It’s time for some real talk. I want to talk about something that you absolutely need if you even want or think of wanting a relationship. I’m sorry to say but if you don’t have this one thing, I suggest to put dating on the back burner and to not pursue dating. I’d suggest on shifting your focus, and not trying to get advice on dating because your focus should be elsewhere. There is one quality you need to attract ladies & get into a relationship, and if you have this, you can continue to learn!
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Stability & Security
The one quality you need to attract ladies & get into a relationship is security (or, stability) I don’t just mean finances. Well, yes, finances is definitely a part of security. The security is important in a relationship. It’s important to have a job or career so you can have a roof over your heads and to eat. Having financial security is important so you can come home every day, know you’ll always be fed, and not worry about where you’re going to sleep. That’s very important so you can bring a woman home to your home as well!
So if you have a really tough time even making rent, keeping a roof over your head, or putting food on the table, it’s not suggested to then bring someone else in your life with. That person is not going to help everything be better. Really look at yourself, see where you can grow so you can be healthy to be ready for a relationship.
I want to make clear that you don’t have to have the most money, be at your dream job, or fully get rid of a mental illness (it’s not about getting rid of it, it’s about managing it). If you truly believe women are only attract to money, know that that is NOT the case, it’s more than that. It’s about everything else, about you, that attracts women. However, there is a necessary foundation that is needed to be considered as a great or right partner.
You don’t want to worry about affordability
It’s been shown through my experience that quality ladies do want someone who they feel like they can go on dates with without having to worry. Worry about if you can even afford this or that. Or maybe if that date is going to get you kicked out of your own place or that you can’t feed yourself. It’s okay if you’re choosing to not have something seemingly “necessary”, but if you don’t have something because you can’t, that’s a problem.
For example, if you don’t have a car, and worry that that fact may not attract ladies. It’ll worry ladies (and probably not attract them) if you want a car, and do need it to get from one place to another (especially if you’re living in the suburbs), but you just can’t afford it. There’s a difference between that versus you’re just choosing not to have a car. There are plenty of people who choose not to have a car because they live in the city and can get around using public transportation. But if you want it and you know you need it to get around, but you just can’t afford it, then that is an issue. If you go on this date, you don’t want any of those worries for yourself or her, do you?
Mental & emotional security
Financial security is one form of security, but another is security in who you are. Being healthy on all areas is key to start dating and attracting your ladies. I don’t just mean physical health, but emotional and mental health. Feeling really unstable and insecure of your own emotions is important to be aware of. This includes how your past has affected you. Or, maybe you’re not even aware of your own demons or barriers internally. A woman’s not going to help you figure that out. It’s up to you.
Remember, I don’t mean for this post to be negative or discouraging. I’m telling you that your focus should be on yourself, spend some time to do better for yourself. Invest time and energy to reflect on yourself, get help, and know how to be better. And once you do that, once you finally gain that confidence, your secure and stable job, your mental health, and your emotional health, you will be ready. Trust me, dating will feel a lot easier because women will be looking for just that.
There’s only one quality to start this dating journey. The one quality you need to attract ladies & get into a relationship is feeling good and confident about your life currently. It is necessary to live a secure or stable life.
You don’t have to be perfect
Know that none of us are perfect. It’s unrealistic to be 100% always healthy. It’s really about is being aware of yourself. What are your triggers? What are things that make you incredibly upset? If you’re aware of it, you can start working on it. By being aware and working on it, you can help your partner understand you. I can’t tell you how many relationships I’ve seen when I used to work with couples where the person wasn’t even aware of themselves. So how can a partner help? This issue just dug them into a hole, into a spiral, that they could never get out of and it becomes a very unhealthy relationship.
In conclusion, I’m not saying you have to be perfect. You don’t have to have the best job or have to be the wealthiest. You also don’t have to be a seeing a therapist all the time to make sure you’re always healthy. It’s not about that. It’s being aware of yourself, knowing your own triggers, and knowing your obstacles that you’re facing. being aware of it, and knowing how you move forward. And then, that’s when you’re ready to find someone.
If you realize, after reading this, you’re not stable or secure, it’s not a dead end. I suggest to focus on yourself, take a break from my advice and posts, I don’t mind, and work on yourself grow. And once you are ready, come back! You’ll be ready because you’ll have the only one quality you need to attract ladies & get into a relationship.