Let’s talk about COVID conversations because it is an important discussion to have because we need to acknowledge that the pandemic is happening and realize that not everyone thinks like you. It is important to make sure that you guys are on the same page. That way, you’re not accidentally crossing boundaries, and then making both of you super uncomfortable. So, let’s make sure we know how to handle that.
Have trouble getting dates? Download your free 5-steps to quality dates ebook below
Get your free ebook here
Get my dating secrets gathered from over a decade of being in the field (as a couples therapist, matchmaker, coach, and previous work as an eHarmony lead).
Understanding is Key
The first thing I want to talk about is handling the COVID conversation itself. It’s really important to remember, try to understand first before you react and respond. Come into the COVID conversation with trying to understand her perspective on this, and recognize that everyone does have differing values and beliefs in this area and that it’s okay for people to have different views from you. It’s just about you deciding how comfortable you are with that if you can make it work, and if you want to move forward. That is it. It’s just like when people share they have different religious beliefs from you. You’re not going to judge them, I would hope, and then try to all of a sudden tell them how their religious beliefs are not right. That’s not very nice 🙂 You just decide that if it’s at a level that’s comfortable for you to date them or you realize it’s not.
It’s the same thing with COVID. There are so many people, when it comes to the COVID conversation, they are ready to attack and prove someone wrong because they want to prove themselves right. If you feel that you need someone else to be wrong for you to be right, that’s not right. Remembering that when you are handling any sort of COVID conversation, once again, understand first, then you can share your beliefs, and then if you realize it’s not going to work, it’s not aligned with you, then move forward. You don’t want to waste anyone’s time. That’s why these conversations are important to have. That’s just handling the conversation itself and remembering that intent.
When you talk about COVID during dates
When you first transition to your first date
Let’s talk about when these COVID conversations happen so that way you’re not crossing boundaries and making anyone uncomfortable by assuming certain things. The first moment when these COVID conversations pop up is when you transition to date. It could be a video date, it could be an in-person date, whichever it is. This is when it’s important to ask her what she’s comfortable with. Let’s say you’re comfortable with an in-person date, but you don’t know if she is. It’s important to acknowledge that you want to transition with her out of texting, but is she open with a video date? Or, “I’m open to getting coffee with you as well. What are you comfortable with?” It’s that simple. It’s just saying, “I want to get us out of texting, I want to connect with you more, but I’m curious, are you open to a video call or I’m open to just taking a walk as well if you’re open to that.” Allow her to share with you what she’s comfortable with, and then you take it from there.
Asking for the second date
The second moment this comes up is if she chooses to do a video call. At the end of the video call, you realize you do like her and you want to continue dating her, you want to meet up with her in-person eventually. It’s important to ask,
“I’m just curious, what are you comfortable with? Are you wanting to just keep doing these video calls until someone is vaccinated or until this is all over, or are you open to seeing each other in person eventually?”
Maybe that’s when she’ll tell you, “I just want to build more trust and rapport until that is until I’m comfortable.” You get to decide if the way that dating is potentially moving forward is aligned with you, or you are not going to do video calls for months and months until this is over. That’s when you can decide from there if you’re on the same page or not.
Respect Social Distancing Boundaries
The next time these COVID conversations come up is during an in-person date. It could be the first in-person date or it could be your third date, the other two were video calls, whichever it is, you’re seeing each other in-person. This is where you’re really seeing if the person is keeping themselves distance or they’re wearing a mask the whole entire time, it is a greater opportunity during this moment to have that conversation to see what their beliefs are on all of this. It comes up more when you want to give them a hug when you want to hold her hand when you want to put your arm over her shoulder. How do you handle those moments when you want to actually be physically close? You don’t want to just go in for the hug or for the kiss, that could be uncomfortable for someone. What if it’s really just about how she feels unsafe during these COVID times?
An appropriate way to handle
The appropriate way to handle that is by making a statement playfully, that you do want to hold her hand but asking if that is okay. This is a time where asking for permission is okay, you don’t go for it. Playfully, what do I mean by that? It’s simply by stating, “I want to give you a hug right now, but is that okay? Did we build that trust enough yet?” It’s a playful kind of thing, instead of something so serious. At that point, she would answer something like “That’s fine,” and then she’ll give you a hug. Or, “I’m sorry, I’m not quite comfortable yet.” If she says so, that allows you to lead a discussion of, “Is it because of COVID?” Or, is it because she’s just slower to warm up a person physically, so either way.
Again, make it playful when you ask for permission. Sometimes it’s a little odd to ask for permission, but is it weird during this time? Absolutely not. She knows that you’re just caring and just want to make sure you’re not stepping over boundaries.
That’s the talk of COVID conversations. I hope that helps you handle this weird time dating during this whole thing. Again, it’s important to acknowledge, and that way you two can move through dating smoothly without things getting super awkward.
Get out there and continue dating! It’s obviously still possible.
Wondering how to keep the conversation going?
Click here to learn how