What am I doing wrong in dating?

A growing number of men are given up on dating, but before you do, let me answer the big question I get a lot, which is, “What am I doing wrong? What am I doing wrong in dating?” I don’t know. I don’t know where I’m going wrong, I’m just not getting the results that I want. I’m just not getting second dates. I’m just not getting fresh responses.

Wherever layer it is in dating, you just have the big broad question of, “What are you doing wrong?” Where can you start getting your answers? Well, that’s what we’re talking about today and I have three steps for you in regard to that.

What am I doing wrong in dating?

When it comes to that question, “What am I doing wrong,” I feel that many times people can go into this web of possibilities, which quite honestly only makes you confused. If you’re taking all the layers of dating, there are so many factors. And many times, you’ll feel you’re successful in this one area, but not this one. But then all of a sudden, you realize you are successful in this area. Then, this one slipped up. You’re just confused. Where do I go here, what am I supposed to be focused on? Here are three steps to hopefully help you in this.

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Seek Answers

Number one, which is what you’re already doing, which is reading, and watching material on Google, YouTube, wherever it is. You’re already seeking answers, which is already a really good spot. You’re not sitting there to yourself trying to figure it out.

Because in reality, if you haven’t figured it out already, you sitting there and looking at the process and what you’ve already been doing is going to be really difficult. And yes, you can ask friends and family, but it’s pretty difficult there too, because their biased. They know you and quite honestly, they would be giving potentially different advice, if you were a complete stranger. But because you’re related to them, it’s very easy to skew advice for you.

This is probably why you go to Google, you go to YouTube, you go to any social media, Instagram to figure out, “Okay, what advice am I hearing let me implement all the different things I’m hearing, and see what’s going on?” So, that’s just the first step. And some people, they’ll find a piece of advice that then, all of a sudden, it changes everything for them, which is fantastic. While for others, they’re still feeling they’re hitting a wall. At that point, what can you do?

Ask the Ladies

 

The second thing you can do is, ask the ladies. Ask them for feedback. It’s really shocking to me when I see my guys become very hesitant in asking the girl they just went out on a date with, but then said she’s not feeling it, to just ask her. “Is there any feedback you want to share? I felt we had a really good time and from my own dating journey, is there anything I could have done differently?” Even just that. No. Yes, yes, there is a percentage of ladies who won’t give you an answer.

 

They’ll just say something vague that they just didn’t feel it and that’s fine. Yes, but there’s also a percentage of ladies who wants to help, who will actually tell you, “No, it’s something that you set on the date, I don’t know. I’m not too sure.” Why not ask with the potential of that answer? Because if you don’t ask at all, you’re just not going to get anything. Period. It doesn’t hurt to ask somebody.

 

That includes if you’re texting them, you never met them, but she just ghosts you, you can check-in. I talked about that in my other video about what happens when a woman stops responding. Check-in with her or ask, if she ghosts you after she’s already scheduled a date with you, you can ask and be honest and say, “Are we still on for the date?” If she doesn’t answer after that, you can say be honest and ask, “I’m surprised that we scheduled a date, but you haven’t answered me. I hope that you’re okay for one, because is there’s something that happened?” Ask. It doesn’t hurt. As long as you are not calling her names, or being judgmental or anything like that, you just simply asking, it doesn’t hurt.

 

Many times, women can hesitate to be honest and be direct just because they don’t know who you are. There are a lot of men out there who will react very, very negatively. Sometimes, they don’t want to give that honest answer right off the bat. So, by you asking in an open-ended conversation, quality, and kind women will give you an answer. Do not be afraid to ask. Because as many times as my clients have asked me, what these girls are thinking, I’m not a mind reader. The best way to go is to ask the lady themselves. 

 

Seek Help

Take the help to ask a professional. I’m not inviting you to only talk to me. You don’t have to feel you align with me or want to talk to me. But you can ask another coach, another dating coach. You can ask your even therapists, maybe it’s your mindset. Mindset first. Get a therapist, and see if there’s usually a process, and let go. But I wonder, what is your fear? What is your fear and asking for help? People who want to lose weight or get the body that they want, nobody ever questions when getting a fitness trainer. Fitness trainers do the same thing.

You can google everything for fitness and health, but why do people go to classes or get a trainer? It’s because they want something customized to themselves, and they want to be held accountable, and they really want someone to just tell them, “This is what you’re doing wrong,” and that’s what a professional does. That’s what I do for all my clients. 

I’m very honest with them, I go through all the layers of the dating funnel from mindset, to compatibility, to who you want, to online dating, to offline dating, and I see all the things they’re doing, and I’ll come to them and say, “This is it. This is where you need to adjust.” That’s what people want, because all of you guys are reading this, this is your dating journey. Every person is different. This is why I love having one-on-one clients, because I get to personally know your situation, and who you are, and make more of a custom-fit program for you instead of the broad advice that I’m giving.

 

Why do I have issues with dating?

If you feel like you’ve been stuck in a cycle for a very long time, I highly suggest taking a step forward and start doing something different ask somebody who’s been in the field–for me, it’s been over a decade, a long time, to see what you can do. It just doesn’t hurt. If this is something you really want, it’s up to you to decide how much and what you’re willing to do to get it. That’s that. 

 

I hope that helps in finding the steps and where to go and figuring out what you’re doing wrong but know that the answers are out there. You’ve just got to take the step forward to do it. Click this link if you want to chat with me, it’s free. I’ll give you a blueprint of the direction I think is best for you to go and then see if we’re a good fit or not because I value in making sure that we’re a good fit for each other. But other than that, overall. I hope you take any step forward, guys. You’ve got this.