He’s been getting dates but it is not leading anywhere, and been wondering how to get them to stick. This is Seth’s struggle for almost his entire dating life.
Seth is a professional guitarist and music teacher that found Ruby’s program right after he talked to another counselor apart from coming across Ruby’s video on his Facebook Feed and liked the way she approached things.
He believed that Ruby can be a big help. He mentioned that he goes out on multiple dates in a week that is not leading him anywhere and finally learned how to stick with fewer dates when he started working one on one with Ruby.
He’s been kind enough to share his dating struggles and admits that after the last few relationships he had, having any hope at all that things were ever going to get better was the hardest part for him.
Talk with Seth
Below is the transcription of Ruby’s online interview with Seth and has been revised for clarity.
Ruby: Thank you so much for tuning in. I have one of our very own here, Seth. He has decided to be so kind and hop on and share his story with us. So, we just want to dive in right away. Hi, Seth. Thank you so much for being here.
Seth: Thanks for having me on here, Ruby.
A little about Seth’s
Ruby: Yeah. So excited to– well, everybody to hear your story and where you are now. If you can, can you just do a quick intro of who you are?
Seth: Oh, sure. I’m 41 years old. I’m a professional guitarist and music teacher in LA, and I actually found your program right after I talked to another counselor the previous week. Obviously, their price was rather exorbitant, but it was also just I found your video just scrolling through my normal Facebook feed, and you were talking to an audience and being really direct about their love life or lack of one, and I’m like, “Yeah, I like how this girl approaches things. I think she can maybe help me now.”
Ruby: Fantastic. Great. Well, I’m glad you chose to go with me. Tell everybody a little bit about where you started, your dating experience before you started this, and then where you are now.
Seth: Well, I come from this very microscopically small town in northern Indiana. So, I never really dated in the traditional sense before I moved to LA. I always just met somebody, we hit it off and be in a relationship together. I had five or six girlfriends over the years. Three of them lasted a year or longer, I think. Since I’ve been in LA, I just had a few dates. Six dates with one girl, that’s the most I ever went on with anybody. Then, one or two here and there. So, just random dating. I had one relationship that was a yearlong out here. It’s all been online since I’ve been here. So, I’ve not had anything turn into meeting someone randomly or in person.
Seth’s hardest dating struggle
Ruby: Yeah. What do you think was your biggest struggle or obstacle?
Seth: After the last few relationships I had, just having any hope at all that things were ever going to get better was the hardest part for me. Also, been dating since then and got fed up because it is not leading me anywhere.
Ruby: Keyword right there is that hope. When you’ve been through so much, you start losing it, and if this is even in the cards for you in a relationship and everything. What do you even do from there? Okay, now let’s just skip ahead and we’ll talk about your process in a bit, but skip ahead. Where are you now? What have you gained insight of and where you are at this present moment?
Seth: For the last month, I went on– I kind of lost track. I know from the end of March through the first week of April, I went on four dates with three different girls in less than 10 days.
Seth: They were all great. Because before that, I had four dates that were one-offs that didn’t lead to anything, and I was really down. Didn’t get any second dates, and then bam, a week later, two weeks later, things just flipped completely. I have a date tonight. The second date with a girl who’s great, and then there’s another girl, I’ve had more than dates but there’s a bit of a limbo period wherein she’s awesome, too, but I’ve just got to put the brakes on a little bit there and just see how that plays out.
Ruby: Yeah, and just so everyone understands, it’s just something that came up in her situation, the scenario that puts her in limbo, but can you actually share that exciting news that you haven’t heard in a while about her feelings for you?
Seth: Well, she told me on our third date, she wanted to be exclusive, I said, “Yeah, me too.”. Because I don’t like the random dating thing. I prefer to get the process over so I can have something meaningful with one person because that’s what we all want to have out of this program.
I haven’t seen it for a couple of weeks, but she told me she didn’t feel any different the other day, she just has to process all this stuff, and if I can wait it out, I think it’s going to be all right.
Ruby: Yes, exactly. What I enjoy hearing most is because I remember you, and correct me if I’m wrong in the very beginning, you’re struggling with getting the dates, but nothing really panned out. Nothing was really of strong interest to you.
But you actually have this lady that is direct with you, you’ve continued to see her, and you still have– even though you haven’t really decided that you are exclusive yet just because this lady has been going through a lot, there’s still somebody else that you actually genuinely enjoy too. So, things are just panning out.
Seth: Yeah, it’s great. Because of the one-off dates, they were coffee dates. It was the– what’s the thing? It was just difficult to process why couldn’t anybody spend more than two hours with me. That’s not a good feeling, but it didn’t last, fortunately.
Seth: Being open-minded is the game-changer
Ruby: So, what was it that you learned from me, or from the program that helped you in that? What do you think was the game-changer there?
Seth: Well, a lot of it was just being open-minded to doing something different, because I’m a teacher myself, I’m usually the expert. I was a martial arts teacher before I ever played guitar, and so, I’m usually the one telling everybody, “Trust me, I know this works.” I don’t have a problem taking advice from anybody, but I also know the older that I get, the more stubborn about certain things I get.
I think that goes for a lot of people, but just opening your mind up to new ways of thinking and doing things differently, because you just come to a roadblock where whatever I’m doing isn’t working, you’re very adamant about either do something different or remain alone, and I read that every time before I even answered the first thing about the course, I knew that, but just hearing it reiterated to you makes a whole lot of difference.
How to keep the conversation going
Seth: Keep that curiosity
Ruby: Exactly. What was your act of doing something different? What was the different thing for you?
Seth: Well, I didn’t have any problem getting dates. I went on a couple of dates earlier this year before I started the course. But as far as– a lot of it was the advice of how to keep the conversation going, because a lot of these women, I remember one time, I sent 12 different messages to 12 different women at once and got no response a couple of years ago.
It’s like, well, because a lot of them will say, “Don’t message me with this, that, or the other, you’ll get blocked, or I won’t message back,” and it’s a big mind game of what am I supposed to say.
So, you gave me a lot of good tips about how to go about that, keep the conversation going. Always ask a question. Keep the curiosity.
Other acquired knowledge
Ruby: Great. Look at you listing what you learned. You already know. Fantastic. So, what other, if there is any other, you already explained quite some, but what other knowledge that you think was very, very helpful you gained that may be helpful for others, that you know really helped you in this?
Seth: Well, just knowing you have a support system by taking the program. Like I was telling you on the phone yesterday, my friends that attempt to give me dating advice don’t know much of anything because they’re older or they’ve been married a long time. None of them are here in LA. So, they try to help, but they really don’t have a clue.
Somebody like yourself who’s really encouraging, but real, and you don’t BS, but you’re direct, that’s how I roll top.
Seth: When you make mistakes or you do something wrong, you’re not critical. You’re encouraging anyway. That’s I have to be that with my own students too. They’ll make a mistake or play something wrong, but instead of saying no, you’re just doing it wrong, I still try to be part of some positive reinforcement even though I’m telling the same thing.
Summarize of my guidance
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Ruby: Yeah. Great. That actually transitions to my next question. You already started talking about it, but if there’s anything else for you to add, which is how would you describe or summarize my guidance or why– you talked about it in the beginning, but why you decided me in the first place. Are there any other reasons why you knew, “Okay, I should probably listen to her?”
Seth: Some of the points you made about things people have hang-ups about when it comes to relationships, like the story you told about the guy who went out with a girl who had bad hair.
Seth: And then had this appointment set up, and it was a total disaster, and he had a hard time after that. Things that can be changed, or things people have hang-ups about that are unhealthy ways to think. It always helps when you send emails at the end, you’ll say, “I’ve always got your back.” That helps too.
Ruby: I do. Even though sometimes, I am a little real, but I do always have your back, and that’s how I do. As you said, I’m very direct. I try not to sugarcoat things, but I don’t put you down. At least I don’t think. All right.
Ruby: Okay, and I know we’ve talked about this as well. Is there a difference do you see as a woman helping men, and what benefit that is?
Seth: Woman’s advice is the best thing
Seth: Oh, it’s fantastic. Most people I’ve talked to about the program are either just friends in general or other men who’ve had the same problems, or they’re my age or older, a lot of them, and they really don’t think about it until I mention it. But having a woman’s advice is the best thing because most of my guy friends– I’ve got a friend, he’s like, “I’m your dating coach. Forget all that stuff.” I was, “Yeah. No.”
He is in a different place than I am because we don’t know how women think. We like to think we might know something, but most of us don’t know anything.
Ruby: Yeah, exactly.
Seth: It’s just navigating that literal minefield, it really helps a lot, because if you’re a woman, you know how women think, and you’ve got all this experience, and it’s like, “Go to the expert. Don’t take shots in the dark.”
Theory about women
Ruby: Yeah, there you go. Don’t take shots in the dark. This has always come up too and I wanted to bring it up as well because there was a theory that only men can teach men how to be men. But I’m not really teaching you how to be a man, I’m teaching you how to be your confident self, to be attracted to the kind of women that you want. Do you have anything to say in regard to that comment?
Seth: Well, there’s definitely a little truth to that. But before I even took the course, one of my friends hit me up and I didn’t have any decent shirts to wear, because I just got rid of a bunch of stuff, and I knew I was going to start dating again, I needed to have some nice clothes.
So, he and his wife took me to one afternoon, and having a woman’s help in that department is a big thing. Because, again, I know it looks good on me, but having somebody there who can critique and say, “No, don’t wear this, or try this other size,” or things like that, we definitely need a woman to help out with. It also helps to have a woman tell you that she likes this or doesn’t like that, or this is attractive, this isn’t, because a lot of times what we think works, doesn’t get us anywhere.
Ruby: Great. Yeah, there are certain of course parts where men can help you out, but if you are trying to date or trying to attract women, then that’s where the female mind helps out. Because a lot of things that you may not know that is attractive to women, it is very attractive.
Seth’s on seeking a dating coach
Seth: I don’t wanna repeat all the patterns that have been
Ruby: Okay, another question that keeps being brought up. This is a very vulnerable topic to talk about. Dating in general, it can feel pretty shameful to ask for help in regard to that. What would you say to people who have that kind of concern, or maybe you can share your story on how you decided, “I need guidance in this”? This is the odd area maybe, that’s what people say it’s an odd area to seek help in but what are your thoughts on that?
Seth: Well, anybody I’ve talked to about me taking the course has been really encouraging, and I was at a point where my last two– my next to the last relationship leveled me completely emotionally, and then I got out of that, and just barely got over that. Then, met a new girl who was amazing, and that barely lasted, so it was a double whammy right there.
At the end of that, I was like, “I’m so sick of these relationships that go nowhere, what I’m doing isn’t working.” So, I started getting all these things on my Facebook feed and emails from relationship experts and reading about a lot of this type of stuff from people who’ve been in a long-term relationship, etc., Just came to the conclusions like, “Well, I need to do something different, because I don’t want to repeat all these patterns that have been.”
Ruby: There you go.
Seth: Plus I had a good friend, she pinpointed a lot of my personal problems with previous relationships, and so before I even started the course I had to really look deep within and then call myself out of my own BS.
Seth: I guess that’s all maybe a little different than most people will go about it, but if anybody’s afraid to ask for help with something they want so bad, but they just can’t seem to get on their own, which was my whole problem, then just do it. I don’t like being alone. I’m sick of it. I don’t like being a bachelor anymore. I don’t want anything to do with it anymore. So, I’m doing as much as I can to end that cycle. I want to be with somebody.
What it takes to be successful in this area
Ruby: I love that. Absolutely love your answer and actually leads to one of the last questions here is, what do you think it takes for someone for a guy or about to work with me, or in this course, what do you think the qualities need to get actual results? It’s not just me giving you everything.
It takes a certain kind of attitude, personality, the qualities you just listed. What do you think– being in it, what are you if you’re talking to the guys right now, which you are, what do they need to have to will make this successful for them?
Seth: Well, you have to have confidence. Nobody wants to totally get bummed out all the time. That’s difficult to get if you haven’t had any success before, because I don’t respond well to rejection like anybody. But when you get consistency happening a little bit better, that helps a lot.
But every time date would go bad, or we get a second date, the next day or the same day, I start chatting with a new girl or have a new message on another site, and you just have to try to keep positive that you’re always getting some results while you’re doing and, or just being with somebody you have to be leaving somebody you really want to be with these have to accept and be understanding, and just be open-minded too.
You have to be open to trying new things
Seth: The two girls I’m going out with right now, they’re both into sports, and I’m not a sports guy. But I told them, “I’ll watch sports with you, because it’s something it’s important to you, and that makes me enjoy it more.” I won’t watch a game by myself.
Whatever, a hockey game or even a baseball game, because I get to spend time with them. So, you have to be open to trying new things and just try not to be– don’t be closed-minded about anything. You have to have your morals standards and not settle for anything and don’t do things you don’t want to do, but it’s the whole growth process of you just have to do something different, and it’s not always easy, but it pays off.
Ruby: Pays off. Yeah. That’s almost like if you haven’t noticed, I always use that quote, “No one ever says it’s going to be easy, but it’s always worth it.”
Ruby: That’s all it is. Great, and I love that having an open mind is very important, just in general. When you learn anything new as a teacher, I’m pretty sure you’re aware too with your students, they have to be open-minded in some way or they’re just not going to learn.
That’s the key here too in this program, because sometimes I will challenge you on some things, but if you’re not open-minded to that, then it’s going to be very difficult to actually get your results.
How he feels right now
Ruby: Okay, two last things. Well, first off, how do you just feel now? After this is done, and now that you’re here and you have someone that wants to be exclusive with you, and said that and validated it just the other day. How do you just feel? You could put it in a couple of words.
Seth: An awful lot better than a couple of months ago.
Ruby: Yeah. Fantastic. Do you feel more clear and focused on what to do?
Seth: Yeah, that particular girl, she’s helping me with that too. You told me yesterday just asked her this one question. So, I did. She gave me an immediate answer. So, that helps too because being clueless and just wondering, that just drives you crazy.
Ruby: Exactly. Sometimes, it’s just asking that one question. I remember telling you just to ask you a simple question. You’re like, “Oh, yeah, I could do that.”
Seth: It’s common sense, but until somebody gives you the idea. But yeah, I feel a whole lot better when I started working with you plus all the dates that I’ve been going on are quality women.
Ruby: There you go. That’s what matters. I always say, I want you to go on dates, but we’ve got to make sure it’s quality dates. I’d rather you go on fewer dates, but they’re quality and you feel good coming out of them, than, yes, six in two weeks, but they’re awful.
Seth: Just do it
Ruby: All right, yeah. In wrapping this up, I want you to speak to the viewers now. For anyone watching this and probably reaching this end, they are either really thinking about taking that plunge and that dive to seek help and guidance, but maybe they’re hesitant in some way. So, what would you tell someone that is wanting this help, but they’re hesitating about something, but what would you tell them to help them in that?
Seth: Well, I would say just, one, you don’t have to spend any money initially to get started with Ruby. She has free webinars that she does. She sends emails about stuff like that all the time. You get the free introductory call in the first place just so you can evaluate where you’re at the moment.
The money I spent wasn’t really that much, and I learned more than I ever would have on my own in a month. Then, when you do take the course, do the assignments and take your time and make sure that you really think it about thoroughly, because this is something important enough where you can’t half-ass it if you’re really serious about solving the problem.
Like I said to you on the phone yesterday, I’ve got a good friend, I’ve been trying to get to even look at some of the emails I forwarded to him. I’ll be seeing him later this month, so hopefully, he’s in a better spot, but literally just do it. Ruby is awesome.
Ruby: Thank you, and I love that quote. I use that quite often too. It’s like, “Just do it.” That’s really all it is. What do you have to lose, right? If anything, you’ll learn a lot. But once again, thank you so much for joining me today, Seth. Your story is quite an inspirational one and a motivational one.
You’ve been through a lot, and as I said, I remember you in the beginning with the emails and struggling and all it takes is you to stay open-minded and taking in what I say to you, and you are really great by the way of implementing.
That’s one thing I will I do want to add in regards to what qualities someone needs in regard to being successful, is actually just implementing either what I’m teaching or what I’m saying, and if it doesn’t work, which some haven’t, you just go back and you say, “Hmm, okay, that didn’t work. What else?” It’s all it takes, implementing instead of just sitting there and reading and listening to my calls. With that stated, anything else that you’d like to add before we wrap it up?
Seth: I don’t think so.
Ruby: All right. Thank you so much for joining me again, and well, I’ll speak to you soon. But thank you so much for your time and thank you for sharing your story.
Seth: Thank you.
As he said, you don’t have to spend a lot of money initially to get help from a professional like Ruby to get started, you can just watch free webinars to figure things out, however, if you want to learn more than you would have on your own in a short period of time go to the expert then. Don’t take shots in the dark, because working with professionals can definitely help you to become successful in this journey.