I am going to talk about the one text you do not send when you’re trying to transition to get her number. This could be transitioning from online dating, off of a social media platform, or an email. Whatever approach you take, if you don’t have her phone number just yet, you probably want to switch to texting as soon as possible. You probably don’t want to keep checking the app any longer, do you?
“Is there no girl out there for me?”
That’s what they feared…
Good-hearted men worried, doubted and almost gave up until they’ve read this proven 5-Step Plan:
Download your free ebook here: 5-steps to Quality Dates
How do you politely ask a girl for her number?
The first note I want to say is I’ve already made a blog about the best way to transition to an actual date and this includes getting her phone number to the same thing. If you choose to get the phone number first before the date, it’s the same concept and the same steps. So if you haven’t read that, I do suggest reading that first!
I talked about one of the biggest reasons why women won’t respond to you if you try to transition, but after making that video I realized there is actually another really common behavior that men do. This is even after knowing how to transition and knowing that formula, but doing this does NOT get results, the woman starts to disappear.
This ebook has the ultimate plan for every good-intentioned man to find his true love, no matter the previous failures
Download your free ebook here: 5-steps to Quality Dates
Cherish this eBook: it contains more than a decade of proven wisdom from my vast experience with single men as a couples therapist, matchmaker, coach and previous eHarmony lead.
Should I ask for her number or wait?
I wanted to make sure you don’t send this text when you’re asking for her number. So that if you feel like you’ve obviously been doing what I’ve said in the other post, but you’re still not getting the women to respond “yes” to you when you ask for the number….This may be why! So, what is that text? What is this one text that’s not working?
Don’t send this when you’re asking for her number:
What’s wrong with this transition? Adding your number. First, I want to point out that the example above does everything you’re supposed to do in a good transition, until the very end. It’s very simple to think you’re doing everything right, but you wonder what went wrong with this message. And that mistake is giving your number.
Why does this make women disappear?
Why am I telling you “don’t send this text when you’re asking for her number?” Why is that a mistake? If you’re adding the number to the end of a text, it’s basically telling a woman “chat with me there, text me first.” The reason why women don’t respond to that well (or end up not texting you all together) is because one most women still enjoy being pursued chased.
They love a man that takes the lead and takes initiative. The more feminine of a woman you want, the more likely she’s going to want that kind of man. And if you are telling her to take the initiative and to take the lead on that, that alone will have her second-guessing. She’ll wonder “I don’t want to do that…okay, I’m gonna have to text you, but what do I even text? And do I even answer you here?” Those second thoughts and hesitation will quite honestly push her to leave the conversation.
She’ll especially make an exit when in the middle of a great topic and she asked a question, you just plug in a text like this
Women want to be pursued
Especially if you’re talking to someone remotely attractive or smart, she has other options. She has other men who are not afraid to make the move and take the lead. So if she’s already hesitant on that and she sees that maybe she doesn’t take the lead that much, she moves on. And to clarify, you may think you’re taking the lead because you’ve asked but that’s actually not following through…it’s a halfway ask. It’s a maybe-kind-of-asking-but-a-suggestion, then you give her this odd option to text you from there.
It makes a woman confused because she wonders “you asked a question in the app, but you gave me your number so….do I answer here? Do I answer there? What if he accidentally wrote his number wrong and I”m the first to text….’ And once again, quite honestly, if they’re asking that…they just move on.
So remember you don’t send this text when you’re asking for her number because women still like to be pursued and chased. The only time this has been successful is if you know you’re a hot-shot, you already have a lot of matches, have a lot of interests, like a…. a Brad Pitt haha. Then, obviously, you get a lot of interest from women, and that’s when this works. The only time women don’t mind taking the initiative is when she’s incredibly interested in you.
Giving your number is pushy
There’s another reason why she’s probably not responding because you gave her your number. It’s because, even if the text itself has a question, you still plugged in the number there. And what that means is…you’re pushing her to do something without confirming her answers or asking for her thoughts. It’s important to ask directly “what do you think ?” or “would you be open to sharing your number?” And even if you ask that, but you still include her number, that doesn’t work. Even if you already got a yes to exchanging contact and ask for hr contact, but include your number below….
Unfortunately, that didn’t work.
What if the woman isn’t comfortable quite yet? You’re not giving her the option to share her thoughts with you on if she feels it’s the right time or if she wants to wait a little longer. Sure, you may want her to express those thoughts, but you didn’t invite her to. By giving her your number, it puts pressure on a woman and no woman really likes to feel like they’re limited or pushed to do something.
Women aren’t as willing to share their number
I do want to make an important note that most women nowadays don’t want to share their phone numbers because it’s private and personal information. They don’t just in case you’re the type of person that would spam it, send it elsewhere to be spammed, or to be harassed. And, that is the second reason on why you don’t send this text when you’re asking for her number.
Just remember to leave out your number! Ask for hers, then take it from there. Ask if she’s comfortable with it or “what are your thoughts?” And if she does share her number, you will text her, it’s as simple as that! That’s it! Alright.
In conclusion, it’s a combination on writing a great transition message that’ll get her to respond and this advice. And of course, don’t worry if you’ve been doing all of this. If you’ve done all you can and she still doesn’t respond, it’s not your fault.
If you have any other questions in regards to texting or the conversation before the transition because you obviously want a good warm-up to make sure she says yes, then make sure to read/watch on how to go from initial messaging to transitioning.
I hope that helps you guys! If you did make that mistake, it’s time to stop. But, I’m pretty sure you got the tools now. You got this!