. “Oh my gosh, what if she’s out of my league?” “I don’t know if she’ll like me.” You’re putting yourself down. That’s what happens. It’s almost like when you go talk to a boss, you feel a little bit more intimidated. That’s your boss. There are much more nerves coming into a meeting with your boss versus a colleague, that’s the exact same feeling here because you’re putting this girl above you already before you can even make a decision that she is actually out of your league.
Most of the time, these nerves happen on a cold approach where you don’t even know her, or on a first date where you don’t know her quite yet, so it’s important to build yourself up,
remind yourself that she’s a human being that you don’t know yet. All you’re trying to do is get to know her and see if she’s worth those nerves later on.
Those nerves, later on, can come about because she’s actually a really awesome person, that’s fine. If you just have those nerves, because you just met her, and she seems awesome so far, but it’s only been 15 minutes in the day, just remember, she’s a human being just like you, and all you’re doing is trying to get to know her.
Give Yourself Power
You can either do two things here. You raise yourself back up and remember,
“Hey, I’m an awesome person. I hope she’s an awesome person, too. Then I will decide if I want to continue to date her.” Give yourself that power. Give yourself that power to yourself, and remember how great you are.
I’m not saying you’re better than her or anything like that but knowing your own value and your own worth and standing tall, that’s what it basically is. It’s either rising yourself back up or bringing her down.
When I say bringing her down, I don’t mean it in a negative way. Once again, I mean it in the “Remember, she’s a human,” kind of way, and not thinking she’s a Goddess that is way too out of your league. That’s when the nerves start to happen. One of those techniques, whichever is better for you, you just have to balance each other. You have to, in your own mind, see her at the same level as you, and that you’re just two individuals, two humans with a story, trying to connect and see if there’s anything romantic there. Remember that you’re not trying to beg her to get her interested and you’re not trying to make sure she likes you because it’s those expectations and pressure that makes you really go off the edge and get really nervous and draw a blank.
You’re both lucky to be there
Just remember, you’re human beings, the same level.
You’re awesome. I hope you know you are and if you don’t, then it’s time to work on confidence first but remember that. Remember that, “Hey, she’s lucky to be here with me as I am lucky to be here with her. Let’s get to know each other and let’s see where it goes.” That’s it. Shift your mindset in that way and the nerves and anxiety should start to reduce.
I hope those techniques help. Get out there, keep trying, it takes practice sometimes for it to be completely gone. As long as you try and practice, then you should be good to go at a certain point. Thank you so much for reading this topic.
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