Do you know how I know you’re a good guy? Because you don’t want to be a creep to someone you like.
Because I hear from many of you, all the time, saying one of the below….
I want to message her…talk to her….
I don’t want to be a creep.
And trust me, that is a rightfully-so concern…
Because, yes you’re right, women don’t want a creep to approach them either.
What is a creep exactly?
How do you make sure you’re NOT being a creep?
You can watch my Youtube below:
How to not be a creep…
Please don’t get it mixed up with what others have said and movies have portrayed…
The quiet, shy, guy with glasses lurking in the dark in the background, who out-of-the-blue slurs “so so so …what are you doing?” (haha…)
No. Don’t listen to that.
What is a creep?
When one is mysteriously watching and observing without the invite and unnoticeable by the receiver, crossing personal boundaries, and most importantly (here’s the key) makes a person feel unsettled and unsafe.
Here’s what you may have missed, the important question you haven’t asked…
How does someone get that unsettling or unsafe feeling?
When you feel, even slightly, in danger.
But, if you think about it, you only feel in danger when you are uncertain about what’s going on and what’s going to happen.
Imagine when you hear an unexpected sound in the middle of the night…
It’s dark, you’re not sure where the sound is coming from, or how that happened…worse, you don’t know what will happen next.
Take this in the dating scene. How can a man be a creep to a woman?
When he’s not giving her a reason to approach/talk to her, when he’s not providing a safe environment, and crossing personal boundaries by uninvited & irrelevant questions.
First and fore most, you should know if you’re a creep.
Are you? I’m pretty sure your answer is a no.
You have to be, first, confident that you’re not a creep.
If you’re being respectful, simply interested, and wanting to strike up a conversation…you’re doing the best you can.
If you feel uncertain and doubtful, she’ll feel that.
Make sure you got that clear first!
Now, it’s about the receiver.
Let’s make sure we prevent, to the best we can, the retrieval of feeling like you’re a creep.
But, before we get into that, I want for you to remember that…
If you do all that you can do, did you best, and know you’re not a creep…then it’s not your fault. It’s about the receiver. We can not control what that person has gone through in the past (maybe she had horrible experiences with men), or how her day was going previously to react the way she did to you. Whatever the result may be, do NOT take it personal.
Anyways, onward to…
How you can make sure you don’t come off as a creep:
Give a reason for the message/approach.
- It’ll help her understand the what.
- This why throwing out compliments about appearance can be off-putting, she’s wonder to herself “…okay, so you think I’m pretty….what do you want?….”
Ask a relevant and open question.
- It’ll help her understand the why and what will happen next.
- This will invite her into the conversation and allow her to connect with you.
Give some information about yourself.
- It’ll help her understand the who and provides a safe environment.
- This is the most important part! Most men forget this, stating anything about themselves. Even if you decide to be direct with “I was drawn to you, and just wanted to talk to you,” that is better than “Hi. How are you?” — she’d wonder why you are approaching her.
- Being able to be bold and confidently state your intent is an attractive trait to ladies
Let’s present we’re in a grocery store. A great approach statement is:
Hi, you look like you know what you’re doing. I’m wondering, how do you know if it’s ripe? I’m trying to make guacamole this weekend
It’s all about, to the best of you abilities, providing a safe space to cultivate an organic connection.
But let’s back up — before any of that, the most important step is actually getting you to do the action itself
Push yourself to get out there.
Recognize what’s stopping you and if it’s the fear of coming off as a creep — hopefully that’s solved now!
Other fears? try to take in everything from this lesson and apply to it those fears.
Are you putting too much weight into what others think? Then, figure out how to lessen that weight.
To truly overcome these mindset obstacles, it’s important to learn the one big tool to get your own mind out of your way. Find out how to gain the champ mindset so you can successfully date.
Learn more here
I want to leave you with this…as long as you remember, if you’re being respectful, you’re providing all that I’ve stated above to help her feel comfortable & safe, then you’ve done the best you can.
You can learn more about the details through my posts, products, and emails. But, once again, it is about getting out there and trying.