“How to date when you feel you’re boring?” This is a frequently asked question, but let me assure you that there is no such thing as a boring person, so allow me to address it. Let’s get into this big question because I feel I get this a lot when I’m starting off with my clients. Many of my clients are introverted, really shy, and reserved, and they come into this thinking, “How am I going to get anybody interested, because I’m boring? I look at TV, I look at society, and I see all these fun people out at bars doing crazy adventures when in reality, I don’t do any of that. I’m boring. How do I even date?”
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What makes a person boring?
The first thing I want to talk about in regard to that is to put a pause on the word ‘date’ and focus on the word ‘boring’.
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Do you think you’re boring? Have you asked yourself, “Do I have a boring personality?” Well, There’s a difference between if anybody, not a woman, just anybody, has an opinion that you’re boring versus if you think you’re boring and if you live a boring life.
Do you every day feel really bored and you don’t enjoy anything? You don’t have any hobbies, you don’t do any fun activities, you don’t hang out with friends or family, you don’t enjoy your job? If you’re living every day feeling bored and unhappy, I will not suggest to date.
You do not want to invite someone into that life. You cannot also expect someone to fulfill that fun side for you and to come in and also to be that spice in your life. Because in reality, if you’re waiting for that, you’re actually inviting a toxic relationship. You’re actually inviting someone to potentially mold you, and take advantage of you. I don’t want that for you.
Do I have a boring personality
Work on Yourself
So, if you actually don’t enjoy your life every day, I would suggest working on yourself. Go to a counselor. Even go to therapy to really figure out, how do I add more things in my life to enjoy? To feel at least good about myself every day, and to feel I’m doing something interesting? Try new things, try some new hobbies, and challenge yourself first. And then when you can come back and say, “No, I like my life. I like my version of boring, I enjoy doing what I do.” Then, you can fall into the second part here.
Is it normal to feel boring?
The second part is how you view your interests. Normally, a lot of my guys who say they’re boring is because they believe they have interests that are boring. Now, here’s the thing, guys. You can’t be boring, unless you just stare at a wall all day. Like….that’s all you do, stare at a wall. You work, and you stare at a wall when you come home for six hours straight, maybe I could say that’s the boring aspects. So, do something different. But, with many of my clients, I can’t even actually name one that I’ve ever talked to that had zero interests. They all enjoy something.
But many believe playing games, or reading, doing indoor activities is boring. No, it’s not. If you find it interesting, it is interesting. It is. If you enjoy playing games, boardgames, video games, it is interesting, because it’s interesting to you. You are not boring. You have interests and that is what makes anybody interesting.
So, go ahead and list out for yourself. I challenge you to list out at least eight interests that you have. Even though you can’t be doing all eight at the same time, it could be something you’ve done in the past. But just by listing that out, you see you are interesting because you obviously enjoy doing these things.
How to stop being a boring guy
Express your interest
Now, here is the key though, which goes into the third part I want to talk about. It’s how you express these interests. Many times, guys are already coming in with the insecurity that playing games make them boring or uninteresting. So, when they’re talking to women, they’re already coming from a place of being really shy and talking about games and their interests. And because they’re doing that, women feel it. We feel your insecurity. And then, we’ll get bored because you can’t even talk about why you like it.
So, the next challenge I have for you is, after you list out your interests, list out or verbalize to yourself, talk to yourself in a mirror, and tell the mirror, tell yourself, why do you like it? Games, there are so much to games. You challenge yourself. You’re a problem solver, an imaginative. and a creative. Depending on the type of games you play (multi-player specifically), you’re a great team player, you’re a great communicator. So, it depends. But if you find your interests interesting, you need to be confident in knowing why you like it, what values that shows in you, and then express it to her.
If you have interests, you are interesting.
Because even if she doesn’t play games, she’ll still be able to appreciate the sense of accomplishment of completing a level or the love of being creative and imaginative, even if she doesn’t play them herself. Because life itself is a game that you play with yourself. You level up. Even if she doesn’t play games like you do, she’ll be able to talk about how she enjoys the same things you do in yoga when you start talking about how you enjoy that growth, how you enjoy when you finally figure out that hack, and when you complete that level. Even if she doesn’t play games at all. Something totally unrelated to the previous sentence. But, hey, life and everything else in it can be treated like a game.
Just change your perspective on what is interesting and what is not and realize, you’re not boring. If you have interests, you are interesting. But I hope that you believe that everything you do, if you love it, own it, and show you love it, because she can feel it, that is what confidence is. Confidence is owning yourself, loving yourself. You don’t need to love bars and clubs to get the girl.
Know how to express it for yourself
There are a lot of girls out there who don’t feel the need to go out as frequently as you believe. I’m pretty sure you already know this. They prefer someone who doesn’t mind staying inside and participating in activities such as playing games and other similar pastimes. As usual, you are the only person who needs to take responsibility for it and learn how to express it in your own words; nothing else will do. That is the proper way to date. Believe it or not, you are interesting. I believe it. It is up to you at this point.
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Feeling that you’re boring comes from a deeper internal obstacle. In order to feel confident or a bit of attractive, you want to overcome this low self-esteem first, I’ll show you here.