Today’s topic is all about answering the question, “How much eye contact you should have with a girl?” On dates, it’s normal to wonder, can you look away? Or, do you have to look at her the whole time, but then you feel really awkward about it? Well, let’s talk about that.
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Choose Dates Without So Much Pressure
The first thing I want to talk about in regards to eye contact is you can choose a date that allows you to not feel so much pressure to make eye contact. For most people, quite honestly, if you’re just meeting someone, you’re just getting to know another person, it is awkward. When you have to sit across from each other and just look at each other…It’s like an interrogation, it’s like an interview, but you don’t want it to feel that way. Read my blog about first dates, and the best kind of first dates to have that will allow people to organically get to know each other without feeling that pressure.
Set up the Environment
A way that alleviates the pressure of eye contact is by making sure you have a date that allows you to walk, sit on a bench, be at a barstool next to each other (check out best outdoor dates here). Because that way, let’s say you’re walking, you only really have to look at each other for certain topics, and then you’ll look away and it’s natural to do that. Same thing as when you’re sitting next to each other at a bench, at a barstool, if you’re sitting at a coffee shop, and she sits across from you, just scoot your chair over to 90 degrees, so at least you can be next to her.
That way, there is no real pressure to keep eye contact. It allows that comfortable feeling to come in because now you’re not feeling this pressure of date and having to look at each other as you get to know each other.
It makes both people just more nervous, and it feels really odd when you’re just starting. The first thing to help with eye contact is all about you setting up the environment and know that you have control over that. If you feel the eye contact is too much, because you just sat down and you have coffee, get up and try to walk around with her, and it will become easier that way and be more natural.
Be Natural and Don’t Stare All the Time
The next thing I want to talk about in regards to eye contact, I think you guys know this, of course, it’s way too odd to just stare. Just stare with your eyes wide open the whole time. No, that’s just too much.
You can look away, just be natural. Especially the ones who really overthink, you’re overthinking every single move, when you just stop overthinking, just do what feels natural to you, it won’t appear weird.
What is normally natural to give you at least a bit of a clue? Well, when I’m talking (referring to my youtube video), you can see, I’ll look away at points, maybe because I’m thinking and then I’ll come back to you. When you’re talking, you don’t need to look at her the whole time.
This is your story to tell. When it feels right to you to look away, trying to think, then look away, and then come back. There does need to be a healthy eye connection, it’s just too odd if you’re looking away this whole time talking to her. I’m pretty sure you know that but know that it’s natural to look away at points. If there’s silence, you’re eating, look away, observe your environment, and maybe because you did that, you can find a new conversation topic to discuss.
A most important time to make an Eye Contact
Probably the most important time to make eye contact is when she’s sharing something that’s important to her.
Eye contact and nodding your head allow her to feel she’s being heard and tells her that you are listening.
If anything, that’s really the only time where I feel eye contact is important, that’s probably when she will be making eye contact with you. Then maybe she’ll be looking away a little bit, that’s fine, but that’s usually the most important time for eye contact to happen.
Then, later down the road as you get more comfortable. I’m pretty sure just like how comfortable you are with your friends, best friends, and your family, eye contact is supernatural. It doesn’t feel weird to look at each other the whole time. It won’t, trust me. Normally, on first dates, this is where it starts to feel odd.
I hope this topic gives you a summary of how to create an environment. So you don’t feel so much pressure in giving eye contact on a date, but also remembering, just be natural, be cool, be present, don’t overthink it. Do what feels right to you, and I’m pretty sure she will not notice. If you feel you’re being odd or weird, or you can’t make eye contact, then own it. I’ve said in many other videos and blogs if you feel like you’re getting nervous because you’re making eye contact too much, and just say, “Hey, sorry for making– is that too much eye contact because I’m just nervous right now.” That’s it.
Hope this topic helps you guys, get out there and go on those dates, and remember, just be natural, don’t overthink it, stay present. Thank you so much for taking your time to read this!