Let me discuss what you can do if she says I’m busy. When the moment you are trying to plan a date, “she tells you she’s busy and doesn’t give you an alternative date”. Is she actually interested? Is she slowly going to ghost on you? What does it mean? Is she telling the truth? Well, that’s what we’re going to be talking about today and I’ll give you that answer.
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Check Your Mindset
The first is about mindset. First, be very careful in quickly judging and assuming if she’s lying. Especially when you’ve had bad experiences before. This normally happens when you’ve been ghosted plenty of times, or you’ve had women tell you that they’re busy, they’re sick, and then they just completely disappear. It is frustrating. What’s really important is to make sure you take every experience for itself. Every woman is different.
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Don’t already put this lady in a bad bucket. When you had these ladies, you can place those ladies in bad buckets that did that to you, but you can’t always then carry that with this new person. She’s different. She’s not the same. You don’t want to quickly already assume when you actually don’t know the answer. Many times, I’ve seen guys sabotage themselves because of this when in reality, they actually don’t know if that lady was really interested. They just stopped answering these women.
They just completely decided to dive out of that boat, because they don’t want to be faced with disappointment again. Although I understand that, you are also leaving the chance for success here. So, please, leave those other experiences at the door and please, you don’t know her. I see too many guys try to assume they know a woman, but you don’t know her. So, don’t already think that she’s a liar. We’re not all the same. Do not generalize. I’m sure you don’t want women to think you’re like every other guy.
Ask for Alternative Dates
Secondly, here are the steps you can take. One is, ask her for alternative dates. You can say, “I understand you’re busy. When’s the next date you think you’d be available, just so we can put it in the calendar, because I know that you’re busy.” Simple as that. If from there, obviously, if she gives us a straightforward answer, great. We’re done. However, there are times where a lady will tell you, “I don’t know. I don’t know when I’m going to be free next. Things are a little crazy.” Frustrating answer, but there is a second step here.
If she gives you that answer, what’s really important to do is to understand her. Just tell her, “Look, I get it. Life is really crazy. So, what is it for you? Are you okay? Is it work, is it personalized, tell me about it?“. Have an open ear, be that guy, who is going to listen to her and listen to what she’s going through. Be there for her. The thing about that is, sometimes, not sometimes, most of the times when my clients ask that and they actually hear what’s keeping her so busy, they get it.
They understand. They’re like, “Wow, okay, actually, that does sound really crazy and I’m so sorry.” I’ve had someone ask that in the past because I said I’ve been busy. What I was going through was someone slowly passing away, so I had to take care of them at the hospital a lot. I would like to think you would understand that. But if you didn’t ask, if you didn’t just ask what was keeping me so busy, he wouldn’t have known, and I feel that’s a valid and fair answer. At an early stage of dating as well, women don’t owe you an explanation. Try to understand her and support her through this time period. I hope that understanding brings you a little bit of peace as well.
Then from there, step three is to wait. Wait for the end of next week or if anything that max two weeks. After two weeks, you just ask her, how she’s doing and then say, “I do still want to connect with you and get to know you further than just texting. What’s your next availability?” It’s not saying, “Are you free to Saturday or Sunday?” Let her choose the dates because she has a lot going on. From there, hopefully, she gives you some availability. If not, if she then still says, “I don’t know still. I am still so busy. I’ll let you know,” I would say if this has been two to three weeks and I’m assuming probably a month, because you already texted before even offering to plan the first date, at that point, I would be honest. I want you guys to not waste your time either.
At that point, I would say, “Look, it seems life is keeping you really busy and I really want to connect with someone so that I can see if this can go further and I’m not trying to look for just a texting relationship.” Obviously, in any of this, you can pick and choose what feels right to you, but that’s what you want to say, like, “I’m not here for a texting buddy. So, what do you think we can do? Do you think we can video chat? Because that’s fine too. Or do you think we should just let this go, because if you don’t see yourself being available soon, I would just say let’s just let this be and if you become available and you still want to meet, then you can text me.” That way, you’re not trying to keep this texting relationship alive for longer than you need to. You don’t need to put more energy into this. You just either are done with it.
Another thing you can tell her is “Look, I’m going to leave it up to you, but let’s just not text anymore until you feel you’re ready.” Or, if she’s open to a plan, and she says something like, “Let’s do some video dates for now and I hope within a week or two, I’ll be available,” because you want to put a timestamp to it, too. You can tell her, “If you don’t know when you would be available, I also don’t want to wait around. I don’t mean to come off in a mean way, but I also want to be honest in that I’m here because I want to date to find somebody, and I don’t want to waste both our time.” Stating “I don’t want to waste both our times.” shows you’re not only considerate of your own time, but hers too.
That’s that. Be honest, guys. Don’t waste your time and hopefully, those steps give you enough answers, because from there, if she says she’s busy, I would say, then try to see if you can the why. Why are we here? Why are you here? That’s it. Those are the steps to figure out if she’s actually busy. Don’t assume, go through those steps, and see what she’s willing to do. I’ve seen many situations play out differently. Don’t think it’s always going to play out the same.
Every woman is not the same. I hope those steps help you and just remember, you can always find your answer and the answer lies with her. Ask the questions, and get your conclusion. If you don’t get the answer you need, then that’s when you can let it go.
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