Being able to keep the conversation going is one of the most important factors to successfully date quality women. This is why I am going to talk about the “mindset to have so you’ll always have something to say.”
I get a lot of worried texts, or DMs, or emails about guys feeling like they get stuck a lot in the conversation like they don’t know what else to talk about. They feel they’ve maybe reached a dead end and they wonder, “Is there a way to feel like you’ll always have something to say, and you don’t get stuck?” Because unfortunately, there’s no script.
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That’s what they feared…
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There’s no script I can give you where you can ask all these 20 questions because you’re having a conversation with someone and that should flow naturally. But it is easy to get stuck when you don’t have the proper mindset going into it. Just having the mindset of, “Oh, I’m just going to get to know her,” unfortunately isn’t enough. Because then, you wonder where you should take the conversation and direction.
Obviously, this piece of advice can be used while you’re on a date or when you’re texting somebody. So, I’m going to tell you two points to keep in mind. Because, if I say more than that, it’s going to get very overwhelming and you’re going to get stuck again.
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Now, the first thing I’m going to tell you is probably the most important. I want you to start with that first and then once you get used to implementing this in your mindset, then you can do the second, because it is better if you do both. But once again, I don’t want to overwhelm you, and you feel you have to remember these two things, and then you kind of freak out even more.
In regard to the mindset to have so that you can always have something to say in the conversation. Instead of thinking about, “How else do I get to know her, what else should I say,” because what gets you stuck, just remember these two words. Stay curious. That is it. If you forget everything else in this video, that’s fine. But just remember those two words. When you’re going into a date, when you’re in a texting conversation, just remember, stay curious. Stay curious about her.
Things you can ask about
Every response she gets, really try to completely understand who she is, where she’s come from, and her journey. Asking questions like, “Well, how did that begin for you? Oh, when did that start for you? I’ve never heard about that before. Tell me more. Can you expand on that a little bit? Oh, it seems that means a lot to you, why?” Really fully understand her journey.
I feel when I have reviewed conversations where people get stuck, I find so many points that you could have been expanded on. But people just ask questions, and then they just stop there, and then then they ask something completely different. But when she responds, for example, about how her weekend was and then there’s a glimpse of her talking about her family, go into that topic and say, “Oh, wait, you just mentioned your family.
We’ve never really talked about that yet. Tell me more about your family.” Every response she gives, there’s always something to expand on. Ask yourself, “Do I fully understand her? Do I fully know her journey?” If she talks about her career and what she does, understand the whole journey. What motivates her, what led her to this, is this what she wants for the rest of her life? When you just remember to stay curious, I’m telling you, you really don’t run out of things to ask about at least.
Remember Your Own Values
Then from there comes a second point. Because I also believe in conversations, you shouldn’t just be asking her a bunch of questions that almost feels potentially an interrogation and you’re obviously a part of this conversation, too. Once you have that staying curious mindset down, there’s a second point. The second point is always remembering your own values, and what matters to you. Because in dating, you want her to get to know you and you want to see how she responds to your values. There’s two words here. That’s the second point. Your values. What do I mean by that? Don’t feel shy to share things about yourself, even if she hasn’t really asked the question.
If you feel like you’ve reached a silent spot and you want to restart a conversation, well, just remember, what are your values? For example, I know one of my values is I’m very passionate. If the conversation was just quiet, I will just randomly say, “Hey, I just randomly thought about this. I feel everything I do, I give it my 120% because earlier today, I play Monopoly Deal and I was so about it and winning. What do you think it’s something you’re passionate about?” So, you bring it up as your own story to share, because you randomly thought about it, then you turn it around to see how she would respond to it.
What To Watch Out For
You want to do this because you want to see how she would respond to your values, and who you are, and if she connects with you or not. If not, let’s say in that example that I gave you, if you told me, “Oh, I don’t know. I don’t really have passions.” Well, that’s a red flag for me, because I’m a passionate person and I want my partner to be passionate about something. It doesn’t have to be the same thing, but something. So, that’s already good information for me to have to carry forward.
That’s it. Just keep those two things in mind. Stay curious and then your values. Either way, once you have that, you can for sure, forever– not forever, the conversations stop at some point. Feel like you’re having a continuous conversation where you’re getting to know her, but you’re also seeing your connection as well. That’s it. Implement that, and get out there, stay curious, and share your values.
Having a proper mindset in dating has a significant role in determining your success. If you’d like to re-frame your mindset to confidently date, click here & I’ll walk you through it.