How to to keep the conversation going?

It could be extremely difficult when it comes to having conversations with another person, many people shut down quickly and feel nervous. Because any kind of conversation can be hard especially when they’re more on the shy or awkward side, they feel a huge wall spring up that doesn’t allow them to keep a conversation going. Why is it so difficult to continue a conversation? And how would you keep it going and never run out of things to say? I answer all of that below to make you feel more confident. 

These are the two main reasons it’s difficult to keep a conversation:

“I don’t know” 

There’s a blank that is drawn because you don’t know what to say about yourself, how to ask a question (and is it even the right question to ask?), and how to transition smoothly from one topic to another. 

You’re aware that to keep a conversation going, it’s about the in-betweens of what you say, it’s about the bridge you build from one topic to hopefully connect to exchange numbers, and how would you make her interested to know you, but you simply don’t know how to do that. They didn’t teach this in school! Being taught how to be in a job interview is very different than how to talk to your crush. 

“What do I talk about next?” 

Sometimes, it’s not the lack of options to continue the conversation. It’s knowing there are many directions to take the conversation so you experience analysis paralysis.  You end up doing nothing because you overanalyzed the situation, seeing the web of options to make sure you are making the best choice and decision, and you can’t pick or decide.

This is more likely for those who are shy because you also start to worry about what the other person may think so your mind runs a bit wild.

To resolve and help you get out of both the barriers above, you need focus and clarity. Because learning where to focus in your conversation will help you easily direct it as need be.

Two steps to keeping a conversation

What that said, let’s be clear on the two factors (that’s right, just two) that keep a conversation going. If you remember these two and only focus on these two, your mind will smoothly find its way. 

Connection

First, it’s important to be clear on the goal of a conversation. 

No, it’s not to get the number. No, it’s not to get her to like you. Those expectations will only heighten the pressure for yourself, sending you to shut down quicker. And if you are only focused on that, you’re actually losing out on the girl because you’re focused on the endgame more than her. 

So what is the goal? The goal is to connect. 

When you’re talking, observe where you two connect. That connection is what will build continuous conversations, forever. You will always fall back to what connected you two in the first place and you’ll constantly talk about what connects both of you. 

Connection is one of the factors that keep a conversation going, and it’s an extremely important one. So, the next time you start a conversation or go on a date, focus on finding where you two connect. 

A big assist in finding your connection is setting up the best date to allow that ease in connection.

Curiosity

The second factor to keep a conversation going is curiosity though it can be difficult. The genuine wonder of what that person is thinking, who that person is, and learning more about them is one of the keys to not only conversations but attraction. 

Think about the last person you were interested in, weren’t you curious about her? So curious that you keep wanting to spend time with her. 

The focus here is you want to allow her to be curious about you. When she shows curiosity and asks you questions the more she is going to share more about her and ask questions about you.

What kills most men, making it impossible for this to happen, is they’re too afraid to talk about themselves. They fear sounding cocky or self-absorbed….but then, she sees it as a lack of confidence and self-awareness. Know that there are ways on how to talk about yourself without sounding arrogant and when you have to talk about yourself, the best idea is to start with the basics. 

Remember that, if you don’t talk about yourself during the date which is not normal. How can she be interested in you without knowing much about you? And if you reframe to talk about yourself, it may not lead to the next date. 

Know that it is also a good try to tell something about yourself in the best way possible. It would be much easier when you are listening to what they have to say. 

It’s important to practice overcoming your shyness so that you can get comfortable talking about yourself and when you finally overcome your shyness you will have more positive self-esteem that could work to your dating journey.

Remember that being shy is something you can learn to overcome and it’s important to do so for a genuine relationship to start.

Now, how do you talk about yourself without being cocky? How do you allow her to be curious? 

How do you figure out what you two connect? What are connections anyways? Same interests, childhood pasts, activities? where they grew up or where they went to college? 

I answer all of that, giving you the exact questions to ask to find where you two connect and exact prompts of how to draw curiosity without coming off as self-absorbed and in my Keeping a Conversation Formula product. 

In the video and ebook, I go into the details of how to execute these two factors to keep the conversations going.