How to approach a girl without being creepy

I am going to talk about how to approach a woman without being a creep. This is for those situations like a bar, lounge, coffee shop, grocery store, where you want to approach a woman coldly, but you don’t know what to say, and you don’t obviously want to be a creep, because let’s be honest. You’ve probably have heard stories or have some friends of your own that has talked about how guys approached them, and that’s really creepy, and you just don’t want to be those guys. So, let’s talk about how you do approach a girl that you’re attracted to without being a sleezeball or being too creepy.

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What Not to Do

The first thing I want to talk about is what not to do. Now, before I go into that, this is about the meeting places where the point is not to meet. I’m not talking about meetup events, speed dating events, single events, because those kinds of events, shouldn’t be as big of an issue. Because you know, you’re going to this event to meet people, and they know that too. So, conversation starters shouldn’t be too difficult. I’m talking about those scenarios where sure you can go to a bar lounge and know that people can start talking to someone new, but that’s obviously not the agreed-upon reason why everybody is there. So, you kind of want to be careful. Here’s what not to do in those situations.

Randomly introduce yourself

You do not want to just go up to a person and introduce yourself. I, as a woman, has had this happen myself. Where I’m in a normal public place, even a bar setting, and someone will just come up to me and say, “Hi, I’m Ruby.” Automatically, I start to hesitate. Why? Have you guys ever had those salespeople on the streets come up to you and ask, “Hey, how are you doing? What’s going on?” Don’t you already have your alarms up and wondering, “What do you want from me? What are you selling me?” That’s the exact question a lot of women ask themselves.

One time, I had a man once sit at the same table I was sitting while I was working. He said, “Oh, can I sit here?” Already, I was wondering, “Why?” I was nice, and I said, “Sure.” He sat there. He’s like, “Hi, my name is BLANK.” Once again, I wonder, “Okay, why are you here like, what? Why are we talking right now?” That’s what happens for women. We start to question everything. We wonder why, because we don’t know why you’re there. Just tell us your intent, and already, the questions of the whys already bring up a guard for women. So, a lot of you guys who complain that women are always so guarded, a lot of times, it’s because you’re just not stating your intent. We’re confused of your reason or your intent.

The one thing you don’t want to do is, one, just randomly greet her and tell her your name without any reason whatsoever. It just creates more confusion.

Compliment her appearance immediately

Number two, already compliment her on her looks. Sure, that may work for some ladies, and it honestly really only works if you yourself is very attractive. But when a woman’s already being approached, because she knows you think we just look good, we’re already thinking, “Look, anything we say right now, are you really going to listen to me? Because you just see me as a pretty face.” Honestly, for women, we don’t want to feel like that’s all we are…just a pretty face.

 

Assess Your Environment and Use It

So, how do you approach? The first thing you want to think of is your environment. That’s the only thing you have in common. Use your common environment to create a reason, and then ask a question. So, let’s say you’re at a grocery store, and this is a real example: I was at a Trader Joe’s one time, I was looking at avocados. Someone approached me and he said, “You look like you know what you’re doing. How do I know if these avocados are ripe?”

I didn’t hesitate at all. I didn’t question his intent. It seemed like he was just there to look at avocados, and quite honestly, that’s a way to slowly warm up and build rapport in the conversation. Because already, my guard is down. From there, you can take the conversation in a way where you get to know the girl and then you transition. But that’s a completely different topic.

Today, we’re just talking about the approach. If you’re at a bar or lounge, I had a client the other week, he saw a woman’s earring, and he asked, “Wow, that’s a really nice earring.” It’s just a compliment. “Where’d you get it?” She said, “I actually made it,” which then opens up the conversation so much more. You don’t need to compliment a woman’s looks. You can compliment anything else that you both see because that’s what you have in common. A bonus hint for you is if you get stuck with what kind of questions to ask, you can ask for her thoughts or recommendation.

If you’re at a department store, you can ask for her thoughts on that brand that you just picked up or have you tried that before, is it any good? What are you making these avocados for? Why do you need it to be this ripe? All those kinds of questions. So, that’s the only thing. Women have their guards up and I hope you understand for right reasons. We have definitely had our experiences with not-so-great men. So, we can help but make sure that we are safe and protected. With that said, it is very important to make sure you ease in with a very slow to warm up question, and then from there, you can get to know her, she feels that trust more. Then you can ask for her number which is in a different video.

 

Just ask a casual question

That’s it, that’s how you are not a creep. Because quite honestly, if you think about it, you’re only a creep if you cross boundaries, if you’re rude and you’re disrespectful. That’s the line of, “Oh, you’re really pretty. Wow, your hair is nice. Wow, you look delicious.” All those kinds of comments are really alarming, because that means women feel like you’re just staring and that’s creepy because we don’t know what you’re thinking. But if you’re asking just a casual question like anybody else would, why do we feel threatened? I would like to believe that every single one of you guys who’s watching this is not a creep. I would like to believe that you guys, even if I asked you to, you wouldn’t be rude, you wouldn’t be disrespectful.

What I am encouraging you guys to do is to try this method out, use that two-part strategy. Don’t be so afraid, because at the end of the day, there will be some women who had a bad experience with men and will just not take it, and that’s not your fault. But there are also women who are really friendly, who will take it and think, “Oh, yeah. Let me help you find that wine bottle you looking for, answer this question for you, or let me have a friendly conversation.” It’s absolutely normal.

Thank you so much for reading this week’s topic. I hope this helps you out, gets you out there, and make those approaches happen. It’s not as scary as you think, and once again, I really believe you guys aren’t creeps. Just don’t be rude. That’s about it.