How to find dates when you’re not interesting? This is a common question I get asked a lot. I’m answering this question, because if you haven’t watched my previous video about how do I date when I’m boring, make sure to watch that video first, because I get a lot of clients who are introverted, reserved, and shy.
Many of them don’t like to go out party, go to clubs and bars, and may feel they’re at a disadvantage here, because of so. And they feel that they’re not very interesting. The first part is if you feel that you’re not interesting, go to that other video. I talked a lot about not being interesting and defining boring there. People use it in similar ways.
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Realize Your Interests
The first thing is to realize your interests. If you have interests, you are interesting. Remember that. If you’re not staring at a wall for six hours straight after work, you have interests. And then from there, normally, like I said, most of my clients aren’t super outgoing. They’re not extroverted. They don’t drink, they don’t go to clubs or bars, it’s just not enjoyable. They could go, but it’s just not their environment. Now, the thing I always tell my clients is, I never want you to change who you are. I don’t believe that changing your whole character is how you get the girl.
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I want you to have a healthy long-term relationship and I don’t want you to change yourself completely. Because if you get into a relationship as a different person, you’re going to become yourself at a certain point. You’re not going to enjoy this fake persona you have on. So, this is why everything I’ve ever talked about, I don’t give cheesy lines or pick up lines for you to use. I want you to be yourself. Sure, I give a structure to what you could say, but you fill in the rest.
However, I coach to bring out the best potential in you. I think there’s a lot already there, but it’s just about making it work around who you are, but still challenging yourself, pushing yourself out of that comfort zone so that you can still achieve these results. Because obviously, what you have been doing normally, my clients are staying in their comfort zone. It’s not really getting them any closer to finding dates or the woman that they want.
To answer the question is, how do you find dates? The other video I talked about how you to date, when you get to know somebody. This one is on how to you find dates if you feel you’re not interesting .You don’t go out too much, you don’t party?
Try Online Dating
There are a couple of ways here. I think the first one is probably the most popular, Online dating. Online dating is the best for my clients. Most of my clients, I would say 95%, have found their girlfriends, their wives online, because you get to do it from the safety of your home. You don’t have to go out and feel like you need to use all this energy to do so. Instead, they just open the app, and they make it work from there.
Now, the thing about online dating is that it can be really soul crushing, if you don’t know how to work it. If you are online dating and you just feel you’re not getting any interest, nothing is working and I invite you to hop on a free call with me, because that’s usually a very specific thing. I’d have to go in and figure out what’s going on here because there’s so many factors with online dating that we can switch up to make it successful for you. If you feel you’ve been trying, but that hasn’t worked, then I invite you to schedule a free call with me and I’ll put the link in the bio below.
The World is Your Oyster, Not Just Online
Other than online dating, how do you find dates? If you don’t want to try online, how do you find dates if you don’t party or anything like that? Simple answer, you can find them anywhere. I mean that. Anywhere. If you do not like to go to bars and clubs, I know you get out at some point. It’d be at the grocery store, the mall, the bookstore. Look at your own interests. Look at your own interests and see, where you normally go just casually. Where do you go, where have you been wanting to go, you’ve just have been lazy and go. Now, I know cold approaches are a little scary. If you don’t know what to say in regard to that you can watch my other video about how to start a conversation with someone offline.
But it’s very possible. You don’t need to go to a bar club. Women are all around. If they’re friendly, if they’re quality women, they will respond to you. Now, of course, there’s always going to be those ladies who are just mean and bitter, and that’s not your fault. But if you listen to my other video and follow that open liner, you’re fine. You will be okay.
Go to Events
Now, let’s say cold approaches (meet someone in public, randomly, not at an event) are too much for you. Even if you have a pet, you go to the pet store plenty of times, you see attractive ladies, you’re still way too shy to make that cold approach happen. Well, the third option you have is having to go to events that are more structured meetup.com is really great. They have so many groups with different interests in there. If you like games, if you like books, there’s always book clubs in there. You can find your own age range of people to hang out with.
Those are more structured. People are there to meet others. When you have that understanding and you have that safety of feeling like you’re going to an event, because other people are there to meet others, it’s more safe. Otherwise, you can go to– Some of my clients are just speed dating, because they would rather have someone really set themselves up in these seats and they just rotate. The structure of it really helps. It alleviates some anxiety there.
But otherwise, there are all the options for you. I can’t tell you how many my clients– Actually, I don’t even think I can count more than 10 that says that they love to club and they love to party. Once again, my main clients are introverted and shy. And so, you can make it work for yourself, but you just have to challenge yourself, to push yourself out of your comfort zone to try any of these things. If one thing isn’t working, then to get guidance, get customized help to figure out what are you doing wrong in any of those areas. That’s where I normally come in. That’s why they have me, because I’m able to pinpoint knowing them, their situation, their character, where we can exactly go and what they can say without feeling like they’re not themselves.
That’s that. You got online apps, you have the cold public places, you can go to a comic shop, pet stores, anything like that, wherever you’re already going, you do not need to go to a club or bar. They are there. Coffee shops are great. Or, you can go to meetup.com or you can go to speed dating events, any events that are structured. Those are really the main ways to meet women. But know it’s possible, know that you just have to challenge yourself to try.
And if you’re trying and you can’t figure out what’s going wrong, then I invite you to talk to me. Let’s figure this out, because like I said, most of my clients struggle in this, and I feel very confident in helping them figure it out for them. But I know it’s possible, you got this, you just got to try.
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