There’s no such thing as a boring person, so let me answer the question, “how do I date if I’m a boring person?” Let’s get into this big question because I feel I get this a lot when I’m starting off with my clients. Many of my clients are introverted, really shy and reserved, and they come into this thinking, “How am I going to get anybody interested, because I’m boring? I look at TV, I look at society, and I see all these fun people out at bars doing crazy adventures when in reality, I don’t do any of that. I’m boring. How do I even date?”
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Are You Really Boring?
The first thing I want to talk about in regard to that is to put a pause on the word ‘date’ and focus on the word ‘boring’. Do you think you’re boring? There’s a difference between if anybody, not a woman, just anybody has an opinion in thinking that you’re boring versus if you think you’re boring, and if you live a boring life. Do you every day feel really bored and you don’t enjoy anything? You don’t have any hobbies, you don’t do any fun activities, you don’t hang out with friends or family, you don’t enjoy your job? If you’re living every day feeling bored and unhappy, I will not suggest to date.
You do not want to invite someone into that life. You cannot also expect someone to fulfill that fun side for you and to come in and also to be that spice in your life. Because in reality, if you’re waiting for that, you’re actually inviting a toxic relationship. You’re actually inviting someone to potentially mold you, take advantage of you. I don’t want that for you.
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Work on Yourself
So, if you actually don’t enjoy your life every day, I would suggest to work on yourself. Go to a counselor. Even go to therapy to really figure out, how do I add more things in my life to enjoy? To feel at least good about myself every day, and to feel I’m doing something interesting? Try new things, try some new hobbies, challenge yourself in that first. And then when you can come back and say, “No, I like my life. I like my version of boring, I enjoy doing what I do.” Then, you can fall into the second part here.
Interests Are Not Boring
The second part is how you view your interests. Normally, a lot of my guys who say they’re boring is because they believe they have interests that are boring. Now, here’s the thing, guys. You can’t be boring, unless you just stare at a wall all day. Like….that’s all you do, stare at a wall. You work, and you stare at a wall when you come home for six hours straight, maybe I could say that’s the boring aspects. So, do something different. But, with many of my clients, I can’t even actually name one that I’ve ever talked to that had zero interests. They all enjoy something.
But many believe playing games, or reading, doing indoor activities is boring. No, it’s not. If you find it interesting, it is interesting. It is. If you enjoy playing games, boardgames, video games, it is interesting, because it’s interesting to you. You are not boring. You have interests and that is what makes anybody interesting. So, go ahead and list out for yourself. I challenge you to list out at least eight interest that you have. Even though you can’t be doing all eight at the same time, it could be something you’ve done in the past. But just by listing that out, you see you are interesting, because you obviously enjoy doing these things.
Know How to Express Your Interests
Now, here is the key though, which goes into the third part I want to talk about. It’s how you express these interests. Many times, guys are already coming in with the insecurity that playing games makes them boring or uninteresting. So, when they’re talking to women, they’re already coming from a place of being really shy and talking about games and their interests. And because they’re doing that, women feel it. We feel your insecurity. And then, we’ll get bored because you can’t even talk about why you like it.
So, the next challenge I have for you is, after you list out your interests, list out or verbalize to yourself, talk to yourself in a mirror, and tell the mirror, tell yourself, why do you like it? Games, there are so much to games. You challenge yourself. You’re a problem solver, an imaginative. and a creative. Depending on the type of games you play (multi-player specifically), you’re a great team player, you’re a great communicator. So, it depends. But if you find your interests interesting, you need to be confident in knowing why you like it, what values that shows in you, and then express it to her.
If you have interests, you are interesting.
Because even if she doesn’t play games, she will understand the love of being imaginative and the creativity, or finishing up a level. Because life is a game within itself. You level up. Even if she doesn’t play games like you do, when you start talking about how you enjoy that growth, you enjoy when you finally figure out that hack, and you complete that level, she can talk about how she enjoys that, but let’s say in yoga. Something completely different. But hey, life and anything else can be a game.
Just change your perspective on what is interesting and what is not and realize, you’re not boring. If you have interests, you are interesting. But I hope that you believe that everything you do, if you love it, own it, and show you love it, because she can feel it, that is what confidence is. Confidence is owning yourself, loving yourself. You don’t need to love bars and clubs to get the girl. No. I’m pretty sure you know there’s a lot of girls out there who don’t need to go out all the time. They like someone who doesn’t mind being inside and play games and things like that. But once again, own it for yourself, know how to express it for yourself, and that’s all you need to do. That’s how you date. You’re interesting, believe it. I believe it. Now, it’s on you.
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Being yourself is attractive. If you’re an introvert who doesn’t like trying new things, that’s fine; you can show other appealing aspects of your personality, I’ll show you here.