This topic is about “what to do after you’ve been ghosted”. I’ve already talked about why she’s ghosted. I’ve also talked about the text that you send when you feel she’s going to ghost. Make sure you read those blogs before you read this one!
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Let it go and Accept
If you did send that text, that check-in text that I suggested in that video, and she never responds, that’s an official ghost. What to do now? Well, you let it go and you accept. I know, it’s really easy at this point to think, “Ruby, I thought I’m joining this video, so that you can teach me some new strategy of how to get her to stop ghosting.” No, I’m sorry. It’s not, because the truth of the matter is, she decided that the level of interest she hasn’t either you or dating is not high enough to answer a simple check-in message.
What were you hoping to do? Lure her back in with many texts? That’s not going to work. It does not happen. I’ve seen it where men would text a woman frequently every month or every year, and hoping she just responds but normally, she doesn’t. If anything, she blocks you and is more fearful, so you don’t want to do that.
At the end of the day, if she actually was really interested in you, but something happened in her life where she just did not respond to anybody, she will come back on her own. If that level of interest is there, she will text you again in the future and say her reason for disappearing. She will come back if she’s truly interested, but do you really want to force yourself into someone’s life and make her like you? That’s not very healthy, and I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t want that for yourself either.
Accept it Happened
If she has officially ghosted you, after that check-in text, she never just responds again, the first thing to do is to get a practice to accept and let it go.
Acceptance doesn’t mean you have to agree with the behavior. You’re not validating it. You’re not condoning it, you’re just saying, it happened. Acceptance is taking things for what it is.
When an event has happened, it happened. There’s nothing you can do about it. It’s already there, it’s all you can do is just accept. It’s about what you do with that after.
The first step to what to do after you’ve been ghosted is to learn how to let things go and to accept them. Then, the second thing is to, do not put the blame on someone else. There’s no healthy habit of doing that. There’s nothing good that comes from blaming all women, and saying that, “All women do is to play men and they just like to ghost.” Come on. I’m pretty sure you know that is not true. I’m pretty sure you know females in your own life that just don’t go out there and try to ghost men. It’s just exhausting, quite honestly, to do that.
Learn from Experience
Even if you’ve had that experience in your life so far, that doesn’t mean you can generalize all women to be like that. It’s not healthy. It’s not. The same thing goes for blaming online dating, and saying that all people do online is ghosts, which is not true. It may be true in your experience, but overall of the platforms and everyone who’s online dating? No. Actually, that leads into the third part of this, which is
making sure that you do not allow that experience to carry with you throughout the rest of your dating journey.
I’ve seen way too many times where someone is so frustrated over ghosting that when they go on the next date, they’re already predicting that this woman will ghost and because they had that mindset, they ruin the date. They self-sabotage themselves. It’s not her. They’ve already set themselves up to be ghosted or rejected.
Take Back the Power
My third point here is to take the power back. Do not put so much power into her behavior and everything she has done to you, and allow her to make you feel this way and ruin all your other chances.
Take the power back and recognize that you only control yourself. Look within to figure out what you can do next.
Ask yourself why, because there are so many factors into why women ghost you. If it’s happened consistently and frequently, that’s something to reflect because the common factor here is you. It’s not the women. These are different women, and every woman is different.
When the common factor is you, all you would have to do is reflect inward and think, “Okay, how am I expressing myself? What am I messaging here? Am I even allowing them to be curious? What am I saying that might scare them off or might just not be that interesting to many people?” Really reflect on how your attitude even plays off. It comes through. I mean it when I say men don’t see it. But when you’ve been jaded by your experiences. Then you carry on to messengers and dates, women can tell. There are slight things you may say that seem negative, and that’s the biggest thing. Do not allow it to get to your mindset. Because of a negative mindset and self-sabotaging, that will not get you success at the end of the day.
Don’t blame anyone
Make sure to accept to let go, to not put the blame. Once again to just look within and see what you can do. If you don’t know what you’re doing wrong, join my free Facebook group if you’re not already in there. It’s free. I’m in there, I go on Facebook Lives and answer those questions for you. If there’s a pattern, let me see, I will help. There are resources out there if you just don’t know what to do. Join that Facebook group if you’re not in it.
Make a plan on how you’re going to handle ghosting from now on. How you’re going to commit yourself to practice letting go and acceptance. Maybe you can do journaling, reaching out and talking to a friend, seeking out therapists, or even running. How are you going to practice that? Follow through with an action plan, making sure that you don’t let it get to you and allow you to make it so negative. Because that’s how you make progress when you commit yourself to plans.
I hope this blog topic enlightened you, I know ghosting sucks. It really does. But at least, I can count on you to not ghost other women, because you know how it feels. Once again, get the power back and continue in this dating journey and find ways to improve, and then you’ll get it.