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The purpose of this image is to convey the essence of connection and understanding in dating, which is central to the concept of dating mindset shifts. It reminds us that cultivating a positive mindset is essential for building strong connections.

3 dating mindset shifts to get success

October 1, 2024 //  by Ruby

Let’s go over the 3 big dating mindset shifts that will help get you dating success. These shifts can be utilized for any other area in your life. Honestly, I was inspired to come up with this blog because I recently fractured my arm.

As I was adjusting and going through the pains of what happened, I realized that I was using a lot of mindset shifts that I was telling my clients all the time. So, I got inspired to do this blog, and I hope it will help you, not just in dating, but in other areas.

“Is there no girl out there for me?”
That’s what they feared…
Good-hearted men worried, doubted and almost gave up until they’ve read this proven 5-Step Plan:
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Because your dating mindset is really important, it’s what really drives you to success in any area of your life. I hope this really stands out to you, and I hope you practice the tools given. It’s one of those undercover barriers that we don’t recognize or pay attention to, or even acknowledge a lot of the times, but that is the one thing that will create progress for you.

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What Are Mindset Shifts?

This ebook has the ultimate plan for every good-intentioned man to find his true love, no matter the previous failures
Download your free ebook here: 5-steps to Quality Dates
Cherish this eBook: it contains more than a decade of proven wisdom from my vast experience with single men as a couples therapist, matchmaker, coach and previous eHarmony lead.

Mindset shifts in dating are about changing the way you approach relationships and interactions with potential partners. Instead of focusing on finding “the one” or worrying about rejection, it’s about shifting your perspective to embrace personal growth, self-worth, and open-mindedness. These shifts can help you break free from old patterns, boost your confidence, and make dating feel less stressful and more enjoyable. It’s not about changing who you are but evolving your thoughts so you can attract healthier, more fulfilling connections.

How to Create a Mindset Shift?

The purpose of the image is to illustrate how technology, like online dating, can influence our interactions and perceptions of relationships. It connects with the idea of "How to Create a Mindset Shift?" by showing how embracing new approaches, like online platforms, can change traditional ways of meeting people, encouraging a shift in how relationships are formed today.

Focus on what you can control

The first of the dating mindset shifts is to focus on what you can control. Remember, that you have control, that’s all we can really do. It’s very easy to go into a negative spiral when we feel we’ve lost control and when we ask all these sorts of questions, and we don’t realize that we’re not even doing anything. The only way we can do something is to remember and ask ourselves,

“What do I have control over?”

“What can I do right now that will help me move a little bit forward in the direction I want to go to?”

Especially in dating, when you have another person involved, it’s very easy to get sucked into only thinking of what that other person might be thinking, why that person would do this. At the end of the day, we can’t control them. All we can control is ourselves, our own feelings, our own reactions, our own behaviors.

Remember, it’s the number one dating mindset shift, “What do you have control over?” I didn’t have control over two fractures in my arms. So, what can I do now to make sure that I continue forward in my everyday life this year? Because to sulk and to blame and to be negative about what just happened isn’t going to help anybody. Only focus on what you have control over and only do that.

Ask yourself the right questions

It leads to the second of the dating mindset shifts, which is…ask yourself the right questions, knowing that you have the answer. Let me explain that a little bit. Once again, relating and relaying off of what I just said, it’s really easy to question the other lady, be confused about what you want, be indecisive about that. What happens is you start making a lot of statements, “Women are awful.” “Women always just don’t respond like this.” “I don’t know, I don’t know any of this.” “I don’t know the answer.” “I’m just confused.” You’re making all these statements. What that doesn’t do is help you be productive and take action to actually get your answer. A lot of it is because you feel like you don’t know the answer.

A shift there is ask yourself the right questions. Instead of making these blank statements and instead of saying, “I don’t know,” really think to yourself and allow yourself to have the space to know. If you think about it, if you keep saying, “I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know,” do you really think that’s going to help you get an answer? It’s not. It just narrows down the potential of you even believing in yourself to find that answer. When you sit back and just think, “Okay, wait, I can find my answer. I can find it.” If it’s a question about yourself, like what you want, or you’re confused on what you should do, you know the answer. No one knows you better than yourself. You know the answer.

What Happens When You Shift Your Mindset?

This image could perfectly illustrate the concept of personal growth and mental breakthroughs. It aligns with the idea of "What Happens When You Shift Your Mindset?"—that moment when everything clicks, and you suddenly see new opportunities, solutions, or approaches to challenges that seemed insurmountable before.

The moment you shift your language into thinking, “I know the answer, so let me think about it,” you’ll realize all these possibilities start opening up in your mind. You’ll start to realize, “Okay, let me ask myself the right kind of questions. What do I want? What is it that I’m looking for here? Why does it hurt me so much? What can I do?” Back to the control concept… “What can I do to help myself here and make sure that doesn’t happen again?” Then, if you’re asking yourself, “Why does it take so long to respond?” “Why are women so materialistic?” know you can get your answer. How? By asking her.

I get so many questions about what women think, what women mean, what that woman you’re dating really means by her actions, and I keep repeating the same answer, which is, “I don’t really know.” I can maybe draw up some conclusions, but once again, that’s an assumption because I don’t know her. The only way you can get your answer is by asking her. How to ask, because that’s really important, that’s in another blog. For mindset shift-wise, just remember, stop making those statements that don’t get you anywhere. Ask the right questions to get your answer and then take action to get your answer and know it’s okay to do so.

Struggling with self-sabotage, negativity, overthinking, or low self-esteem? Get your step-by-step answers on how to stop that to get success below
View the dating mindset course here

Embrace Reframing

The third of the dating mindset shifts is… it’s really important to practice reframing. Reframing is a shifting of a perspective of a situation. This is really, really big, because we give ourselves a narrative. We actually create the narratives of everything in our lives. When a situation happens, it is under our control to define it, or to drag us down for the rest of our life, or build us up and make us resilient, is our power. The only way that we actually create that for ourselves is when we look at it in another perspective, if it was negative.

If you’re putting negativity on online dating, because you tried it once, and it didn’t work, and then you say online dating sucks, or online dating is full of scammers, I challenge you to take those negative beliefs and give it another perspective. I’m not asking you to be positive or optimistic. It’s literally about seeing reality in another point of view. That’s realizing that online dating did not work in that one experience you had. What is it that you have control over? What is it that you can do to make it better? Try again. That one experience is not an absolute truth.

Making something an absolute truth is something to be careful of. “Oh, all women are materialistic.” I’m pretty sure if you actually say those things out loud, you know it is not the absolute truth, because you don’t know all women out there. That’s also saying your sister, your mother, your friend’s wife who seems a great person, they’re all materialistic. They’re all awful people that you can’t trust. I’m pretty sure you know, it’s just not the case. Reframing is so important because it allows you to just see there is another story here that I don’t know. Realizing that there is another story you don’t know, challenges you to get your answer, making this one of the biggest dating mindset shifts. That’s all we can do

Why are mindset shifts important?

The purpose of the image is to represent the idea of cultivating growth—whether it’s a plant or your own personal development. It illustrates why mindset shifts are important. Just like tending to a plant helps it grow and thrive, shifting your mindset allows you to nurture your own growth, unlocking potential and leading to new possibilities in life.

Mindset shifts are crucial, especially when it comes to dating. We often carry old patterns and beliefs into our relationships, which can hold us back from finding genuine connection and happiness. By making intentional changes in the way we approach dating, we can open ourselves up to new possibilities, healthier dynamics, and a deeper understanding of ourselves. It’s not just about changing how we think, but also about letting go of limiting beliefs and embracing growth.

Those are the three dating mindset shifts! I hope they’re really helpful. Once again, they can be used for other areas in your life. I definitely use that as I’m trying to adjust to this fractured arm.  I’m remembering what I have control over. Always trying to ask the right questions to me when I feel really stuck, and I’m trying to reframe it. I’m not trying to sulk on this and be mad about it. It happened. I’m seeing all the great things it’s showing me, like mindfulness, and being grateful for limbs that we have that we don’t even look at every day. Know that these are really important, and I hope you really take it to heart, really reflect on yourself, and really start shifting your mindset.

You need the right attitude and the ability to talk to women to succeed in dating.  Click here to guide you to reframe your mindset. 

Category: MindsetTag: Dating advice, Dating mindset shifts, Dating success, Mindset transformation, Positive mindset

Previous Post: «The image shows someone using a dating app, browsing through profiles with options to like or dismiss them. It represents modern online dating, where users decide whether to pursue or end communication. his connects to the question many people have: "How do I know if I should continue dating?" as they navigate these profiles and evaluate potential partners. When to give up on dating & finding love
Next Post: Is she being friendly or flirty? The woman and man's body language—leaning slightly toward each other and maintaining eye contact—creates a lighthearted atmosphere that raises the question: "Are they flirting or being friendly?" Their smiles and relaxed demeanor hint at a possible connection, making it hard to determine if it's just friendly banter or something more.»

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