There’s a lot to conversations and that’s why I’ve made videos, like how to keep an engaging conversation, how to even keep the conversation going, but we have another layer for you today, which is about, what happens if you mess it up? There’s that fear people have when they’re in a conversation that really trips them up, which is the fear of saying the wrong things. “What if I say the wrong things? What do I do if I say the wrong things?” I’m going to answer that for you, just a quick note to remember to subscribe to my channel to hear more dating advice and keep up with all of it. Let’s get into figuring out what to do when you say the wrong things.
“Is there no girl out there for me?”
That’s what they feared…
Good-hearted men worried, doubted and almost gave up until they’ve read this proven 5-Step Plan:
Download your free ebook here: 5-steps to Quality Dates
Check Your Mindset and Be Accepting
Now, the first thing I want to say is, to check on your mindset first. I think that fear of potentially saying the wrong thing hinders you from even saying anything. We want to make sure you’re actually still having a conversation. Most of the time, it’s your mindset that really stops you from potentially having a great conversation. The first thing I want you to start adjusting in your perspective in is recognizing that you’re going to accept and own that if you make a mistake, it’s okay, as long as you’re talking.
That’s it. Everything, quite honestly in life, don’t we all have a percentage of doing the wrong thing and making a mistake? But does that stop us from all the other things we want to do? No. With dating and conversations, already come in thinking, “It is what it is. I’m going to try it. If it happens, it happens,” and that’s that. Do not be so scared of it. Because if you really think about it, what do you really have to be afraid of? I know you, guys.
This ebook has the ultimate plan for every good-intentioned man to find his true love, no matter the previous failures
Download your free ebook here: 5-steps to Quality Dates
Cherish this eBook: it contains more than a decade of proven wisdom from my vast experience with single men as a couples therapist, matchmaker, coach and previous eHarmony lead.
Try to learn
You guys are really kind, great, good, guys. The only way it could go so wrong is if you say something rude or inappropriate, or you’re crossing her boundaries. Which quite honestly, even if I wanted you guys to do that, you wouldn’t do that. Saying the wrong things aren’t going to be that much of an extreme, I bet. The first thing I want you to do is to accept that you might say the wrong things, but it’s better to try and to learn than to not try at all. That’s the first thing I want to hopefully, really express to you in a strong way, because that’s usually one of the main things is your mindset.
Number two, the only last thing I have to say with this is, if you mess up if you say the wrong thing, own it. Don’t feel so embarrassed, and walk away, and start to clam up, because many times, it’s all in your head. If you feel like you said the wrong thing, it’s all in your mind. But then your reaction towards it, your nerves that come up after it is what confuses a woman. She’ll see you shake and get nervous, and she’ll wonder what’s happening to you. When in reality, she didn’t even think what you said was wrong. But you are causing that to yourself. If anything, what you can do is you own it by expressing that to her.
For example, I’ve had many Facebook Lives in my Facebook group where I talk really fast, I slip up on my words, and I recognize that maybe some of my audience can’t really understand what I’m saying. But I’ll own that. I’ll say, “Oops, oh my gosh, sorry, guys. I just talked really fast. Let me back up.” Or, if I’m tired from a day and I realized because I’m tired, I’m not saying the right things, I’ll own it. I’ll say, “Does that make sense? I’m so sorry. That’s not what I wanted to say. I’m just tired. Okay, let me start that over.” Own it.
Even if you’re awkward, even if you realize you’re just nervous, you can own that you’re nervous and you can tell her,
“Oh, shoot. That’s not what I wanted to say. Sorry, for whatever reason, I’m just not feeling myself today.”
Express it and own it. Because if anything, women find it endearing that you’re honest with yourself, and you’re honest with her, and that way there’s no confusion on her part whatsoever. She’s very aware that you feel these things, and she’ll accept it, and you’ll continue on your conversation.
Really what makes things awkward is when you don’t say anything at all and she’s trying to understand what is going on. Why are you looking in all these different directions? Why did you just run away? That’s what confuses women. But if you’re honest, and you own it, and you accept it, and you just say, “Let me take a second. Let me say that again.” I know for many people, even for myself, I blank out a lot of times. I’ll start a conversation and then all of a sudden, I just stop and I’ll think, “Hold on, I just drew a blank. I’m sorry. Can I get back to that?” That’s it. No one has ever thought I was odd for it. They understand because we all go through it.
That’s it, When it comes to saying the wrong things, if you are saying the wrong things, at the end of the day, it’s about how you feel about it and how she responds. No one’s really perfect is what I’m saying. Nobody is. Accept that you’re human, and accept that you may make mistakes. But when you do, you’re going to learn. I hope you just go into that conversation, do your best, learn from there, and own it if you mess up. That’s that. If you need more help in conversations, I have a product on how to keep that conversation going.
Don’t let awkward conversations ruin your date; instead, be self-assured enough to own it and be yourself. If you still feel like you struggle with your mindset, let me help you improve your struggles from overthinking to self-sabotage.