Today, we’re talking about how you’re potentially ruining your chances of dating. I get a lot of questions in my inbox about what you’re doing wrong, why girls ghost you, and more. What I’ve realized is the main root of the issue is something that many haven’t even thought about. It’s usually the furthest thing that these guys, my audience, my clients think about. What that is? You. The root of the problem is you. Sound harsh? Well, I’m being straightforward 🙂 But, hear me out!
What I mean by that is, when people are asking about how to online date, approach a woman, or start a conversation? It’s always about the strategies! But they’re not realizing that the bigger problem is, the umbrella over it, which is your mindset. Your internal workings, your healthy perspective that is so necessary to get success in dating. People don’t look at themselves first and that is the problem.
“Is there no girl out there for me?”
That’s what they feared…
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Check if you have a Healthy Mindset
This post is for you if you’re already reading this and you’re thinking, “I don’t have a mindset problem. I’ve never really had to work on it. I think I’m fine. I just need to know the strategies.” If you’re already thinking, then stay here. Stay on this and keep reading. This isn’t for you if you’re reading this and you are aware that you have mindset obstacles, and you’re either currently working on it, or you’ve already been working on it and you feel present, grateful, appreciative. You are hopeful for what the daily journey will bring you. You’re just trying to learn strategies. If that’s you, you don’t need to read this blog.
Biggest dating mindset barriers
What I want to talk about here is walking you through the biggest five dating mindset barriers that I have seen my clients go through, but they have overcome it, and the moment they overcome it is when they actually get success. If you watch my clients’ stories, you’ll realize that they will report that the biggest thing that they’ve really grown in is their mindset and they feel that was the game-changer. It wasn’t how to message, how to talk to girls, or flirt with them. It was about figuring themselves out and getting that healthy perspective. If you align or recognize that you have any of these five next mindset barriers, it’s okay. The first step is awareness, and then you can seek guidance in it. It is important to even pinpoint or label what mindset obstacle you may fall in.
The first big mindset obstacle is anxiety. Anxiety comes from fear. Fear of the potential future and fear of the past, like you, are fearing that the past repeats itself. Basically, you’re not in a moment. Anxiety is also recognized as a very physical, reactive kind of place. That means your heart is literally beating very heavily, you can’t breathe. Anxiety is a big one. Anxiety is just built off of fear. You just have a lot of fear. If you have a lot of fear and worries, anxiety is probably the obstacle for you.
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2. Overanalyzing and Overthinking
Number two, overanalyzing or overthinking. This one is a big one for my clients. This one, I definitely will say 80% of my clients have. This is literally the statement of creating a mountain over a molehill. You’re taking one situation and one behavior and seeing all the potential possibilities that could have happened. You start overanalyzing a situation instead of just seeing it for what it simply is.
Number three, self-sabotage. Now, this is this might be one of the reasons you are ruining your chances in dating. This is where it truly is because you stop yourself from even getting the date or the chance before she even says no or rejects you. Somehow, you’ve created a conclusion already that she won’t be interested or that you just wouldn’t be good enough, and you convince yourself to the point where no action is taken. That’s a scary one.
4. Low Self-Esteem
That also can lead to number four, which is, low self-esteem. This one can be scary because if you’re not careful, it can lead you to depression. Heal through it and seek help from a therapist or a counselor. Low self-esteem is when you just don’t have confidence in yourself, you don’t really see yourself as worthy or you don’t see your value, you don’t think you’re good enough, you don’t think you’re attractive enough, you just don’t think highly of yourself. It’s a very sad and dark place to be. Once again, if it’s a very low place, and I do suggest seeking help, but if you feel like you’re okay, you just sometimes have those thoughts, then you can seek resources elsewhere. Low self-esteem may be the reason you are ruining your chances of dating.
Last, but not least number five, probably the most toxic obstacle is negativity. This is the one that stems from anger, from irritation. Stems from this dark place of blame. Negativity is when you see action from a woman and you basically blame her and think of all the negative things that she could mean and what she could do. You don’t look at women or at dating or events, online dating, whatever it is, you blame everything else and you look at it through a very negative lens. You just can’t see anything work. Now, this is a toxic place to be, because if you do get into a relationship from negativity, you’re getting yourself into a toxic relationship. It’s very important to catch yourself on how negative you are and try to come out of that before it gets too dark for you because this might be one of the reasons you ruining your chances of dating.
Concluding how you ruin your chance in dating
Those are the top five big mindset obstacles that you may not know that ruining your chances of dating! I’m not telling you this to bring you down. I am telling you this to recognize it so that you can get help with it. Now, you can look at your resources, you can either read books and self-improvement about exactly that. There are resources out there, I’m here for you to help in that, but what I really hope you recognize is that mindset is so important that needs to come first and to be real with yourself. I would hope you have the desire to invest in yourself and really get that healthy perspective because that is what’s going to get you your success.
I know it’s really real or harsh, but I’m being honest and straightforward because I want to help, but to get the most help, to get success, it starts with here, or here. Good luck with everything!
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