Confidence vs Cockiness: Which are you?

I’m going to be going over the difference between cockiness and confidence. It’s a true concern my clients have in potentially seeming cocky, arrogant, and too much into himself. It’s not a good look. But at the same time, I’m pretty sure you’re aware being confident is really important in attraction and dating. So, where’s the line? What’s the difference? I’ll be going over that today so that you don’t cross the line.

Subscribe to my channel to get new dating advice every week.

 

Like I say in most of my posts, I’m not going to be going over a list of signs that may make you appear cocky or arrogant. Because it’s not about that. It’s about the cause of it, the root of this, the foundation of it, and once you understand that, then you won’t even have these behaviors happen, and you don’t have to worry about watching what you say.  As I said, if you’ve been reading my blogs, you know that I like to go to the root cause of this. And many times, like this, it’s a mindset. So, let’s talk about the difference. First, let’s talk about confidence.

Confident men don’t seek approval

 

Someone who is confident is someone who doesn’t seek approval from another person. They fully accept who they are. That doesn’t mean you’re perfect. No one’s perfect, but accepting that you know who you are and you are confident in your journey, and your life, what you have to give to someone. Confidence is someone who is going to share and doesn’t mind sharing about who they are and their strengths and their weaknesses, because they want you to get to know them.

So, being confident really is just making sure that you’re sure of yourself. You know what you have to offer. It doesn’t mean that you’re completely full of yourself. No. You are a person. You are a human being that has had a life journey. If you don’t share anything about yourself, how is a woman going to know anything about you? How is she going to be attracted to you, if you don’t share anything?

 

The biggest worry of most men

I feel the biggest worry when I tell my clients to share more about themselves and to share more of their attractive traits or their strengths, they’re afraid that if they talk about themselves, they might appear as cocky. But once again, it’s not about talking about yourself that makes you cocky. I’ll get into cocky just in a second. But confidence and being able to share these things about yourself, it is crucial to any connection with anybody, not even just a romantic connection.

I think when we make friends, I think you make the right friends when you know who you are and you’re willing to share who you are and your values and you’ll see if you have a good friendship connection. So, that is confidence. Do not be afraid to talk about yourself and to share about yourself, especially when she asks. Even if it’s a good back and forth and she’s not directly asking questions, and you want to say, “Oh, I totally get you, let me share this story. This one time I–” That’s totally fine.

 

What is cockiness

 

What’s the difference, really? Well, it’s about how you look at the other person, and when you are speaking, what is the intent? Cockiness is someone who is speaking, not because they have the intent to share and want to gain a connection, but because they are trying to prove themselves. They are trying to one-up you. They’re trying to show that they are better. Cocky people come from a place of making sure they’re on top and that they’re proving to you that once again, they’re better than you or the world, and everybody else around them. That’s cockiness.

Reflect. I’m pretty sure most people have come across a cocky person in their life. That could be a colleague, your boss, your family member, or a friend. Really think about that. How have you seen cockiness or someone who is too much of their selves or arrogant? It’s because you can feel it. Like when they’re speaking, they’re either speaking over you,e trying to once again, almost like to prove that “You are less.”  “You don’t have a cool life as I do.” “You don’t have a great career as me.” “You haven’t traveled as much as me. Look at all these places that I’ve traveled to.” You can tell.

 

The root cause of cockiness

That’s why I say, at the end of the day, it’s about the foundation and root of this. If you’re a cocky person, it will come out. You just are. Most of my guys and most of you who are reading this, who are the good-intentioned gentlemen, it’s so interesting how that’s a worry for them, but I think that even if I wanted you to be cocky and talk about yourself in that way, you’re just not going to do it. You’re just not.

It’s mostly coming from a place of just being worried that my guys are talking too much about themselves and appearing this way. They can wonder if talking as such is annoying. Don’t worry about that. Remember, the ladies want to know. The ladies want to know more about you. That’s how you gain a connection. That’s how you see if someone’s right for you. Quite honestly, at the end of the day, if you’re sharing something about yourself and she realizes you’re not a good match, you are not a good match. I don’t know how, but if she may think you’re cocky and you know you’re not, you know that wasn’t the intent, then you’re good. That’s what matters.

 

Know the intent of the conversation

Ask yourself, what is the intent of these conversations when you’re sharing about yourself? Are you really sharing because you want to share and you want to continue to get to know each other or are you actually sharing because you want to show her that you’re better and you’re above her? It’s just all about perspective and how you see this person and this lady that you’re dating. That is it.

So, guys, go out there, be confident, share your journey, and talk about yourself. Just know, I’m pretty sure you’re not cocky. If you’re reading this and you realize maybe you are, then that’s something to work on and to peel back and to realize why you come from that place and why you look at people that way.