Introverted or Shy Guy dating? How to make it work for you

Let me say this first…ladies do want be dating a shy guy. It’s not a negative trait. It’s only hindering where you allow it to stop you from taking action and stops you from talking to women. If you have social anxiety and awkwardness that stops you from dating, or if ever you felt like your introversion or shyness got in the way…you are not alone and you’ve come to the right place to help start your journey.

I’ve come across numerous people, including myself in the past, who struggle to date because they are “too shy,” reserved, or introverted. Before I go into the key to help you get over your shyness, let’s talk about the difference between being shy and being introverted.

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One of the common misconceptions that I see is that people assume that being shy and introverted are interchangeable. That’s not the case. Another misconception is that being shy is a weakness, but it is definitely not! Knowing the difference between these two characteristics can be a game-changer.

Are Shy Guys Good to Date?

First, let’s define what being an introvert or a shy person means. Introversion is a personality trait identified in many theories of personality. Introverts recharge their energy by spending time alone, feel more comfortable focusing on their inner thoughts and ideas rather than what is happening externally, and enjoy time in small settings. They prefer meaningful and deep conversations over small talk. Shyness, on the other hand, involves a feeling of apprehension or discomfort in social situations. Both introversion and shyness are not weaknesses; they are simply aspects of your personality.

I’ve always categorized myself as a “social introvert” because even though I have the qualities of a classic introvert, I do enjoy having meaningful conversations.

Put me in a group filled with people I don’t know? I will crawl into my shell and get exhausted.

Does being introverted a quality you align with?

Being an introvert is NOT what makes dating and socializing hard for you…

However, Shyness can.

So, are introverted or shy guys good to date? Absolutely. Shy guys often bring a lot to the table in relationships. They tend to be great listeners and genuinely interested in getting to know their partners on a deeper level. Their preference for meaningful conversation over small talk means that they can form strong emotional connections. Shy guys are typically thoughtful and considerate, often putting their partner’s needs first. They might take longer to open up, but this often means they value the relationship deeply and are committed to making it work. So, if you’re wondering whether shy guys are good to date, the answer is a resounding yes. They might just be some of the most genuine and caring partners you’ll find.

 

Unlike being introverted, being shy is like a skill, it can be sharpened and changed. Shyness is also not a weakness. However, if it gets to a point where it stops you from dating because you can’t get yourself to talk, then you’re in the perfect spot to learn how to get out of it. Like any other skill, such as preparing for a job interview, shyness can be addressed.

When it comes to interviewing for a job, there is preparation involved, and a need to get out of your shell to be uncomfortable in a skill that can be mastered. Dating is similar! In order to get a date, you need to push yourself out of your comfort zone and sharpen certain skills to put your best foot forward.

Before getting into the practical way to prepare yourself, one thing you have to address is the core of shyness. For most people, it’s the fear and concern of what others think that hinder the behavior and thoughts. It may be traumatic experiences from the past or the uncertainties of the future. It’s important to be aware of the root of your actions, and once you can accept that — you put all that aside and think of the now.

 

Staying Present to Overcome Shyness

If you think about it, the only time we stop in our tracks and sike ourselves out of doing something we originally wanted to do is because we’re not in the present moment.

We think of the future or the past

The possible, horrible, outcomes that could come out of this situation

Or, the possible outcomes because of your past.

It takes you out of the now and unfortunately, stops you from acting in the now

The concept of grounding is the same for all, but the method may look different for everyone. One way to focus on the now may be an actual physical reminder. For example, having a good luck bracelet that you touch, a trinket that you symbolize to bring you to the present or just any other physical touch maybe your method.

Or, the most effective technique, you can focus and ground your body.

By centering yourself and connecting your body to the earth or yourself, it eases the physical symptoms shyness may do to you (like heavy breathing, fast heart pacing, etc).

Here are some techniques:

1. Cover your crown – putting your palm to your forehead with a slight press
2. Feel your Feet – Shuffling your feet and connecting to the ground
3. Take breaths – taking deep breathes lasting 10 seconds each
4. Touching – pick up or touch anything around you, feel the texture and focus on the color of the items.
5. Listen – Listen to the noises around you. Do you hear someone talking, a car passing by, traffic? Let the sound remind you of where you are.
6. Visualizing – if you like nature, for example, think about scenery where people taking pictures, giggling, and laughing while walking and enjoying the scenery.
7. Practice self-kindness – say something loud and repeat kind compassionate words in your head as many times as possible.

I go over exactly how to execute these practices, along with my grounding practice (that is not one of the above, but a similar concept…) in my YouTube video here if you’re curious

Whatever it may be – it should be something that comforts you, snaps you back, and allows you to live in the moment, in the NOW, so that you can be your best calm self.

Remember, this is a learnable skill, so let’s give it a shot!! Try and practice this with your friends and family, so that you can do this more naturally when you go on your dates.