Create an emotional connection with your date

Creating an emotional connection with your date is not just a physical connection that creates a healthy thriving relationships. It isn’t just a physical connection that creates chemistry and spark. It’s that emotional aspect too, the vulnerability and the desire to listen to your partner’s stories but also hopefully, you want to enter into a relationship where you feel safe to share literally everything, your darkest moments to your brightest.

That starts with trying to have that emotional connection with your date and continuing onward. But a lot of times, I hear a lot of the feedback of, “It’s so hard. It’s so hard to create that. How do you do it?” Well, I’ll be sharing that with you today and I’m glad you came across this topic, because an emotional connection is what really creates the most healthiest and long-term relationships because you know literally everything about each other, and you’re not afraid to share it, and you love each other for it. How do we already start creating that? When do you start sharing all these things?

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Tell Stories

Well, the first thing I want to talk about is, something I’ve mentioned in a blog before, is a way to create an emotional connection is by telling stories, instead of statements and facts. I hear a lot of times on dates, people just start talking about their interests. “Oh, I like running, I like traveling.” What happens is you get to know each other, but you’re not really building a connection. You just know facts about somebody else. She only knows these facts about you. Instead, I challenge you to shift those facts into stories, because it’s through stories that you organically show those emotions.

I don’t know about you, but when I retell a story, if it’s funny, I can’t help but laugh again. If it’s exciting, you can see it in my face if I’m really passionate or excited about something. Or if it’s sad, you can see the pain normally in anyone’s eyes. A way to shift a statement is instead of saying, “Oh, yeah, I love traveling, I went to Thailand, France, and Italy.” Instead of doing that, shifting it and saying, “Yeah, I love just a sense of adventure. There was this one time specifically I went to Thailand, and this and this happened.” That’s a story.

Instead of answering through facts and statements, shift it to sharing a story. That way, you’re connecting now on what matters, which is that adventurous side of you. It’s not the fact that you traveled, because many people travel, but they travel differently. But if she can understand the foundation of it, she will connect on you in that way, and you guys have so much more ways to continue the conversation. So, tell your story.

 

Be Expressive

Number two, a way to help with emotional connection is by making sure that you are expressive. You are expressive. I don’t know if you guys can tell, in my videos, I’m pretty expressive. I’m moving my hands, you see that I smile here and there, I hope you can see through my eyes. But expression through hands, facials, eyes, body language, the nonverbal is important. It’s not just your tone. Yes, voice is important too. About many times I see my clients, they’ve never looked at themselves in the mirror and seen how they talked about themselves. They never realized how stoic they are until I talked to them on a video call and I realized they did not once smile or not once moved. Some of my clients don’t even move. They’re just there as if it’s an interview.

 

A helpful exercise for this is standing in front of the mirror and just answering the question of, “What do you like to do? What are your favorite hobbies? Who are you? What else do I not know about you?” Questions that you feel you get on dates but talk to yourself. I know that sounds really silly to do, but I’m telling you it makes such a difference. I did this a long time ago when I wanted to be better at speaking because I realized I was stoic and never made an expression, which made me intimidating to people. Doing that kind of exercise, really, at least, if anything, makes you aware, and then you can start changing.

 

Remember to Say “I Feel”

Then number three, last but not least, a way to also start cultivating an emotional connection, is by saying, I feel. Women do need to feel some emotion from you. That’s why stories help that emotional connection, because you’re exuding that emotion, and she feels it. But a lot of times, once again, it’s hard for you to show those emotions. I get it. Sometimes, it’s just by being direct and remembering to state and throw in there the words, ‘I feel’.

If you are talking about traveling, at some point after you’ve stated how much you like to travel, then just say, “It makes me feel like this. When I’m able to make it to the top of a crazy hike, it makes me feel like this.” Use the word, ‘feelings’. If you tap into your feelings, it will help her tap into who you are and help tap into hers too. That way, you can connect a little bit more on that emotional side.

That’s it. Those are the three points or three ways to start emotionally connecting with someone. Now, obviously, it goes down a much bigger path, and talking about your journey, who you are, your deepest, darkest moments, what made you, you? But just those three points are how you start that, at least in the first couple of days. I hope that helps you guys. Try that out and I hope it’s easier for you now to make an emotional connection. Just remember, sometimes, it doesn’t happen, but that’s because you guys just didn’t connect and that’s okay. Not everyone’s going to connect with you, but as long as you know you did your best.