Flirting is an art you should cultivate, because not knowing how to flirt could sabotage your dating life– and learning how to flirt is a big question as it is, but how do you flirt when you’re an awkward guy? How to flirt while being awkward? That’s a whole other level! Being awkward is already difficult, and social interactions are hard to navigate. You may be able to be social sometimes, but other times, you feel awkward. You’ve come to define yourself as a socially awkward person (there’s a difference between that and having social anxiety or introverted).
Now, how do you flirt while you’re an awkward person? Random fact: I describe myself as a very silly, goofy, quirky person…. and I’ve had my awkward moments as well….we all have those moments. Let’s figure out how to navigate it!
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How do you flirt if you are awkward?
If you feel like you’re awkward and you’re not sure how to be flirty without being cringe, the first thing to remember is flirting has so many different methods. Yes, there are various ways to flirt, it’s about figuring out how.
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Flirting is engaging with her in a friendly conversation or playfully teasing her because you have a romantic interest in her. It’s all about making a connection and showing enthusiasm. You’re interested in her, and it shows in the way you treat her.
Here are some flirting ways that could help you, regardless of how shy or awkward you may be.
- Play it cool
- Lean in
- Ask Questions
- Make her laugh and put on the charm
That’s all a girl wants. A girl wants to feel like she is different from any other girl you’ve met or dated. She wants to feel unique and special, so think of ways that you know you can do that for her. Think of ways you know you can probably help her feel that way because that is what separates the relationship from a romantic relationship and a friend.
The biggest mistake people make is they treat the date like they treat any other friend, the things they say to her are the same nice things they probably say to another friend. So really ask yourself
“how do I show that I obviously like her and that she’s special?”
How to be flirty but innocent
You can flirt with a woman through playfulness, and humor could be through being straightforward by giving compliments, or through cute little notes that you write to her because it’s too hard for you to verbally think on the spot.
Are you the type to enjoy physical touch? Then, holding hands, leaning in, and hugging would work great for you. There are so many ways to flirt, you just have to own your way of flirting, and try if you don’t know exactly what works for you (it’s important to try!) There are a lot of nerves that come up with flirting but at the end of the day remember, all you have to do is try the method out and see how it works for you. That’s the only way to figure out how to flirt when you’re an awkward guy.
If you get too nervous, prepare yourself as much as you can prior. Pick what your flirting method to try is, go execute, try, and just remember — all you’re doing is making her feel special and if you want to do so by expressing verbally, you can check out my other video about how to give compliments.
Owning your awkwardness
The most important advice that will help you flirt when you’re an awkward guy is….accept and own your awkwardness.
Owning your awkwardness is so important because it shows confidence, it shows your awkwardness is something you accept, and proud of. It is something you could learn from. It only gets really awkward when you don’t talk about it and how you think about it. It’ll be obvious, she’ll realize something’s either going on in your head or she feels uncertain about what’s going on, but she doesn’t want to assume, so she’ll sit there and wonder what’s going on… and that’s what makes it more of an awkward situation. For example, if you blanked out during a conversation, just completely “ergghhh” blanked out. Maybe you’re blanking out because of the nerves, she’s so pretty, or you don’t know what else to say. At that point, it’s okay to say
“I’m sorry, I just completely blanked out. I’ll be honest, I just think you’re so pretty and I just kind of got captivated, so excuse my awkwardness”
If you know you tend to get awkward, you can say at the beginning of a date
“If there’s moments where it seems like I’m blanking out, I can be awkward, don’t mind it, okay? Sometimes I do that and I have that kind of weird sense of humor at times”
You want to own it, to acknowledge it. If you don’t, it’s like an elephant in the room and if no one says something about it, that’s what makes it really awkward.
Even when you’ve messed up on the first date, you want to own that as well! Check out this screen shot below of how this client did so via text (and see her response!)
As you can see, he owned it and acknowledged he was awkward, and hoped she’d give it another shot. He was originally going to walk away without ever acknowledging it, and he thought that she wasn’t interested in him. He acknowledged it and look at her response! She responded so well to it, it clears the air!
Personal story time! On my first date with my boyfriend, we both came into the date, sat down at the wine bar and you can vividly see us sweating (haha, gross). I could literally feel the sweat drops, and feeling it made me nervous — I wondered if he saw it. That worry caused me to start turning red in embarrassment. He was, actually, the same! I saw him sweating too. We, then acknowledged that we both were sweating because it was hot (and only later after we got together, we admit it was because the other person made us nervous :P)
It’s now become a joke between us because we were sweating a little, wondering the same thing, we both did recognize it from the other, but it was a mix of a hot day ….and butterflies in our stomachs haha.
Once again, it only got worse because I only got nervous due to my worry about how it would come off. Just remember, clearing the air, owning it, acknowledging it, and staying honest is how you flirt when you’re an awkward guy. You can have her feel special by admitting the honest truth!
Honestly, when you’re upfront, it’s cute and it’s endearing. Women really appreciate people who are honest, who own who they are…because that shows confidence and quite honestly a lot of my clients who do that, it ends up well.
They won’t ever reject you because you admit you’re an awkward person. It’s not about that. It’s about everything else that you two share, your conversation flowing, and all you connect on.
If you still have a difficult time managing your nerves. I am going to teach you the one and only powerful tool to start getting dates and stop self-sabotage.
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