I am going to go over “the first 3 things women notice about you”. This is more for those specific situations of when you’re meeting someone you met through dating apps. This is the first time you’re meeting in person. And obviously, “the first five minutes really matter and sets the tone for the rest of the date”. You can also start to see if there’s interest there or not. If you’ve ever had a date where you meet her and you feel like she isn’t as excited after the first five minutes, well, read the rest of this blog and see if you feel you’re doing your best at every level. If you are, then that just means for whatever reason, she’s just decided already that this wouldn’t be a good fit, and that’s okay. But as long as you feel you are doing these three things.
“Is there no girl out there for me?”
That’s what they feared…
Good-hearted men worried, doubted and almost gave up until they’ve read this proven 5-Step Plan:
Download your free ebook here: 5-steps to Quality Dates
Your Smile & Your Tone
The first thing that women notice about you is, of course, in that introduction, when you first see each other, what do you think she would see? Well, your smile, but also your tone. Because the first thing you’re saying to her is, “Hey, Sarah. Hey, it’s nice to meet you. Yeah, I’m Ruby. Oh, my gosh, meeting in person.” What you want to make sure you do is, number one, making sure you are making it a purpose to smile.
This ebook has the ultimate plan for every good-intentioned man to find his true love, no matter the previous failures
Download your free ebook here: 5-steps to Quality Dates
Cherish this eBook: it contains more than a decade of proven wisdom from my vast experience with single men as a couples therapist, matchmaker, coach and previous eHarmony lead.
I feel many of my guys are so used to working that they don’t look at themselves in the mirror and see if they’re doing a simple introduction, are they actually fully smiling, or are they just a bit more stoic? It’s really easy. Just like, “Hey, nice to meet you.” Did you see that difference in my tone? There is a difference between what I first did and what I just did right there.
There’s two things that make a very strong introduction, which is, like I said, making sure that smile is there. You are lit up and excited to meet her, because many times people will mirror you. If you already introduced yourself in that kind of exciting way with a smile and your tone is more projected and excited, she’ll feel that and she’ll mirror it. So, making sure the smile is there, number one. Every woman likes a man with a nice smile. It’s important to show that.
But number two, the tone of it. Are you sounding excited? Making sure that when you do an introduction, go in for the hug. You’re already inviting her into this space. Now, if she’s awkward about the hug and she gives the one arm hug, you can say, “Oh, sorry, was that awkward? Sorry, I’m just a hugger.” Own it. Own the awkwardness and it’ll work out. All right.
What You Wear is Important
Number two is what you’re wearing. Pretty sure no surprise here for you, guys, what you’re wearing first day says a lot about you. But making sure that your dress and how your outfit is appropriate for the environment. But the main thing here is to make sure that you’re actually showing you put effort. You put effort into doing your hair or making sure your shirt doesn’t have wrinkles. You’re putting an effort for this date.
The way you dress and how you present yourself is incredibly important. Because every lady wants to know that you take care of yourself. I’m pretty sure for you too, when you meet a woman, you will like to think that she is groomed, did her hair, at least is wearing something that you feel like, “Oh, she didn’t just wake up and roll out of bed.” That’s what is important from a woman’s perspective as well.
If you have issues or you’re unsure of what looks good on you, or style, or presentation, well, then seek a consult for that. Because obviously, I’m not a man that knows a lot of men’s clothes. I’m just a woman who can see if it looks good on you or not, or if you put effort into that, making sure that you know what looks good to you, what’s fitted, and you feel confident what you’re wearing, the most important thing that you feel good and all of that. So, that’s number two, your dress.
They Can Feel Your Energy
Number three is your energy. Now, I know that sounds a little woo-woo, but I kid you not women can feel, can feel your energy. If you’re incredibly nervous and insecure, we can feel it. If you’ve been burned and hurt and you’re coming out at this date not feeling so hopeful, because you’re self-sabotaging or you’re feeling a little bit negative, we can feel it. My suggestion is to always make sure before a date, you get yourself in that right mindset to be excited, to connect with this new person, and see how it goes.
To make sure, if there’s anything ever weighing you down, you’ve worked on it and you’ve let it go. Women can sense from your eyes at times. The way you look at her and the way you speak about yourself, we can see it. Many times, you don’t even realize the short, sly comments you may make about dating or about you that alert a woman that you may not be in a good place right now.
What creates energy? It’s how you approach dating, how you speak, it’s your eye contact, your hands, and your animation, it’s the way you dress. It’s everything that I just said, but the two steps before this as well. But it really is important to look at yourself and the way you speak and see if you feel you’re exuding confidence and you feel good at what you’re saying, that you don’t feel insecure about talking about anything in the areas in your life.
It’s really important to make sure you’re at a good space and do what you need to get there. Whether that be getting a dating coach like me, or you have a counselor, or therapist that helps you process a lot of things, or you’re making sure you have a balanced lifestyle, you’re being healthy, you work out, you feel good about yourself, all of those things matter.
It’s hard to see as a man, but as a woman, myself, who has been single and dated, it’s interesting how I can just sense from the way someone is speaking to me, and sometimes, not the exact words but you can feel when someone’s just not fully there. So, make sure you work on yourself, make sure you look at yourself in the mirror and see how you come off. And then, once you feel really confident in that and yourself, all those three points, that’s you doing your best in this good impression, and then at the end of the day, it’s up to her to decide if she would feel you guys are a good fit or not.
What To Focus On
That’s it1 Those are the three things to look out for and to work on. Just reflect on yourself, on your introductions, are you smiling, what’s your tone, the way you dress and ask yourself, “What energy am I giving off?” If you’re unsure about the energy you’re giving off, maybe meet some new strangers at a meetup and ask them for their feedback. You can’t ask your friends or family, because they know you really well. There’s only a certain percentage of that. But try things out and see if you can figure out what’s going on.
If you haven’t dating around for a while or if you struggle with self-confidence, dating can be challenging. Click here for some ways to boost your confidence