3 ways to not come off as a creep

“Defining ‘creepiness’ can be quite elusive, but we all know it when we see it, am I right?” With so much uncertainty in the world, it’s hard to know what’s a real danger and what’s just a harmless scare. If you’re looking to avoid coming off as creepy to others, it’s crucial to stay self-aware and in tune with social norms.

But remember, there’s a fine line between being unique and being seen as creepy. Stay true to yourself, but always be aware of how others perceive you.

Do you know how I know you’re a good guy? Because you don’t want to be a creep to someone you like. Though some of you may be aware of how easily you can come across as a creep. Because I hear from many of you, all the time, saying one of the below….

I want to message her…talk to her….

BUT…

I don’t want to be a creep.

And trust me, that is a rightfully so concern…

Because, yes you’re right, women don’t want a creep to approach them either.

What is a creep exactly?

How do you make sure you’re NOT being a creep?

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How to not be a creep…

Please don’t get it mixed up with what others have said and movies have portrayed…

The quiet, shy, guy with glasses lurking in the dark in the background, who out-of-the-blue slurs “so so so …what are you doing?” (haha…)

No. Don’t listen to that.

Not to be creepy meaning

Here’s what you may have missed, the important question you haven’t asked…

How does someone get that unsettling or unsafe feeling?

The answer….

When you feel, even slightly, in danger.

But, if you think about it, you only feel in danger when you are uncertain about what’s going on and what’s going to happen.

Imagine when you hear an unexpected sound in the middle of the night…

It’s dark, you’re not sure where the sound is coming from, or how that happened…worse, you don’t know what will happen next.

It’s unsettling.

Take this in the dating scene. How can a man be a creep to a woman?

When he’s not giving her a reason to approach/talk to her, when he’s not providing a safe environment, and crossing personal boundaries by uninvited & irrelevant questions.

What makes a guy a creep

First and foremost, you should know if you’re a creep.

Are you? I’m pretty sure your answer is a no.

First, If you want to avoid being perceived as a creep, it is very important to be aware of yourself, look your best and you have to be confident that you’re not a creep.

If you’re being respectful, not getting too personal too fast, simply interested, and wanting to strike up a conversation, avoiding talking about things that others find disturbing…you’re doing the best you can.

If you feel uncertain and doubtful, she’ll feel that because energy is contagious.

Make sure you got that clear first!

Now, it’s about the receiver.

Let’s make sure we prevent, to the best we can, the retrieval of feeling like you’re a creep.

But, before we get into that, I want for you to remember that…

If you do all that you can do, did your best, and know you’re not a creep…then it’s not your fault. It’s about the receiver. We can not control what that person has gone through in the past (maybe she had horrible experiences with men), which creates trust issues with all men, or how her day was going previously to react the way she did to you. Whatever the result may be, do NOT take it personally.

Anyways, onward to…

How not to be a creepy guy

1. Give a reason for the message/approach.

   • It’ll help her understand the what.
   • This why throwing out compliments about appearance can be off-putting, she’s wonder to herself “…okay, do you think I’m pretty….what do you want?….”

2. Ask a relevant and open question.

   • It’ll help her understand the why and what will happen next.
   • This will invite her into the conversation and allow her to connect with you.

3. Give some information about yourself.

   • It’ll help her understand the who and provides a safe environment.
   • This is the most important part! Most men forget this, stating anything about themselves. Even if you decide to be direct with “I was drawn to you, and just wanted to talk to you,” that is better than “Hi. How are you?” — she’d wonder why you are approaching her.
   • Being able to be bold and confidently state your intent is an attractive trait to ladies

Let’s present we’re in a grocery store. A great approach statement is:

Hi, you look like you know what you’re doing. I’m wondering, how do you know if it’s ripe? I’m trying to make guacamole this weekend

It’s all about, to the best of your abilities, providing a safe space to cultivate an organic connection.

But let’s back up — before any of that, the most important step is actually getting you to do the action itself

How to Not Be a Creeper

Push yourself to get out there.

Recognize what’s stopping you, find ways how to work on it and if it’s the fear of coming off as a creep — hopefully, that’s solved now!

Other fears? try to take in everything from this lesson and apply to it those fears.

Are you putting too much weight into what others think? Then, figure out how to lessen that weight or might as well let it be, what others think about you is none of your business.

I want to leave you with this…as long as you remember, if you’re being respectful, you’re providing all that I’ve stated above to help her feel comfortable & safe, then you’ve done the best you can.

You can learn more about the details through my posts, products, and emails. But, once again, it is about getting out there and trying.