Today I’m going to be answering the question, “How do you greet someone that you’ve met online for the first time?” Because it can be really nerve-racking, even though you’ve been chatting for a while and feel excited about this day when you first in person, you can’t help, but have those butterflies come up, because you want to be able to start the date in the right way, and you want to make sure you don’t cross over any boundaries. At the same time, you don’t want to seem like you’re coming off as a friend already, and you also don’t want it to seem like a professional business meeting. So, what is the right greeting? Well, let me tell you today.
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Don’t Shake Hands
The first thing I want to talk about is what you don’t want to do. This is the one greeting I’ve seen people do, but I say just take it off the table, and that is doing a handshake. When you do a handshake, why do you normally do that? Who do you normally greet with a handshake? That is usually when you’re seeing someone for an interview, as a professional business interview, or when you’re meeting someone like let’s say at a friend’s party, or a networking event, when they are a complete stranger.
You’ve never had any interaction with them before. You don’t know them. So, it’s proper to do a handshake. In this scenario, you’ve actually talked to her already. You’ve developed at least some rapport and comfort with each other to decide to meet. So, doing a handshake just makes it very cold. It starts the date very coldly with space involved. Already, she’s wondering, “What is this?” “Okay, nice to meet you,” professional vibes. It already starts to potentially have her hesitate on who you are and what this is.
We just want to take out the handshake, because once again, that’s more for complete strangers. But in this case, you’ve been talking to her. So, you want to give a little bit more closeness than creating space.
Choose to Wave or Hug
What are the ways to greet? There’s the wave, just as simple like, “Hey,” “Oh, hey. Nice to meet you.” Or, there’s the hug, which one should you do? The first thing I want to talk about is, I want to make sure that you guys are obviously comfortable. If you’re not a hugger, don’t do it. If you know that you want to get to know someone a little bit more before you go in for the hug, which I do suggest normally at the end of the date if you feel like you really like her because that gives at least a little bit of physical touch and intimacy, that’s great, that’s fine. But if you’re not a hugger, then don’t force yourself to do something you’re already uncomfortable with.
So, if that is the case, then you would just do a simple wave and making sure that it’s not a wave that is within your comfort zone box to make you feel like you’re very uncertain or shy about it. If you do a confident wave with like, “Hey, what’s going on?” That’s great. But if it’s kind of in your box, like, “Hey, hey, what’s up?” It’s not as inviting. You want to be able to expand a little bit more so that it helps her already feel comfortable with you. A wave is okay, especially if you’re not a hugger (I suggest to watch my youtube video to see the gestures)
The Best Greeting
However, my suggested, best greeting is one where you want to show that you’re welcoming, that you want to share the space with her, and that you are excited to meet her and be with her, and that is by trying to go in for a hug. However, here’s the trick. You don’t just go in and hug her because I will say, once again, some people are not huggers. The most awkward thing that could happen is you hug her and she’s just stiff like this because she’s not comfortable with it. You don’t want to cross boundaries either if she’s not a hugger. How do you make that work? How do you know what kind of greeting does she feel good with?
Well, you would actually go in for the hug. So, you take the actions as if you’re going to hug her. Let’s say, Sarah, “Oh, hey, Sarah, nice to meet you.” So, you’re coming in, and then at that point, then you’ll say, “Oh, wait, sorry, I’m a hugger. I want to make sure I don’t cross any boundaries though. Are we good to hug? Are you a hugger?” If she says, “Sorry, no.” You’re like, “Oh, no problem then,” like, “Hey, how are you doing?” That’s it.
It balances that kind of energy where you’re already entering in the date, very friendly, very welcoming. Already, you’re trying to start that closeness because once again, we want to make sure if we can set up that already intimate setting that’s helpful. But at the same time, you’re not crossing boundaries.
So, you’re coming in for it, but then you’re going to stop yourself. You’re going to stop yourself and basically asked her, “Are you a hugger? Is that okay? Is this okay?” “No?” And if she says, “Yeah, yeah,” most people say, “Yes, that’s fine.” And then you hug, feels great. Or she’ll say, “Oh, no. I’m good.” And if she says that, and by the way, if at that time, if she does hold out her hand for a handshake, then you will take it because that’s something she initiates, but most of the time I’ve seen ladies, if they don’t want to hug, then they’ll say, “Oh, sorry. Yeah, I’m not.” You’re like, “Oh, no worries. Let’s do a nice wave. Not awkward at all.” And then, you continue your date.
So, it already starts the day in this light environment as it is, because you’re already being playful, you’re joking. It’s not so serious. “Hi, Sarah. Nice to meet you.” “Hey, how’s it going?” You always want to start off the date by being playful. There’s already the warmth to it all, so she’s comfortable. And that way, you’ll start the date in a very open kind of sense.
All right. That’s it. That’s how you greet someone in person for the first time from online dating. Once again, I hope that helps, it starts it in a playful way, but that way you get the best of both worlds and you don’t have to be stuck in an awkward situation. You just own it, if anything.
Thank you, guys, so much for taking your time to read this blog
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