In this blog, I’m talking about the top three conversation starters with a girl. These starters can be used in person, online dating, or even DMs (Direct messages on Social media platforms). You just have to adjust it to your scenario but it’s more about, of course, knowing what the foundation is so that you can adjust it.
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Remember the Goal is to Connect
What is that foundation? The foundation, and remember actually, the point of a conversation,
the goal of it, is to connect. You’re trying to connect with another individual. You connect by sharing your thoughts or your stories. The whole goal is, hopefully, to allow her to talk about herself through stories.
The biggest mistake I see in conversations, especially in conversation starters, or questions, is people ask questions that just head towards a wall. It’s a yes or no question, or they talk about the specific interest itself, they don’t talk about the person. Just remember, that the goal is to connect, the goal is to really get to know each other, and usually, if you have the intention of allowing her to tell a story, then that will lead you to further a conversation and hopefully a deeper connection. So, now, let’s get to it — What are those top three conversation starters?
Use the Environment
Well, top conversation starter number one, is using the environment and asking her for her thoughts or recommendations. Now, let’s use an example in person for this. Actually, this is the best method for it, because there’s nothing you know about her except the environment you guys are in. There’s nothing really you have in common because you don’t know her age, you don’t know anything about her, except that let’s say you’re in that cafe, and there’s a long line, or you’re at a restaurant waiting for a takeout, which is taking forever, or you’re at a department store and shopping for clothes, or snacks.
If that is the case, I’d say take the last example, when you are in a store, you can ask someone for their thoughts or recommendations or something that you’re looking for or something that you’re holding. If you have different shirts that you’re walking around with, you can ask her, “
Hey, I know this is random, but I’m just curious, what do you think about this? Does this look good?” Or, you could ask her, “Hey, do you have any idea which brand of cereal is good here? What’s your favorite? I just don’t know what to pick.”
It’s a very low ball open liner, not a scary or creepy question. I feel that friendly people love to help people. They really do. Of course, let’s be real, there are going to be those girls who just don’t respond, because they don’t like talking to people or just had a bad day. You don’t want to spend much more time with those ladies.
Testing the water
With this question, all you’re doing is trying to see if she’s even in the mood to talk to someone, or if she is a friendly person. With this question, all you’re doing is trying to open a potential conversation to see if you’d even be interested in her through the way she responds. You’ll see if you even get along, even for the short 30 seconds. Then from there, if she does give you a great response, she is very receptive, then you can decide if you want to take it further. How to transition is a whole other story.
Today, we’re just talking about starting a conversation. Once again, this can be used even during your dates. You can comment on something, you can ask her thoughts about it.
Once again, this conversation starter is best for in-person, since you don’t really know her.
What Got You Into That?
The second conversation starter, is asking her, “What got you into that?” The first thing you want to do is the course you want to pinpoint something that you guys have in common. Let’s say it’s on online dating and you got a match. You see a specific interest that you two have in common or it’s something you’re curious about. You can ask her then, “What got you into that?” It’s so much better than asking, for example, let’s say, you two both love to travel. Many people will ask, “What’s the destination you want to go to next?” “What’s your favorite place you’ve been to?” It’s just getting really redundant after that. A really great question to ask is, “What got you into that?” This can be used during a date, you can comment on something that you see. Then she’ll say, “Oh, yeah, I used to do that.” Or, “I love that.” You can say, “Oh, well, what got you into that?” Then that leads to a great conversation.
What Do You Enjoy About That?
The third conversation starter actually transitions really well with that question, and the conversation starter here is asking, “What do you enjoy about that?” You can take that same interest or you can take a new topic, but if you find some information, you realize that she likes this or that, let’s say through Instagram because I mentioned DMs earlier, let’s say there’s something that she keeps posting about on her stories. You could just DM her and say, “Well, I see you like cooking a lot. What do you enjoy about that? I see you like to do that a lot. What is it that you actually enjoy about it?” That way, she can tell you what specifically about certain things that she does, why does it bring her joy? From there, usually, it’s a great response to the story, and you can expand from the conversation from there.
Those are the top three conversation starters! Just remember, at the end of the day, what matters most is that you just start. You just start a conversation and you try, because that’s the only way for a conversation to, well, really begin.
Remember, the foundation of all those questions is allowing her to tell a story. Let her talk about her journey and herself because usually through those responses, then you can share about your journey, you can ask more follow-up questions.
Those starters just allow you to continue to get to know her more. All those three can be packed in one conversation, so know that too. They’re not even just starters, they’re great follow-ups as well.
Thank you so much for the time to read this topic. Good luck with those conversations. Remember, just get started, that’s what matters 🙂